# Songs they'd NEVER let contestants perform on American Idol **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 24, 2007, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-theyd-never-let-contestants-perform-on-american-idol/412922 "2007-07-24T03:20:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2007, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-theyd-never-let-contestants-perform-on-american-idol/412922/61 "2007-07-24T16:38:15Z")
Anything from the RockyHorror Soundtrack: Touch-a-touch-a-touch me - I want to feel dirty. Make me a man The TimeWarp (its just a jump to the left) although the timewarp _should_ be used on “So you think you can dance”… ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2007, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-theyd-never-let-contestants-perform-on-american-idol/412922/62 "2007-07-24T16:38:32Z")
I thought of Darlin Niki and Sexy MF. I’d love to see Blake from last year do Sexy MF. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2007, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-theyd-never-let-contestants-perform-on-american-idol/412922/63 "2007-07-24T16:40:50Z")
And a non-Prince nom from me-- Warren Zevon’s My Shit’s Fucked Up. I hope that never makes it since I’d hate to cry while watching Idol. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2007, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-theyd-never-let-contestants-perform-on-american-idol/412922/64 "2007-07-24T17:43:07Z")
Rape Me - Nirvana Heroin Girl - Everclear Little Girls - Oingo Boingo Diana - Three Pound Thrill Squeeze Box - The Who 10 Inch Record - Aerosmith ---
**Author:** ![ENugent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/4af34b/32.png) [@ENugent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ENugent)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2007, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-theyd-never-let-contestants-perform-on-american-idol/412922/65 "2007-07-24T18:04:40Z")
“Boys Want Sex in the Morning” by Uncle Bonsai. ---
**Author:** ![NailBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecae2f/32.png) [@NailBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NailBunny)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2007, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-theyd-never-let-contestants-perform-on-american-idol/412922/66 "2007-07-24T18:16:26Z")
I’ve not watched AI in years, but I always used to hope when they’d make them pick a country song, that some young gentleman would croon the Reverend Horton Heat’s _Interracial Cowboy Love_. That would be so awesome. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2007, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-theyd-never-let-contestants-perform-on-american-idol/412922/67 "2007-07-24T19:02:44Z")
Harry Nilsson’s “You’re Breaking My Heart” Though it is the perfect American Idol song for someone who’s just been kicked off. Similarly, the Woodstock version of “The Fish Cheer” is a good one. ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2007, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-theyd-never-let-contestants-perform-on-american-idol/412922/68 "2007-07-24T19:02:45Z")
“So What” by the Anti-Nowhere-League (also covered by Metallica) ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2007, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-theyd-never-let-contestants-perform-on-american-idol/412922/69 "2007-07-24T19:06:35Z")
I’m trying to come up with a song from The Wall that wouldn’t fit in this thread, and I’m having a hard time. Don’t Leave Me Now would be a great choice. The instrumental introduction alone would chew up most of the time the contestants are given. But I’d have to pick In the Flesh. Expressing a desire to have Jews, queers, and coons shot makes for great prime time viewing. ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2007, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-theyd-never-let-contestants-perform-on-american-idol/412922/70 "2007-07-24T19:53:50Z")
Jimmy Buffett’s _The Asshole Song_. > [@](#): > > And I was talkin’ to your mother > Just the other night > I told her I thought you were an asshole > She said, “Yes, I think you’re right” > > Were you born an asshole? > Or did you work at it your whole life? > Either way it worked out fine > 'Cause you’re an asshole tonight Or maybe _The Rodeo Song_ > [@](#): > > Well it’s forty below and I don’t give a fuck > Got a heater in my truck and I’m off to the rodeo > And it’s Allemande left and Allemande right > Come on ya fuckin’ dummy get your right step right > Get off stage ya goddam goof, ya know ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2007, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-theyd-never-let-contestants-perform-on-american-idol/412922/71 "2007-07-24T20:41:49Z")
[QUOTE=tdn] The instrumental introduction alone would chew up most of the time the contestants are given. [/QUOTE] Along those lines: Innagaddadavita Light my Fire Echoes ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2007, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-theyd-never-let-contestants-perform-on-american-idol/412922/72 "2007-07-24T21:06:25Z")
“Don’t Go Home with Your Hard-On” and this one I was skeeved to hear on K-Rock, something about “if it weren’t for rape I’d never get laid”?? :eek: Perhaps it’s been mentioned; I don’t know the name. ---
**Author:** ![Taber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ac91a4/32.png) [@Taber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taber)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2007, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-theyd-never-let-contestants-perform-on-american-idol/412922/73 "2007-07-24T21:08:30Z")
Gates of Delirium, by Yes ---
**Author:** ![villa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc79bd/32.png) [@villa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/villa)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2007, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-theyd-never-let-contestants-perform-on-american-idol/412922/74 "2007-07-24T21:30:27Z")
[QUOTE=Mr. Excellent] “The Latin One”, by 10,000 Maniacs. Cheery, 80’s poppy song about the horrors of a gas attack in the trenches of WWI. Adapted from a poem by an English fellow who died in that war, if memory serves. [/QUOTE] Wilfred Owen - the poem being _Dulce et Decorum Est_. My contribution would be Toby Keith - As Good as I Once Was. A first verse about a threesome with a pair of twins, followed by a verse about brawling in a bar. Probably wouldn’t pass the purity test. ---
**Author:** ![installLSC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/54ee81/32.png) [@installLSC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/installLSC)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2007, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-theyd-never-let-contestants-perform-on-american-idol/412922/75 "2007-07-24T21:32:09Z")
**Gigi** , you’re thinking of Sublime’s “Date Rape”. Which reminds me that Sublime’s “April 24 1992” (about the Rodney King riots) would also be a great offend everyone choice. ---
**Author:** ![BMax](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bmax/32/4267_2.png) [@BMax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMax)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2007, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-theyd-never-let-contestants-perform-on-american-idol/412922/76 "2007-07-24T21:33:34Z")
Last Caress by the Misfits _I got somethign to say I killed a baby today and it doesn’t matter much to me as long as it’s dead_ next verse is about raping your mother. Good healthy Anarchy from the early 80’s ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2007, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-theyd-never-let-contestants-perform-on-american-idol/412922/77 "2007-07-24T21:47:08Z")
“Get Low” by Lil’ Jon, with the super ick factor line: “to the sweat drip down my balls” ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2007, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-theyd-never-let-contestants-perform-on-american-idol/412922/78 "2007-07-24T21:57:20Z")
[QUOTE=installLSC] **Gigi** , you’re thinking of Sublime’s “Date Rape”. Which reminds me that Sublime’s “April 24 1992” (about the Rodney King riots) would also be a great offend everyone choice. [/QUOTE] How about the one where he likes her on her knees with his hand around her neck, or something? ---
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Tan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/charlie_tan/32/12582_2.png) [@Charlie\_Tan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Tan)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2007, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-theyd-never-let-contestants-perform-on-american-idol/412922/79 "2007-07-24T23:09:10Z")
> [@Frank Zappa](#): > > Got a job doin radio promo > And none of the jocks can even tell I’m a homo > Eventually me ‘n’ a friend > Sorta drifted along into s&m > I can take about an hour on the tower of power > long as I gets a little golden shower > > Oh God I am the American dream > With a spindle up my butt till it makes me scream > An Ill do anything to get a head > I lay awake nights sayin, thank you, Fred! > Oh god, oh god, Im so fantastic! > Thanks to Freddie, Im a sexual spastic And from the same album that had Bobby Brown: > [@Sheik Yerbouti](#): > > Thats why I say > I’m gonna ram it, ram it, ram it > Ram it up yer poop chute > Corn hole > Ram it, ram it, ram it > Ram it up yer poop chute > Fist fuck > Ram it, ram it, ram it > Ram it up yer poop chute > Wrist-watch; crisco > Ram it, ram it, ram it > Ram it up yer poop chute His scatological sense of humor aside, and the multitude of crappy guitar masturbation albums he put out, Zappa was a very gifted musician. ---
**Author:** ![phungi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/phungi/32/395_2.png) [@phungi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phungi)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2007, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-theyd-never-let-contestants-perform-on-american-idol/412922/80 "2007-07-24T23:09:57Z")
a guest judge appearance by Dr. Dirty, John Valby? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-theyd-never-let-contestants-perform-on-american-idol/412922.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-theyd-never-let-contestants-perform-on-american-idol/412922.md?page=5)