# Songs That Wouldn't Fly Today **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 26, 2017, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-wouldnt-fly-today/778227 "2017-01-26T15:05:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2017, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-wouldnt-fly-today/778227/61 "2017-01-27T01:03:47Z")
> [@WOOKINPANUB](#): > > Let me preface by saying \*I \*think it’s a great song but perhaps **buddha\_david** is alluding to Mr. Collins’ not so great attempt at a Hispanic accent. Also, the lyrics do refer to his bottle of tequila and his “seester” who will do anything to help him get to the outside. Oh I love the song to death, _especially_ since it’s so politically incorrect. But you’ve gotta admit it’s completely cringeworthy these days. I can’t imagine Collins or Genesis ever performing it again. ---
**Author:** ![ekedolphin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ekedolphin/32/10003_2.png) [@ekedolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ekedolphin)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2017, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-wouldnt-fly-today/778227/62 "2017-01-27T01:05:19Z")
I had no trouble finding the lyrics to Ted Nugent’s “Jailbait”, and… ew, gross. I’m not gonna repeat them here. ---
**Author:** ![Saintly\_Loser](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saintly_loser/32/4045_2.png) [@Saintly\_Loser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saintly_Loser)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2017, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-wouldnt-fly-today/778227/63 "2017-01-27T01:10:42Z")
_Good Morning Little Schoolgirl_, by Sonny Boy Williamson (and recorded by many others). Good morning little school girl Good morning little school girl Can I go home with you? Can I go home with you? Tell your mother and your father I once was a school boy, too ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2017, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-wouldnt-fly-today/778227/64 "2017-01-27T01:18:56Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > **19** _years old and sweet as she can be._ big difference. As far as I can tell, if you listen to the original, Berry says nine years old. Not nineteen. ---
**Author:** ![JpnDude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/838e76/32.png) [@JpnDude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JpnDude)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2017, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-wouldnt-fly-today/778227/65 "2017-01-27T01:44:15Z")
German Euro-disco band **Bad Boys Blue** had an English-language song called [Pretty Young Girl](https://youtu.be/j6kUZjN-9Gc?t=57) in the mid-80s. > [@](#): > > [Chorus] > Pretty young girl of my mind > How I wish you to be mine > Girl you’re no child anymore > Pretty young girl of my mind > Don’t you know, know I can’t hide > Can’t hide my feelings > **You’re my girl and you’re sixteen** ---
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2017, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-wouldnt-fly-today/778227/66 "2017-01-27T02:08:20Z")
The Police - Don’t Stand so Close to me. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2017, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-wouldnt-fly-today/778227/67 "2017-01-27T02:22:12Z")
There were quie a few songs then what were banned within a few days of being released. One was Ebony Eyes by the Everly Brothers. By banned, I mean nearly all radio stations removed it from their play list. A few others were Transfusion by Nervous Norvus, and the original Battle of New Orleans by Jimmie Driftwood, before JOhnny Horton sanitized the lyrics and cut out most of the verses entirely. ---
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2017, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-wouldnt-fly-today/778227/68 "2017-01-27T02:25:04Z")
Warren Zevon - Excitable Boy ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2017, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-wouldnt-fly-today/778227/69 "2017-01-27T03:02:58Z")
> [@PatrickLondon](#): > > Weren’t the original words to Puttin’ On the Ritz fairly obviously patronising about black people and subsequently re-written? A lot of “Great American Songbook” songs were originally written to be performed by African-American artists, in Broadway shows or revues. Lyrics got re-written for white artists to sing; condescending terms got revised. Without looking it up, I think the original line in “Puttin’ on the Ritz” had to do with stylish, well-dressed Harlem types making the nightclub scene and whooping it up “every Thursday evening.” Seems innocuous until you examine urban social history and notice that Thursday night was traditionally the maid’s night off. “Lulu’s Back in Town” has an original line about how “You can tell all my pets/All my Harlem coquettes/Mister Otis regrets/That he won’t be around” because, well, Lulu’s back in town, and he’ll be boffing her tonight, thank you very much. When Mel Torme recorded it in the 1950s, the line became “All my blondes and brunettes.” ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2017, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-wouldnt-fly-today/778227/70 "2017-01-27T03:18:35Z")
> [@SantaMan](#): > > “[Homecoming Queen has a gun](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xG3yGdQYwqg)” - after columbine, well… Psh. [I Don’t Like Mondays](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8yteMugRAc0) was about a [real life school massacre](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSFIPcwqGvw). ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2017, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-wouldnt-fly-today/778227/71 "2017-01-27T04:25:21Z")
> [@buddha\_david](#): > > “Illegal Alien” by Genesis. I’ll see your “Illegal Alien” and raise you a “Speedy Gonzales” by Pat Boone. ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2017, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-wouldnt-fly-today/778227/72 "2017-01-27T04:46:01Z")
> [@Ukulele\_Ike](#): > > A lot of “Great American Songbook” songs were originally written to be performed by African-American artists, in Broadway shows or revues. Lyrics got re-written for white artists to sing; condescending terms got revised. > > Without looking it up, I think the original line in “Puttin’ on the Ritz” had to do with stylish, well-dressed Harlem types making the nightclub scene and whooping it up “every Thursday evening.” Seems innocuous until you examine urban social history and notice that Thursday night was traditionally the maid’s night off. You got me curious so I did look it up and while the second paragraph is right, Irving Berlin wrote the song and couldn’t find a use for it for three years so it wasn’t intended for anything in particular. However, the movie _Putting On the Ritz_ (1930) had it sung by an interracial chorus, the first in a talkie apparently. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Angel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d26b3c/32.png) [@Johnny\_Angel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Angel)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2017, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-wouldnt-fly-today/778227/73 "2017-01-27T04:52:42Z")
I myself grandfather in a lot of stuff in my regular rotation that I would be appalled by if someone tried it today, including: [ul] [li]Post-teens singing about their love or lust for teens - e.g., [When you Were Sweet Sixteen](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfSBpZDQiTw), [Sexy and 17](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZynIhCs27Xs), [Good Morning, Little Schoolgirl](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zj293l5w2MU)[/li][li]The pathetic girl songs - [Where the Boys Are](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iDcvmrHV9Jc), [Bobby’s Girl](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YLdKzzdpCk), _ahem_ [Johnny Angel](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wt7UYKepRLU)[/li][li]Songs that smack of stalking or harassment - [My Lorraine](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPe-jWTr1TY), [Young Blood](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-Exe4YUJyI)[/li][li]Casual Racism - [Ling Ting Tong](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QO1IwdanmNM), [Rang Tang Ding Dong (I am the Japanese Sandman)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82FP4LRtLa8)[/li][li]Caddishness in general - [The Wanderer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0FFtht9k87k), [Travelin’ Man](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0vFdCdNQP4)[/li][li]Songs that involve abusing women - [Catch 'Em Young, Treat 'Em Rough, Tell ‘Em Nothin’](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFxWk9tB0ZQ), [Monkey Hips and Rice](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQQgc4hkDAk), [Tain’t Nobodys Business if I Do](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2cngx_KKiWE), [32-20 Blues](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G0H_5PSNokk), [Ain’t She Got Nerve](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2pGtADEnOA)[/li][li]Songs whose viewpoint is otherwise appalling - [Rotten Cocksuckers’ Ball](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-n5vG2SjJY), [Signifying Monkey](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-oA3U-5c8w)[/li][li]Songs where you think the guy is singing about his girlfriend or wife but he’s actually singing about his daughter - [Barbra Lee](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ExL6ylBQtHs), [Memphis Tennessee](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89Sbdk1mh3k)[/li][/ul] I could mention a bunch more, but all these are songs that I like and won’t be ditching because of some element that would make me reject a new song. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2017, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-wouldnt-fly-today/778227/74 "2017-01-27T05:57:55Z")
> [@PatrickLondon](#): > > Weren’t the original words to Puttin’ On the Ritz fairly obviously patronising about black people and subsequently re-written? There’s an uncensored version of the video on You Tube; at first, I thought it was because some of the performers were quite obviously white men in blackface, and maybe it was, but there’s also a brief shot of a woman wearing a bustier that doesn’t cover any of her breasts. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2017, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-wouldnt-fly-today/778227/75 "2017-01-27T06:03:34Z")
> [@SantaMan](#): > > “[Homecoming Queen has a gun](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xG3yGdQYwqg)” - after columbine, well… When the song came out, about 15 years prior to Columbine, MTV refused to play it. The “Night Flight” program (remember that? Overnights on the weekend on another channel) did. How about this? > **[Google](https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=if+the+man+in+the+moon+were+a+coon)** > > Paris Games Artistic Gymnastics! #GoogleDoodle ---
**Author:** ![eunoia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eunoia/32/97_2.png) [@eunoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eunoia)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2017, 8:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-wouldnt-fly-today/778227/76 "2017-01-27T08:36:12Z")
> [@Exapno\_Mapcase](#): > > [“He Hit Me and It Felt Like a Kiss”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f20Oz9Yr_So) from The Crystals. 2013 Void Vision remake: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p\_poOYfklzo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_poOYfklzo) ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2017, 9:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-wouldnt-fly-today/778227/77 "2017-01-27T09:20:20Z")
> [@Ponch8](#): > > “Wives and Lovers,” written by Burt Bacharach and Hal David. Here’s a sample of the lyrics: > > I’m warning you, > Day after day, there are girls at the office and the men will always be men, > **Don’t stand him up** , with your hair still in curlers, you may not see him again. > Wives should always be lovers too “Don’t **send him off** with your hair still in curlers.” Nobody stands anybody up with their hair in curlers. What ARE curlers, anyway? ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2017, 9:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-wouldnt-fly-today/778227/78 "2017-01-27T09:37:14Z")
Remember Starz? _Subway Terror, Violation, Cherry Baby_? (I may be the only living Starz fan left) Anyway … they had a song off their Coliseum Rock album called _So Young, So Bad_ featuring lyrics such as: “Two more years and you’ll be seventeen But you’ll be burnt out and wasted from the things you’ve seen” and “You should be home playing with your dolls Instead of here playing with my balls.” ---
**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2017, 10:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-wouldnt-fly-today/778227/79 "2017-01-27T10:49:45Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > Anyone remember The Cure’s ‘Killing an Arab’? > mmm To be fair, that was controversial in its own time, and they ended up putting a sticking on the album saying it’s not them endorsing killing an Arab but about the Camus novel _The Stranger._ ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2017, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-wouldnt-fly-today/778227/80 "2017-01-27T10:58:16Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > Supposedly, it was about his niece, who he was babysitting. But I agree, it’s too darn goopy. Yeah, I am willing to believe the song was intended to be entirely innocent. But it’s still creepy as fuck and I remain surprised that no one said, “whoa, we’re not going there” before the song was released. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-wouldnt-fly-today/778227.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-wouldnt-fly-today/778227.md?page=5)