# Songs where the object of affection is NOT attractive... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 27, 2012, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-object-of-affection-is-not-attractive/629596 "2012-07-27T19:15:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2012, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-object-of-affection-is-not-attractive/629596/61 "2012-07-30T18:06:19Z")
Please remember the board rules for quoting from works under copyright: don’t use more than five lines or one verse. Just use a verse and link to a webpage with the rest of the material. I’ve left the Shakespeare and Gilbert and Sullivan excerpts alone because those works are public domain. ---
**Author:** ![casdave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@casdave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/casdave)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2012, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-object-of-affection-is-not-attractive/629596/62 "2012-07-30T18:14:37Z")
If you want to be happy for the rest of your life (never make a pretty woman your wife) - Jimmy Soul [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/Qh9ZZgDqzAg/hqdefault.jpg "Jimmy Soul - If you wanna be happy") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qh9ZZgDqzAg) ---
**Author:** ![Imago](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/85e7bf/32.png) [@Imago](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Imago)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2012, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-object-of-affection-is-not-attractive/629596/63 "2012-07-31T00:10:42Z")
This thread is glorious. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2012, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-object-of-affection-is-not-attractive/629596/64 "2012-07-31T00:28:37Z")
_Factory Girl_ by the Stones. Besides the already mentioned Tom Lehrer song, we can add “The Wienershnitzel Waltz,” where the singer, drinking champagne from his beloved’s shoe because it took two bottles to fill the thing up. And then \*It was I who stepped on your dress. The skirts all came off, I confess. Revealing for all of the others to see Just what it was that endeared you to me. \* Presumably not the face. And perhaps _Lydia the Tattooed Lady_ from \*\* At the Circus\*\* sung by Groucho. Well, I don’t like tattoos. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2012, 9:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-object-of-affection-is-not-attractive/629596/65 "2012-07-31T09:36:37Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > And perhaps _Lydia the Tattooed Lady_ from \*\* At the Circus\*\* sung by Groucho. Well, I don’t like tattoos. Perhaps, but she had eyes that men adore so (and a torso even moreso). ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2012, 9:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-object-of-affection-is-not-attractive/629596/66 "2012-07-31T09:42:37Z")
> [@DCnDC](#): > > Queen - Fat Bottomed Girls As in many other songs about fat women, they may not be attractive to you, but they are attractive to the songwriter. Even in _La Ramona_, the woman is “so fat that when she lies down the whole village shakes”, but every second line is “Ramona, I love you” and she gets several boyfriends to choose from. ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2012, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-object-of-affection-is-not-attractive/629596/67 "2012-07-31T12:13:28Z")
Dodie Stevens’ [Pink Shoelaces](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-gFOzaSQY6Q): I’ve got a guy his name is Dooley He’s my guy and I love him truly He’s not good-looking, heaven knows But I’m wild about his crazy clothes! ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2012, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-object-of-affection-is-not-attractive/629596/68 "2012-07-31T19:56:59Z")
Richard & Mimi Farina’s [Hard Lovin Loser](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZwRyodoPV4) Hes the kind of guy puts on a motorcycle jacket And he weigh about a hundred and five He’s the kind of surfer got a ho-daddy haircut And you wonder how he’ll ever survive Apparently all this guy’s atttributes are below his waist. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2012, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-object-of-affection-is-not-attractive/629596/69 "2012-07-31T23:22:45Z")
“[Mama Looka Boo-Boo](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7K2QmrYqnw)”, Harry Belafonte ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2012, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-object-of-affection-is-not-attractive/629596/70 "2012-08-01T00:21:45Z")
[Todd Rundgren - _Does Anybody Love You?_](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPC9sbKwlzM) You’re so lovely, so wise You could make Venus crawl But love between the ugly is the most beautiful love of all ---
**Author:** ![phungi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/phungi/32/395_2.png) [@phungi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phungi)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2012, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-object-of-affection-is-not-attractive/629596/71 "2012-08-01T15:43:31Z")
Smiths’ [William it was Really Nothing](http://www.songmeanings.net/songs/view/13086/) > [@](#): > > How can you stay with a fat girl who’ll say: > "Oh! Would you like to marry me? > “And if you like you can buy the ring” > She doesn’t care about anything ---
**Author:** ![TonySinclair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/49beb7/32.png) [@TonySinclair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TonySinclair)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2012, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-object-of-affection-is-not-attractive/629596/72 "2012-08-01T15:47:51Z")
Catalina Madalina. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2012, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-object-of-affection-is-not-attractive/629596/73 "2012-08-01T19:24:03Z")
“Someone to Watch Over Me” by George & Ira Gershwin: “Although he may not be the man some girls think of as handsome, to my heart he’ll carry the key.” ---
**Author:** ![Monstera\_deliciosa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monstera_deliciosa/32/109_2.png) [@Monstera\_deliciosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstera_deliciosa)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2012, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-object-of-affection-is-not-attractive/629596/74 "2012-08-01T20:21:52Z")
The Temptations’ [Beauty is Only Skin Deep:](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PU1PEA8S6M) \*Now, you speak your words warm and sincere And let me know that your love is near. A pretty face you may not possess But what I like about you is your tenderness. \* (written by N. Whitfield and E. Holland, Jr.) ---
**Author:** ![jerseymule](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jerseymule/32/3155_2.png) [@jerseymule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jerseymule)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2012, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-object-of-affection-is-not-attractive/629596/75 "2012-08-01T21:14:51Z")
> [@DCnDC](#): > > Queen - Fat Bottomed Girls Are you implying that fat-bottomed girls are not attractive? Not talking about fat all over. But a nice booty is better than a flat butt. ---
**Author:** ![BurnMeUp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@BurnMeUp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BurnMeUp)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2012, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-object-of-affection-is-not-attractive/629596/76 "2012-08-03T23:12:24Z")
NOFX - [Hotdog Down a Hallway](http://www.elyrics.net/read/n/noFx-lyrics/hotdog-in-a-hallway-lyrics.html) "And when her flesh begins to sag/ She’s like a human sleeping bag/ I feel so cozy safe and warm/ She’s my insulation Old 97’s [TIme Bomb](http://www.metrolyrics.com/time-bomb-lyrics-old-97s.html) - I got a time bomb in my mind mom/ I got it badly for a stick legged girl ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2012, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-object-of-affection-is-not-attractive/629596/77 "2012-08-04T02:59:12Z")
[Let’s Hear It For the Boy](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NnuYhFRYbAw) by Deniece Williams. Not sure what he looked like, but he clearly had some issues. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2012, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-object-of-affection-is-not-attractive/629596/78 "2012-08-04T05:54:42Z")
_Lump_ ---
**Author:** ![NJ\_Kef](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/258eb7/32.png) [@NJ\_Kef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NJ_Kef)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2012, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-object-of-affection-is-not-attractive/629596/79 "2012-08-04T15:46:18Z")
_He’s not much for looks And no hero out of books, but he’s myyyyy man…_ **My Man** , covered by Fannie Brice, Lady Day, Streisand, Ross, Peggy Lee, and others. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2012, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-object-of-affection-is-not-attractive/629596/80 "2012-08-04T15:59:27Z")
> [@Imago](#): > > This thread is glorious. Indeed. Great stuff. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-object-of-affection-is-not-attractive/629596.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-object-of-affection-is-not-attractive/629596.md?page=5)