# Songs that totally did not happen **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** music\ **Created:** [August 10, 2022, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-totally-did-not-happen/969417 "2022-08-10T06:36:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![cieskokid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cieskokid/32/5374_2.png) [@cieskokid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cieskokid)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2022, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-totally-did-not-happen/969417/161 "2022-08-14T05:11:04Z")
Maybe not EVERYONE …but EVERY BODY was! [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/bmfudW7rbG0/hqdefault.jpg "Carl Douglas Kung Fu Fighting (Original Music Video)") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmfudW7rbG0) ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2022, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-totally-did-not-happen/969417/162 "2022-08-14T07:32:05Z")
> [@Kent\_Clark](#): > > No matter how rich she was before being expelled from school, no one Bob Dylan knew used to ride on a chrome horse with a diplomat who carried on his shoulder a Siamese cat and took from her everything he could steal Next you’ll be telling me that he could read that letter I sent him about the time the doorkob broke. He probably didnt even think I was joking when I asked him how he was doing. ---
**Author:** ![Tatterdemalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/43a26b/32.png) [@Tatterdemalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tatterdemalion)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2022, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-totally-did-not-happen/969417/163 "2022-08-14T11:08:27Z")
I don’t think Johnny Cash has really been everywhere either. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2022, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-totally-did-not-happen/969417/164 "2022-08-14T12:11:47Z")
At the extreme opposite end of the spectrum, I do not doubt **Sublime** for a heartbeat when they claim they smoked two joints. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2022, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-totally-did-not-happen/969417/165 "2022-08-14T14:06:45Z")
Or that he snuck a car out of an assembly plant one piece at a time. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2022, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-totally-did-not-happen/969417/166 "2022-08-14T14:23:13Z")
> [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](#): > > Or that he snuck a car out of an assembly plant one piece at a time. Stupid foole can’t even get his story straight: The first day I got me a fuel pump And the next day I got me an engine and a trunk later The transmission was a '53 and the motor turned out to be a '73 Time traveling, Johnny? Or lying! > [@Guest-starring\_Id](#): > > If Ms. Carpenter can be on top of the world, looking down on creation, well, that’s pretty darned impressive. Lots of people climb Everest. 🙂 It’s still impressive, I’ll grant that. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2022, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-totally-did-not-happen/969417/167 "2022-08-14T15:00:08Z")
Alice Cooper was 22 when he recorded _I’m Eighteen_. Liar. ---
**Author:** ![dirtball](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dirtball/32/18772_2.png) [@dirtball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dirtball)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2022, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-totally-did-not-happen/969417/168 "2022-08-14T15:39:40Z")
I don’t believe it when Robert Plant sings “Mine’s a tale that can’t be told.” You know why? Because he immediately proceeds to tell the damn tale! What’s up with that? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2022, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-totally-did-not-happen/969417/169 "2022-08-14T15:44:13Z")
> [@dirtball](#): > > I don’t believe it when Robert Plant sings “Mine’s a tale that can’t be told.” You know why? Because he immediately proceeds to tell the damn tale! Carly Simon sang about a guy who’s where he should be all the time. She then told us about who he’s with when he’s not where he should be. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2022, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-totally-did-not-happen/969417/170 "2022-08-14T15:45:01Z")
…also, Robert, I doubt you saw the kings who ruled them all. > [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > Lots of people climb Everest. 🙂 It’s still impressive, I’ll grant that. Yeah I’m pretty sure Karen was having some sort of God complex or something omniscient like that. Possibly evil world domination. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2022, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-totally-did-not-happen/969417/171 "2022-08-14T15:45:12Z")
I’m pretty sure the warden never threw a party at the county jail. And when did county lockups ever have wardens in the first place? ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2022, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-totally-did-not-happen/969417/172 "2022-08-14T17:27:09Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > I’m pretty sure the warden never threw a party at the county jail. I’m more worried about #47 telling #3 how cute he is. They still have segregated jails, and people tended to get more het up about those things\* back then.\*\* \* not that there’s anything wrong with that \*\* I’m genuinely surprised that line never got heat back in the day. Seriously! ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2022, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-totally-did-not-happen/969417/173 "2022-08-14T17:31:56Z")
I’ve always felt kinda sorry for the wooden chair. ---
**Author:** ![scudsucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scudsucker/32/14101_2.png) [@scudsucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scudsucker)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2022, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-totally-did-not-happen/969417/174 "2022-08-14T18:30:39Z")
I’m no forensic investigator, so will we ever know if Casey Jones was a train engineer while under the influence of illicit drugs? ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2022, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-totally-did-not-happen/969417/175 "2022-08-14T18:36:49Z")
He carried that monkey on his back all the way to Mudville. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2022, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-totally-did-not-happen/969417/176 "2022-08-14T19:18:15Z")
Why would anybody give a feather a name, much less “Macaroni”? That sounds more Italian than Yankee. ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2022, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-totally-did-not-happen/969417/177 "2022-08-14T21:25:27Z")
> [@scudsucker](#): > > I’m no forensic investigator, so will we ever know if Casey Jones was a train engineer while under the influence of illicit drugs? Certainly a train engineer, though I’m not sure about the use of drugs: > **[Casey Jones | Fatal accident](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Casey_Jones#Fatal_accident)** > > There is disagreement over the circumstances prior to Casey Jones's fatal last run. In the account given in the book Railroad Avenue by Freeman H. Hubbard, which was based on an interview with fireman Sim Webb, he and Casey had been used extra on trains 3 and 2 to cover for engineer Sam Tate, who had marked off ill. They returned to Memphis at 6:25 a.m. on the morning of April 29, giving them adequate time to be rested for number 1 that night, which was their regular assigned run. > The Fred J. Le... The Grateful Dead added ‘high on cocaine’ just to find a rhyme. There is no evidence that Jones was high when he crashed. ---
**Author:** ![Jaycat.again](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jaycat.again/32/11525_2.png) [@Jaycat.again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaycat.again)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2022, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-totally-did-not-happen/969417/178 "2022-08-14T21:48:20Z")
> [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > Why would anybody give a feather a name, much less “Macaroni”? That sounds more Italian than Yankee. I never laughed so hard in my life, as when I heard my five-year-old nephew singing: “Yankee Doodle came to town Riding on a baby Turned the corner just in time To see a naked lady.” ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2022, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-totally-did-not-happen/969417/179 "2022-08-14T22:00:03Z")
Coincidently, the song in the OP came up on the ole memory card in my car stereo this morning. Some notes: “Making love in the afternoon with Cecilia. Up in my bedroom” Somehow I take the song to be from the point of a teenage boy. So, this his taking place in his bedroom. Why is this taking-my-place person getting there? Is this a relative? A sibling? A parent? Ick. But that’s probably wrong. He’s asking Cecilia to come home. So she lives there. But it’s his bedroom. Huh? Nowhere in the song is the gender of the place taker mentioned. Could it be a female? Hmmm. And somehow he’s happy when she comes back to him. Duuuuude. Buy a vowel. The next song up on my stereo was _Smoke On The Water_ by Deep Purple. Like, sure, they watched a casino burn down across the lake at Montreux. Right, I bet. Sure. What? Nevermind. ---
**Author:** ![Bijou\_Drains](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bijou_drains/32/2814_2.png) [@Bijou\_Drains](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bijou_Drains)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2022, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-totally-did-not-happen/969417/180 "2022-08-14T23:18:10Z")
Smoke on the water happened , the original Deep Purple album had pictures of the fire . [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-totally-did-not-happen/969417.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-totally-did-not-happen/969417.md?page=10)