# Songs to take oversized mallets to **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** music\ **Created:** [February 19, 2020, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-to-take-oversized-mallets-to/848183 "2020-02-19T17:30:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![hostility](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@hostility](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hostility)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2022, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-to-take-oversized-mallets-to/848183/121 "2022-05-21T15:47:36Z")
Werewolves of London. Whenever I hear this not-so-tuneful little piece of crap squeaking its way out of speakers somewhere, I can imagine the same rage that Elvis felt when he shot his .38 into his TV back in the day. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2022, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-to-take-oversized-mallets-to/848183/122 "2022-05-21T17:54:25Z")
> [@wguy123](#): > > Sorry, I’m a fan of the pop goodness found there. Me too. It was on the radio in Boston the same time “A Long and Winding Road” (with gushy strings) was on. Now that’s a song I’d mallet any day. ---
**Author:** ![CaptMurdock](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/captmurdock/32/11736_2.png) [@CaptMurdock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaptMurdock)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2022, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-to-take-oversized-mallets-to/848183/123 "2022-05-21T19:09:29Z")
I want the asteroid that slammed into the Yucatan 65 million years ago to hit Dionne Warwick (and Friends) _That’s What Friends Are For._ A little background…in the mid-80s, I was doing pre-press production for a direct mailer – basically, a sweatshop with developer machines and X-acto knives. Due to the all-steel construction of the building, FM radio simply wasn’t an option. There were a few AM stations that had not made the transition to talk radio, but the only one we could get was yacht-rock hell. It cycled the same pap over and over again during the day. Whenever the opening harmonica of the above-mentioned piece of crap came over the speaker, the entire room groaned. If they really were Dionne Warwick’s friends, they would have convinced her to not released that stinkburger. ---
**Author:** ![wguy123](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wguy123/32/3161_2.png) [@wguy123](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wguy123)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2022, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-to-take-oversized-mallets-to/848183/124 "2022-05-22T02:35:21Z")
What the? I’m going to take the high road and suggest you enjoy every sandwich. ---
**Author:** ![JohnGalt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johngalt/32/184_2.png) [@JohnGalt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnGalt)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2022, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-to-take-oversized-mallets-to/848183/125 "2022-05-22T03:03:31Z")
It’s new, but Lady Gaga’s new song for the new _Topgun_ movie has been way overplayed already. I can’t even think of its name since I change the radio station as soon as it comes on. ---
**Author:** ![cormac262](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f14d63/32.png) [@cormac262](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cormac262)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2022, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-to-take-oversized-mallets-to/848183/126 "2022-05-24T23:33:59Z")
> [@jaycat](#): > > For my money, this is the most annoying song ever recorded. The verses are a Woody Guthrie ripoff, and the falsetto on the chorus speaks for itself (but not in a pleasing way). > > [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=\_\_7OrOxoQxI](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__7OrOxoQxI) I was familiar with Roger Daltrey’s version of this song (which I think is killer), and didn’t know anyone else ever did it. Among other changes, it’s interesting that the Pratt version is told in the first person (hence the high voice ?), but the Daltrey version is told in 3rd person: [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/Yp-fMERX67k/hqdefault.jpg "Roger Daltrey - Avenging Annie") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yp-fMERX67k) ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2022, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-to-take-oversized-mallets-to/848183/127 "2022-05-25T23:33:25Z")
> [@hostility](#): > > Werewolves of London. Love it. ---
**Author:** ![nightshadea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7ba0ec/32.png) [@nightshadea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nightshadea)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2022, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-to-take-oversized-mallets-to/848183/128 "2022-05-26T00:24:20Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > Absolutely, positively my least favourite song of all time. > > Has anyone said “We Built This City” by Starship yet? Good fucking gravy boats, that song is awful. Just hideous. The chorus says “we built this city on rock and roll” and it’s the least rock and roll song of all time. Compared to “We Built This City,” Lawrence Welk was Led Zeppelin. > > > [@racer72](#): > > > > All versions of Last Kiss, especially the Pearl Jam version. > > What kills me about the Pearl Jam version is that it was really popular even though it sounds like they recorded it only because armed gunmen were forcing them to. It is the most reluctant-sounding song ever produced. if I remember the story correctly …it wasn’t even supposed to be an officially released song … PJ has a paid membership fan club in which a perk is you get specially made for the club swag like t-shirts etc Well one Xmas they either specially made the song or just had it laying around after recording it and not using it for anything (accounts vary) Well it was sent out on a new medium the Mp3 …And apparently, someone had installed Napster which scanned your had for any mp3s and was unknowingly trading it . ---
**Author:** ![wguy123](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wguy123/32/3161_2.png) [@wguy123](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wguy123)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2022, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-to-take-oversized-mallets-to/848183/129 "2022-05-26T02:27:27Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > Love it. > [@wguy123](#): > > What the? I’m going to take the high road and suggest you enjoy every sandwich. So you agree with me? ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2022, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-to-take-oversized-mallets-to/848183/130 "2022-08-10T01:19:19Z")
::rolling up sleeves for this one:: Possibly my most hated song in the last twenty or whatever years. Don’t know the artist / title, so I’ll have to scat this: _And teeellllllllllllllllllll me_ _When we grow old togeth-uh-uh_ _I’ll be_ _The greatest_ _Down your liiiiiife…_ Buddy (vox) is doing the blue-eyed soul nonsense (which is one of the most vile aberrations in all of western 12-tone music), first belched out by David Clayton Thomas and later honed / shat on by Edward Vetter. And yikes that break / bridge / whatever: _Hopped up…_ _Coked up…_ _Fucked up…_ _Hopped up,_ _YEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHH-EAAAHHH_ (again - don’t know the lyrics, but for the purposes of this pained post - plausible) If words can even _start_ to describe the anti-paristalsis sentiment for that extended blood-gurlged “YEAH”, epitomising all that is gross and unfair in this world… And even just the idea of “growing old together” and singing about it I find stultifyingly objectionable. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2022, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-to-take-oversized-mallets-to/848183/131 "2022-08-10T01:38:51Z")
Missed edit window: ETA: Also, I’m pretty sure a grain elevator is mentioned. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2022, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-to-take-oversized-mallets-to/848183/132 "2022-08-10T04:13:59Z")
I liked that song, until I sang along and realized what it was actually about. “Say It Isn’t So” is a MUCH better song, on every level. My own personal oversized mallet song is REO Speedwagon’s “I Can’t Fight This Feeling.” UGH! ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2022, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-to-take-oversized-mallets-to/848183/133 "2022-08-11T00:23:21Z")
There must always be a face put on evil. Artist / song, please? (how can I compare it to that Hall and Oates dazzler if I don’t know what the tune is?) Yeah, that REO number makes me go “oof!” too, but hearing our dear friend Mr. Cronin simpishly cooing… _Heard it from a friend who-o-o_ X 2 _Heard it from another from another you’ve been messin’ aroooouund._ …is just plain inexcusable and I’m not standing for it. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2022, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-to-take-oversized-mallets-to/848183/134 "2022-08-14T00:48:46Z")
Whenever I’m in a public space and the speakers start blaring “Wild, wild, west…” I want to become Alan Rickman and do something diabolical. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2022, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-to-take-oversized-mallets-to/848183/135 "2022-08-27T02:15:56Z")
If someone was insane enough to tally all the bands/recording artists in this thread and then rank accordingly, I’m _prrrrrrrretty_ sure Air Supply would be the royal crowning kings. For further evidence, “Every Woman in the World”: [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/PLBL0hcY2YI/maxresdefault.jpg "Air Supply - Every Woman in The World") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PLBL0hcY2YI) _Every_ woman? That’s quite the ambitious cross-section / composite. ---
**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2022, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-to-take-oversized-mallets-to/848183/136 "2022-08-27T15:18:54Z")
I was remided of this excrement recently. [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/87ruZX5JdCk/hqdefault.jpg "Bobby Goldsboro - Summer (The First Time)") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=87ruZX5JdCk) Now. Where’s that mallet. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2022, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-to-take-oversized-mallets-to/848183/137 "2022-08-27T15:26:10Z")
From 1960, _[The Madison Time](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdNQw-e9JHQ&ab_channel=the45prof)_, by Ray Bryant Combo. The “singer” instructs the listener how to do The Madison. Was used in _Hairspray_ (1988), resulting in later popularity. Tinfoil in my teeth! Hulk SMASH! ---
**Author:** ![XOldiesJock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/ec9cab/32.png) [@XOldiesJock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XOldiesJock)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2022, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-to-take-oversized-mallets-to/848183/138 "2022-08-27T17:05:55Z")
A blogger I read every day made a comment recently about hearing “Sylvia’s Mother,” a particularly awful song by Dr. Hook & the Medicine Show that was a Top 40 hit in 1972. I played it on the radio then and mercifully never had to play it again. He joked about giving everyone familiar with the song an earworm for the day…ha ha ha. He was right. I couldn’t get it out of my mind. I finally started music playing randomly on my computer, which usually short-circuits any earworm I might have, and mercifully, it did. The song was written by Shel Silverstein, who was a prolific writer, poet, cartoonist, songwriter, playwright and media personality in the mid-to-late 20th century…like that was supposed to make it any good. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2022, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-to-take-oversized-mallets-to/848183/139 "2022-08-27T18:17:10Z")
> [@XOldiesJock](#): > > The song was written by Shel Silverstein, who was a prolific writer, poet, cartoonist, songwriter, playwright and media personality in the mid-to-late 20th century…like that was supposed to make it any good. I remember that song, and I suspect it was a parody of all those bad songs. BTW we saw an evening of Shel Silverstein short plays, excellent and definitely not for children. If someone puts them on in your area you should go. ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2022, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-to-take-oversized-mallets-to/848183/140 "2022-08-27T19:34:20Z")
> [@XOldiesJock](#): > > blogger I read every day made a comment recently about hearing “Sylvia’s Mother,” a particularly awful song by Dr. Hook & the Medicine Show that was a Top 40 hit in 1972. I played it on the radio then and mercifully never had to play it again. He joked about giving everyone familiar with the song an earworm for the day…ha ha ha. He was right. I couldn’t get it out of my mind. I finally started music playing randomly on my computer, which usually short-circuits any earworm I might have, and mercifully, it did. I find the Violent Femmes to be an antidote to any annoying earworm. Humming “Add It Up” or “Blister In The Sun” will drive out any catchy tune my brain is playing on repeat, without itself becoming an earworm. Little off-topic, but it works for me. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-to-take-oversized-mallets-to/848183.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-to-take-oversized-mallets-to/848183.md?page=8)