Songs that totally did not happen

And that’s such an easy thing to fix. Artistes just don’t care. “Facts be damned! I’m creating ART!”

Early evening, April four

So, did Janice ever get her Mercedes Benz, color TV and a night on the town?

In If it Makes You Happy, Sheryl Crow sang about finding Geronimo’s rifle, Marilyn’s shampoo and Benny Goodman’s corset and pen. I think she made that up.

The small-town boy born and raised in South Detroit seems geographically unlikely.

Carly Simon sued Rod Stewart claiming she was the inspiration for “You’re In My Heart”. He claimed the song was a basketball song because of the lyrics, “You’re Celtic, united…”

I saw a red door once and wanted to paint it black.

The red did not complement the rest of the exterior color scheme at all.

There is also the fact (oft commented about on Twitter) that given the public transit situation in the US if your town has a midnight train going anywhere it’s not that small. Hell, even most big city train systems shut down at like 10-11 o’clock.

You got it wrong, here are the lyrics. But Steve later admitted there was no South Detroit (which would be in Canada anyway).

“Just a small town girl
Livin’ in a lonely world
She took the midnight train going anywhere
Just a city boy
Born and raised in South Detroit
He took the midnight train going anywhere”

She was a small-town girl. He was a city boy, born and raised in South Detroit.

Still no South Detroit. There’s a Southwest Detroit though- Mexican Village area. Some very good restaurants.

ETA: Ninja’d by @mixdenny

A bandmate of Ray’s, even, IIRC. The story I remember goes that the bandmate flirted the whole night with “Lola”, took her to his room only to notice stubble on her chin in the morning. No cite, that’s something I read somewhere a long time ago.

I never lived in a city with trains so I just took the lyrics to mean a midnight train rolling through some small town and then the outskirts of a city and they met by chance. Don’t wreck my daydreams.

Whether the lights are out or not, if you come across a dead body in Georgia it’s a really had idea to fire your gun into the air to get the attention of the Sheriff.

Sure she did. Right after she was issued her harp, wings and white robe with gold trim.

Also “A singer in a smokey room
A smell of wine and cheap perfume”

I’m not buying the fact anyone is smelling wine over the smell of cigarette smoke and cheap perfume.

Georgie Fame’s “The Ballad of Bonnie and Clyde” is loaded with errors, most notoriously having them gunned down while they were “walking in the sunshine”.

Actually, they were robbing a Piggly-Wiggly at the time.

Amtrak. The Sunset Limited sometimes gets into Benson AZ at the weirdest hours. Totally believable that it gets in at Midnight. It has a population of 5000. And you can take the midnight train to Georgia. (woo hoo)

And if the city boy was born and raised in south Detroit (no capital letter) there’s nothing wrong with that.

Yeah, but all Johnny got was a stupid fiddle that can’t hold a tuning and is way too heavy to play comfortably, numb or not.

In comparison, all Keith Richards had to do was record a little sympathy for Satan, and he gets eternal life.

If I were Johnny, I’d be pissed.

The sound of a silver hammer striking a human head is more of a “thud, thud” than a “bang, bang” or a “clang, clang”.

Although I try to keep an open mind about these things, I am frankly doubtful Pressed Rat and Warthog ever closed down their shop selling atonal apples, amplified heat and Pressed Rat’s collection of doglegs and feet. I am also skeptical that when they left, telling no one goodbye, Pressed Rat wore red jodhpurs, Warthog a striped tie. Several other claims in the song seem dubious as well.