# Songs to take oversized mallets to **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** music\ **Created:** [February 19, 2020, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-to-take-oversized-mallets-to/848183 "2020-02-19T17:30:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![JohnGalt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johngalt/32/184_2.png) [@JohnGalt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnGalt)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2023, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-to-take-oversized-mallets-to/848183/201 "2023-11-06T18:09:18Z")
Perhaps this would beat your version of _Funky Town_. The granddaughter is at a catholic middle school, and their last music concert had them play tunes on bells and drums, often unrecognizable. After about 30 seconds we figured out it was FT, and started laughing. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2025, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-to-take-oversized-mallets-to/848183/202 "2025-03-04T00:16:10Z")
This number needs to be brutally murdered, and then killed. It _slaughters_ you. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/t1TcDHrkQYg/maxresdefault.jpg "Alphaville - Forever Young ~Official Video") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t1TcDHrkQYg) suddenly fit to be tied now ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2025, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-to-take-oversized-mallets-to/848183/203 "2025-03-05T06:54:59Z")
> [@veryfrank](#): > > I’m thirding this. I hate the Eagles. Smug, self-serious, cocaine-fuled dreck. Yep. This is my longtime and oft-repeated rant about “Hotel California”: Here we have The Eagles…who have all the money, all the women, all the drugs and all the booze in the world at their disposal. And what do they do? They WHINE about it. Oh, poor, poor Eagles! My heart just bleeds for you. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2025, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-to-take-oversized-mallets-to/848183/204 "2025-03-05T13:55:00Z")
_Horse with No Name_ Hate it hate it hate it! ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2025, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-to-take-oversized-mallets-to/848183/205 "2025-03-05T14:08:26Z")
I’ll see you that and raise you Tin Man, which is just one trite non sequitur after another after another. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2025, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-to-take-oversized-mallets-to/848183/206 "2025-03-05T14:15:58Z")
Yeah, that’s the other one I was trying to think of. ---
**Author:** ![CaptMurdock](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/captmurdock/32/11736_2.png) [@CaptMurdock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaptMurdock)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2025, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-to-take-oversized-mallets-to/848183/207 "2025-03-06T00:55:56Z")
“…in the Tropic of Sir Galahad”??? Have some coffee with your psilocybin, already. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2025, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-to-take-oversized-mallets-to/848183/208 "2025-03-06T16:14:09Z")
> [@veryfrank](#): > > I hate the Eagles. Get out of my cab! ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2025, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-to-take-oversized-mallets-to/848183/209 "2025-03-06T19:03:44Z")
> [@CaptMurdock](#): > > “…in the Tropic of Sir Galahad”??? A discussion on African swallows would ensue in some of our minds… ---
**Author:** ![cieskokid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cieskokid/32/5374_2.png) [@cieskokid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cieskokid)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2025, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-to-take-oversized-mallets-to/848183/210 "2025-03-07T07:00:31Z")
What? Laden or unladen? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Orville\_mogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/aeb1de/32.png) [@Orville\_mogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orville_mogul)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2025, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-to-take-oversized-mallets-to/848183/211 "2025-03-07T13:01:41Z")
> [@Guest-starring\_Id](#): > > The fucking lyrics! > > Yes, I know Jon has _always_ been, from day one, an abstruse little shrub, but man those OLH lyrics… Actually most of the OoaLH lyrics were written by Trevor Rabin before Anderson even joined that version of Yes. My most hated song? Mariah Carey’s All I Want For Christmas is You. What she needs for Christmas is to be crushed by a giant block of anthracite. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2025, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-to-take-oversized-mallets-to/848183/212 "2025-05-14T00:58:22Z")
> [@Orville\_mogul](#): > > Actually most of the OoaLH lyrics were written by Trevor Rabin before Anderson even joined that version of Yes. A belated thanks for setting that straight. Will probably get flamed for this (especially for not having used that internet expression since maybe 2004), but I found David Bowie’s “Heroes” to be a totally monotonous two-note dirge. Not even Bob Fripp could save that one. ---
**Author:** ![fedman1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e495f1/32.png) [@fedman1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fedman1)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2025, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-to-take-oversized-mallets-to/848183/213 "2025-05-16T03:54:51Z")
“sailing”" and it won an award (:-{ !! ---
**Author:** ![wguy123](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wguy123/32/3161_2.png) [@wguy123](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wguy123)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2025, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-to-take-oversized-mallets-to/848183/214 "2025-05-16T17:04:58Z")
Are you talking about the textbook definition of “yacht rock” by Christopher Cross? ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2025, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-to-take-oversized-mallets-to/848183/215 "2025-05-16T17:08:09Z")
“Sailing” by Rod Stewart also is a quite awful song, though maybe not bad enough for this thread. ---
**Author:** ![fedman1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e495f1/32.png) [@fedman1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fedman1)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2025, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-to-take-oversized-mallets-to/848183/216 "2025-05-16T18:18:35Z")
yes, the ultimate Muzak to drive you crazy ---
**Author:** ![wguy123](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wguy123/32/3161_2.png) [@wguy123](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wguy123)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2025, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-to-take-oversized-mallets-to/848183/217 "2025-05-16T18:24:44Z")
Yep, take a mallet to that one. > [@EinsteinsHund](#): > > “Sailing” by Rod Stewart also is a quite awful song, though maybe not bad enough for this thread. I wasn’t aware of this one so just gave it a quick listen. Here is my emoji review: 🤮 ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2025, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-to-take-oversized-mallets-to/848183/218 "2025-05-16T18:37:00Z")
It was a big hit here and is still sometimes played on the radio. It’s one of the songs causing me to switch stations in milliseconds. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2025, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-to-take-oversized-mallets-to/848183/219 "2025-05-16T20:31:35Z")
I love these “I hate this song” threads because they’re full of music I like. Appreciate the suggestions, everyone! Now, for my contribution: The entire oeuvre of AC/DC. Just ugly-sounding shit. If I never hear “Hell’s Bells” again, _it will be too soon_. ---
**Author:** ![Disinfectus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/disinfectus/32/11085_2.png) [@Disinfectus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Disinfectus)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2025, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-to-take-oversized-mallets-to/848183/220 "2025-05-16T22:36:14Z")
I like the Eagles, whose _Greatest Hits_ album and _Hotel California_ albums hold the #5 and #6 spots on the list of all-time bestselling albums. In fact, I’m good with every one of the Top 10 albums on that list, sans one. The #3 album - _The Bodyguard_ soundtrack - is so bad that, given a choice between drowning in a bathtub and listening to that album in its entirety would be a difficult decision to make. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-to-take-oversized-mallets-to/848183.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-to-take-oversized-mallets-to/848183.md?page=12)