# Songs we sing to cats **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 19, 2003, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-we-sing-to-cats/196314 "2003-08-19T22:53:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-we-sing-to-cats/196314/21 "2003-08-20T15:57:02Z")
Oh man, we do this all the time. One is an original tune, even, with varying verses to describe whatever Cringer (cat #1) is up to. It’s way past dinner time. Starving me’s a crime! I’m Cringerrr! Mom’s giving dad some head. Hey, look! I’m on the bed! I’m Cringerrr! These blinds are fun to bat. My rhythm sure is phat! I’m Cringerrr! And lately there have been various versions of this one for Gizmo (cat #2, and one we didn’t name so we usually shorten it to Gi’m or Mo): There’s no business like Mo business Like no business, my Mo. Everything about him is appealing! Everything a kitty should allow! When my Mo starts going around meeping, There is no sleeping, He’s got to maow! ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-we-sing-to-cats/196314/22 "2003-08-20T17:18:25Z")
Damn, I think Beadalin just pulled into the lead! I also find “Rubber Duckie” an easy song to cat-adapt. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-we-sing-to-cats/196314/23 "2003-08-20T18:01:04Z")
_Catnip Dream_, by Shonen Knife, easily the hardest rockin’ drug song for cats, ever. \*He is a cat, but he’s very, very fat. He’s not just a standard cat. He is a cat but he’s still very fat, American calico caa–aat. Catnip is a kitty-cat drug; one puff, two puffs, high in a dream, funny kitty’s got very sleepy eyes, I wonder what he’s dreaming of. Catnip dree–eem, catnip dree–eem, catnip dree-eem, meow meow meow.\* And the guitar solo kicks ass. ---
**Author:** ![Boldface\_Type](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5e925/32.png) [@Boldface\_Type](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boldface_Type)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-we-sing-to-cats/196314/24 "2003-08-20T18:29:28Z")
I think that singing to cats is very silly indeed. A much better option is to persuade your cats to perform interesting musical feats themselves. For example, my cats are currently learning to miaow the Al Di Meola / Steve Vai guitar exchange from ‘Race With Devil On Turkish Highway’. They are doing quite well, though it’s quite difficult to get them to not use the wah wah effect, and the have expressed a preference to learn the Rene Thomas tune, ‘The Real Cat’, instead. ---
**Author:** ![White\_Ink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c0e974/32.png) [@White\_Ink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/White_Ink)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-we-sing-to-cats/196314/25 "2003-08-20T19:12:33Z")
You mean aside from _What’s new, Pussycat? Mee-ow-ow-ow-ow What’s new Pussycat? Mee-ow-ow-owow-ow-ow_ ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-we-sing-to-cats/196314/26 "2003-08-20T20:51:21Z")
You are my kitties, my little kitties One of you is orange, the other’s gray. You’ll never know, G’im, how much I love you Please don’t take my C-Note [Cringer] away. > [@](#): > > Damn, I think Beadalin just pulled into the lead! Sweet! ---
**Author:** ![PeppermintPatty85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d2c977/32.png) [@PeppermintPatty85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PeppermintPatty85)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-we-sing-to-cats/196314/27 "2003-08-20T22:33:48Z")
I think “[Stomp Stomp Clap]” Was maybe the funniest thing I’ve seen in a while… My sister used to rap about the neighbor’s dog, named Drake… “Drake is a dog Who poops on the ground And when he’s constipated he runs all aruond Duh duh duh DRAKE!!!” And my aunt’s dog’s name was Evelyn Rose, affectionately called Evvy Rose… So to the theme of Every Rose Has it’s Thorn by Poison, we sang "Evvy Rose Has a bone, Just likevery night Has it’s Daw-haw- haw- hawn Just like Every Cow boy Sings a sad sad song E----vvy Rose has a bone" ---
**Author:** ![Q.N.Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/3da27b/32.png) [@Q.N.Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.N.Jones)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-we-sing-to-cats/196314/28 "2003-08-20T22:34:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NoClueBoy \* > \*\*[stomp stomp clap] > [stomp stomp clap] > Kiity you’re a hard cat > yard cat > playing with your tail > gonna lick at your ass all day > you got fur on your face > you big disgrace > somebody better clean your box in my place > we will > we will > pet you \*\* God, I usually just invent dumb little non-rhyming songs with stupid little tunes I make up on the spot, but I am going to go home tonight and sing this to Rex and C.C. until they can’t stand it anymore. It’s _great_. Only I will have to change it to “kitty you’re a bad cat, fat cat” because mine are soft little indoor apartment kittens. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-we-sing-to-cats/196314/29 "2003-08-21T01:01:15Z")
Wow! Someone’s already doing a cover of my parody?! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-we-sing-to-cats/196314/30 "2003-08-21T01:15:46Z")
The only time I sing to my cat is when he tries to get out the door while I’m comming in. “Get back honky cat. Livin’ in the streets ain’t where it’s at…” ---
**Author:** ![Alma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@Alma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alma)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-we-sing-to-cats/196314/31 "2003-08-21T03:51:23Z")
Lenny lights the corners of my mind. Misty water colored Lenny… or Lenny, all alone in the cat box, He meows just to tell us He has pooped yet again ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-we-sing-to-cats/196314/32 "2003-08-21T04:20:34Z")
To the tune of _Memories_ Midnight And the kitties are sleeping All alone in the basement There are spiders down there… Saw that on Dave Letterman ages ago. He never finished it… ---
**Author:** ![Ms2001](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ms2001/32/18463_2.png) [@Ms2001](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms2001)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-we-sing-to-cats/196314/33 "2003-08-21T04:43:42Z")
(To the tune of “Daisy, Daisy”) Kitty, kitty, what a good cat are you You’re a kitty, that is so very true Oh yes, you are a kitty This song’s not very witty You’re a cat, how about that What a good cat are you! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-we-sing-to-cats/196314/34 "2003-08-21T05:03:56Z")
Noel gets the obvious, “First Noel” “Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel Here is the Kitty her name is Noel” And to White Christmas: “I’m dreaming of a White Kitty Just like the one I have at home How her eyes do glisten, And she never listens To hear, her humans tell her no.” ---
**Author:** ![hlanelee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3bc359/32.png) [@hlanelee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hlanelee)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-we-sing-to-cats/196314/35 "2003-08-21T12:07:24Z")
Once, while I was cleaning a turkey to roast, I sang the word Salmonella over and over again to my cat Mouthy to the tune of “The Hallelujah Chorus”: Saaaalmonella, salmonella, salmon-nella. He watched me intentently for a half hour. My wife was afraid to come downstairs. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-we-sing-to-cats/196314/36 "2003-08-21T12:34:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Boldface Type \* > \*\*I think that singing to cats is very silly indeed. A much better option is to persuade your cats to perform interesting musical feats themselves. For example, my cats are currently learning to miaow the Al Di Meola / Steve Vai guitar exchange from ‘Race With Devil On Turkish Highway’. They are doing quite well, though it’s quite difficult to get them to not use the wah wah effect, and the have expressed a preference to learn the Rene Thomas tune, ‘The Real Cat’, instead. \*\* Singing \*\* CATS \*\* has been done. Quite profitably, I might add. Since it’s too obvious to drag the ALW musical into this, I can only add: MEOW, MEOW, MEOW, MEOW, MEOW, MEOW, MEOW, MEOW… ---
**Author:** ![Boldface\_Type](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5e925/32.png) [@Boldface\_Type](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boldface_Type)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-we-sing-to-cats/196314/37 "2003-08-21T14:20:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Annie-Xmas \* > \*\*Singing \*\* CATS \*\* has been done. Quite profitably, I might add. > \*\* My cats don’t sing. They simulate jazz fusion guitar solos using only the power of purr. Quite different from ‘singing’, I think you’ll agree. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-we-sing-to-cats/196314/38 "2003-08-21T15:45:24Z")
I sing to my cats all the time. Here are some of the greatest hits. (to the tune of The Greatest Star of All from Sunset Blvd) Once, there was a kitten If you said knock it off! he wouldn’t listen He’d meow, beneath the doorway and he could keep it up, till he go his way. Though he’s big now he will still climb up on your shoulder and try to nurse your hair I’ve seen so many kinck-knacks fall, He is the greatest cat of all (the the tune of the chicken dance song) Hey there Tybalt kitty cat (hey there Tybalt kitty cat) You are quite fat (you are quite fat) Hey there Tybalt kitty cat (hey there Tybalt kitty cat) You take lots of naps (you take lots of naps) ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-we-sing-to-cats/196314/39 "2003-08-21T15:53:46Z")
> [@](#): > > Wow! Someone’s already doing a cover of my parody?! Sang it for my own kitties this morning!😃 ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-we-sing-to-cats/196314/40 "2003-08-21T16:30:26Z")
I am so freaking happy I’m not the only person on the planet that sings to their cats. Thought I was losing my mind for awhile. I don’t sing any particular songs. You know how when you’re little and you sort of make up songs as you go along? That’s what I do. To whatever tune happens to be in my head at the time. Apparently Elvis isn’t a huge fan of my singing though, as he tends to give me a dirty look and go back to sleep or run away. ☹ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-we-sing-to-cats/196314.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-we-sing-to-cats/196314.md?page=3)