# Songs they'd NEVER let contestants perform on American Idol **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 24, 2007, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-theyd-never-let-contestants-perform-on-american-idol/412922 "2007-07-24T03:20:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Darryl\_Lict](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7cd45c/32.png) [@Darryl\_Lict](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darryl_Lict)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2007, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-theyd-never-let-contestants-perform-on-american-idol/412922/21 "2007-07-24T03:54:59Z")
**Star Fucker** (Star Star) by the **Rolling Stones**. Oddly apropos for American Idol. ---
**Author:** ![SSG\_Schwartz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SSG\_Schwartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSG_Schwartz)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2007, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-theyd-never-let-contestants-perform-on-american-idol/412922/22 "2007-07-24T04:01:33Z")
Oops, made the wrong link SSG Schwartz ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2007, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-theyd-never-let-contestants-perform-on-american-idol/412922/23 "2007-07-24T04:03:12Z")
“The Latin One”, by 10,000 Maniacs. Cheery, 80’s poppy song about the horrors of a gas attack in the trenches of WWI. Adapted from a poem by an English fellow who died in that war, if memory serves. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2007, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-theyd-never-let-contestants-perform-on-american-idol/412922/24 "2007-07-24T04:05:04Z")
Oh, and almost anything by Voltaire. The goth singer, not the French philosopher, naturally. “God Thinks”, “When You’re Evil”, “Zombie Prostitute” - hell, just pick a song at random. The only one that would probably be allowed on is “Goodnight, Demonslayer”. ---
**Author:** ![SSG\_Schwartz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SSG\_Schwartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSG_Schwartz)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2007, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-theyd-never-let-contestants-perform-on-american-idol/412922/25 "2007-07-24T04:05:10Z")
I meant to say [H.W.C](http://www.lyricsdepot.com/liz-phair/h-w-c.html) by Liz Phair. The lyrics are NSFW, but don’t hum them and you should be OK. SSG Schwartz ---
**Author:** ![supervenusfreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@supervenusfreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/supervenusfreak)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2007, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-theyd-never-let-contestants-perform-on-american-idol/412922/26 "2007-07-24T04:12:24Z")
ooooooooooooooooooooooh “She Bop” by Cyndi Lauper and “If I Were Gay” by Stephen Lynch. Although that may have been an appropriate song for Clay… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![boggle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/848f3c/32.png) [@boggle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boggle)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2007, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-theyd-never-let-contestants-perform-on-american-idol/412922/27 "2007-07-24T04:16:49Z")
[QUOTE=Zoggie] _My Way_ as performed by Sid Vicious [/QUOTE] Cause they couldn’t do it as ‘well’. ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2007, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-theyd-never-let-contestants-perform-on-american-idol/412922/28 "2007-07-24T04:21:26Z")
“To Drunk Too Fuck” by the Dead Kennedys. Great, great song, but can’t do it on TV. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2007, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-theyd-never-let-contestants-perform-on-american-idol/412922/29 "2007-07-24T04:32:56Z")
[QUOTE=supervenusfreak] “If I Were Gay” by Stephen Lynch. Although that may have been an appropriate song for Clay… 😃 [/QUOTE] Oh, well if Stephan Lynch songs are allowed. I’m gonna go with Special Ed, or Taxi Driver, or Talk To Me. How about Asshole by Dennis Leary. ---
**Author:** ![bbs2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2007, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-theyd-never-let-contestants-perform-on-american-idol/412922/30 "2007-07-24T04:38:10Z")
Kill all the White People! - Type O Negative (which I snuck into the video introduction of my high school news program) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Yookeroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yookeroo/32/323_2.png) [@Yookeroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yookeroo)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2007, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-theyd-never-let-contestants-perform-on-american-idol/412922/31 "2007-07-24T04:39:43Z")
“Closer” by Nine Inch Nails ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2007, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-theyd-never-let-contestants-perform-on-american-idol/412922/32 "2007-07-24T04:48:18Z")
“White Punks on Dope,” by The Tubes. (Actually, I’ve never seen “American Idol,” but I’ve heard about it.) ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2007, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-theyd-never-let-contestants-perform-on-american-idol/412922/33 "2007-07-24T04:52:19Z")
“I Dig Rock and Roll Music” - Peter, Paul and Mary FTR, I’ve never watched but a few minutes of the non-audition shows, and even then only a few. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2007, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-theyd-never-let-contestants-perform-on-american-idol/412922/34 "2007-07-24T05:20:46Z")
[QUOTE=Sgt Schwartz] Did you mean[Cousin Kevin](http://www.lyricsdomain.com/20/the_who/cousin_kevin.html)? [/QUOTE] Cousin Kevin’s the bully cousin. The molester is Uncle Ernie, who’s the narrator of Fiddle About. [QUOTE=Mr. Excellent] Oh, and almost anything by Voltaire. The goth singer, not the French philosopher, naturally. “God Thinks”, “When You’re Evil”, “Zombie Prostitute” - hell, just pick a song at random. The only one that would probably be allowed on is “Goodnight, Demonslayer”. [/QUOTE] I doubt they’d have any trouble with Anniversary, either. And he has a couple I wouldn’t be more than slightly surprised to hear. Others of his that would Totally Not Make The Cut, however - The Man Upstairs, Dead Girls (how many artists have two songs about necrophilia?), The Headless Waltz. Ex Lover’s Lover, The Chosen, or The Last Word. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Hamster\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@The\_Hamster\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hamster_King)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2007, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-theyd-never-let-contestants-perform-on-american-idol/412922/35 "2007-07-24T05:25:42Z")
[QUOTE=Manduck] “To Drunk Too Fuck” by the Dead Kennedys. Great, great song, but can’t do it on TV. [/QUOTE] I think most of The Dead Kennedys’ oeuvre would be off-limits: “California Uber Alles”? “Holiday in Cambodia”? “Kill the Poor”? “I Kill Children”? Although I love the image of someone getting up on the Idol stage and roaring the words “God told me to skin you alive … .” 🙂 And how about Gil Scott-Heron’s “The Revolution Will Not Be Televised” … ? ---
**Author:** ![Dottygumdrop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Dottygumdrop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dottygumdrop)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2007, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-theyd-never-let-contestants-perform-on-american-idol/412922/36 "2007-07-24T05:44:27Z")
_The Roof is on Fire_ - Bloodhound Gang ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2007, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-theyd-never-let-contestants-perform-on-american-idol/412922/37 "2007-07-24T06:02:45Z")
The Bloodhound Gang? Could you really limit it to one song from a band with an album called _Hooray for Boobies?_ Althogh, I’d really like to see someone tackle _A Lapdance Is so Much Better When The Stripper Is Crying._ Failing that, another song we’re not likely to hear on _Idol_ is Pink Floyd’s _Not Now John_. I think every third word or so is “fuck.” ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2007, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-theyd-never-let-contestants-perform-on-american-idol/412922/38 "2007-07-24T06:14:51Z")
**Crazy Bitch** - by _Buckcherry_ ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2007, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-theyd-never-let-contestants-perform-on-american-idol/412922/39 "2007-07-24T07:14:33Z")
[QUOTE=boggle] Cause they couldn’t do it as ‘well’. [/QUOTE] Though Omer in the movie “American Dreamz” performed the more traditional, Frank Sinatra “My Way” at the end. ---
**Author:** ![installLSC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/54ee81/32.png) [@installLSC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/installLSC)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2007, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-theyd-never-let-contestants-perform-on-american-idol/412922/40 "2007-07-24T07:52:12Z")
Oh this is going to be fun: Everything by Big Black. Any band that can have songs about child molestation (“Jordan, Minnesota”) and self-immolation (“Kerosene”) on the _same album_ is doomed never to be on AI. Tons of Frank Zappa, but especially “Dinah Moe-Humm” and “Jewish Princess”. “Me and a Gun”, Tori Amos “Polly”, Nirvana And the song most guaranteed to have the studio audience burn down the entire building in protest–“Rednecks” by Randy Newman. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-theyd-never-let-contestants-perform-on-american-idol/412922.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-theyd-never-let-contestants-perform-on-american-idol/412922.md?page=3)