On the other hand, you shouldn’t name something you might have to eat. After all, the heat was hot and after three days he thought the desert was fun, so clearly mad as a hatter.
And there ain’t no one for to tell you that when you have heatstroke, grammar is the first thing to go. Horse naming is just WAY down the list.
Kind of hard to find a place where the buffalo roam, since they’ve almost all been slaughtered. And what games can deer and antelope play? Hide and seek? Kickball? Trivial Pursuit?
Whoever says “seldom is heard a discouraging word” has never spent any time fraternizing with ranch hands.
Speaking of Mr. Mellencamp, normal people do not suck on chili dogs.
And he sure says a lot for somebody who has no time to talk
Of course, it’s not all lies and equivocations; truth be told, I did have a peaceful, easy feeling, and I did want to sleep with her in the desert that night.
No matter how rich she was before being expelled from school, no one Bob Dylan knew used to ride on a chrome horse with a diplomat who carried on his shoulder a Siamese cat and took from her everything he could steal.
Because if was having a threesome, then WTF does he have to complain about? That a third person had the temerity to get involved in this threesome he was having? Cecelia is not the crazy one in this situation if so.
Yeah I’d agree, but only because this anecdote seems to involve a suspiciously large number of things that rhyme 
You may well be right.
But then you would also need to accept there is a contradiction between “totally did not happen” and “complaining that it did happen”
I’m very sceptical that someone could be their own Grandpa.
No way that all the lights in Georgia went out at the same time.
Another Dave Barry gem:
“Mr. Diamond, your Barca Lounger on line three.”
I always thought Cecilia and her singer were living in a hippie commune.
I hope not the Spahn Ranch.
Dave’s awesome.
I’m fairly certain Waldo Jeffers never mailed himself to his girlfriend.
Also The lead singer of the Dickies was never stuck in a pagoda with Tricia Toyota(or a condo with Marlon Brando, for that matter.)
Well, it is supposed to be about or inspired by something like a five or six year old girl, so I wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t have much agency in the matter.
If Ms. Carpenter can be on top of the world, looking down on creation, well, that’s pretty darned impressive.
I’ve always wondered how Donna Fargo knew that she was the happiest girl in the whole USA. Was the happiness level measured for every person? How do you measure happiness? What period of time was she the happiest? Was it for just a few minutes, or was she the happiest for an extended period of time?
If Linda Ronstadt were actually traveling to the beat of a different drum, how could she have sung in tempo with the rest of the musicians?
Sorry, Ozzy, you rock hard along with the rest of the band in this one, but that’s some big talk in “Supernaut”:
I’ve crossed the oceans, turned every bend
I found the plastic at the gold at rainbow’s end
I’ve been through magic and through life’s reality
I’ve lived a thousand years and it never bothered me