# Songs where the protagonist is a dick **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 28, 2018, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659 "2018-01-28T15:49:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2018, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/81 "2018-01-29T15:26:45Z")
How about [Workin’ at the Car Wash Blues](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwjn1ZHEvf3YAhWHRt8KHUPWAm4QyCkILDAA&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DWwuP7ILX32E&usg=AOvVaw1bsK7hAW-aJxqWionb6gf-), by Jim Croce? The protagonist “[J]ust got out from the county prison, doin’ ninety days for non-support”, and he kinda goes downhill from there. ---
**Author:** ![fjs1fs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9e8a1a/32.png) [@fjs1fs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fjs1fs)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2018, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/82 "2018-01-29T15:33:56Z")
> [@Lucas\_Jackson](#): > > Interesting choice. It could go either way. I’ve debated about this for years. The line about the picture that hides the stain makes me think he IS in love but trying to convince her (and himself) that he really isn’t in love though he really is. Otherwise why have a picture at all? He absolutey IS in love! ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2018, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/83 "2018-01-29T15:47:00Z")
Rocket Man by Elton John - Taken literally, the protagonist is a workaholic in the future who is off working on Mars 5 days a week. But lyrics like “high as a kite by then” and “I’m not the man they think I am at home…Rocket man! Burning out his fuse up here alone” makes me suspect that it’s more likely a metaphor for whatever drug-fueled craziness is the protagonists “life” while he’s not at home. Paradise by the Dashboard Light by Meat Loaf - Basically, some high school kid tells a girl whatever she wants to hear so he can get in her pants, (presumably) knocks her up and now he’s stuck with her. Or he’s the most stupidly honorably SOB ever. ---
**Author:** ![bordelond](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bordelond/32/150_2.png) [@bordelond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bordelond)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2018, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/84 "2018-01-29T15:47:10Z")
“All I Need is a Miracle” by Mike + The Mechanics: \*I went out my way just to hurt you The one I shouldn’t hurt at all And though I treated you like a child I’m gonna love you for the rest of my life\* Sounds like a regretful dick, at least. ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2018, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/85 "2018-01-29T16:00:46Z")
“Norwegian Wood” by the Beatles. John is a dick to a woman he meets and in the morning burns her house down. ---
**Author:** ![ekedolphin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ekedolphin/32/10003_2.png) [@ekedolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ekedolphin)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2018, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/86 "2018-01-29T16:08:54Z")
Either “A Little Less Conversation” by Elvis Presley is deliberately this, or it hasn’t aged well. “I Got a Woman” by Ray Charles is probably the latter. “She knows a woman’s place is right there now in her home” is very outdated in my opinion. ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2018, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/87 "2018-01-29T16:11:28Z")
[Second Chance](http://www.songfacts.com/detail.php?lyrics=23978) by .38 Special has always pissed me off. Sure, the singer slept with someone else but he never \*loved \*her! He never \*needed \*her! Look, she was willing and _that’s all there is to say_. Fuck off. [Lips of an Angel](https://www.google.com/search?ei=Y0VvWvPDA6jm_QaByYTgDA&q=lips+of+an+angel+lyrics&oq=lips+of+an+angel&gs_l=psy-ab.1.0.0i20i263i264k1j0j0i20i264k1j0l7.12176.14421.0.16768.16.9.0.7.7.0.113.746.7j2.9.0....0...1c.1.64.psy-ab..0.16.775...35i39k1j0i67k1j0i131k1j0i131i67k1.0.X0-DjlmuG8g) by Hinder is the conversation between two a-holes who used to date each other and are now whispering on the phone while their current partners are asleep. ---
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2018, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/88 "2018-01-29T16:20:24Z")
> [@Snowboarder\_Bo](#): > > Plenty of blues songs feature a protagonist who’s a jerk. E.g., Robert Johnson, “Me and the Devil” _Me and the devil was walkin’ side by side I’m going to beat my woman 'til I get satisfied._ Domestic abuse, Satanism, and improper pronoun syntax. Damn, that’s a dick. ---
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2018, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/89 "2018-01-29T16:27:34Z")
[Literally speaking (at least for one verse).](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djYz6p3i-t0) ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2018, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/90 "2018-01-29T16:29:02Z")
I feel like it’s a fair slam dunk on this one: [![]( " - YouTube") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_CKBltJaH4) ---
**Author:** ![Quimby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/22d042/32.png) [@Quimby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quimby)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2018, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/91 "2018-01-29T16:41:19Z")
> [@astorian](#): > > They’re both telling the truth as they see it. Even Gotyer’s character admits things weren’t working out and that they had to split. He just figured he and his ex could still have some kind of relationship. He underestimated how much he hurt her and how bitter she remained. > > There doesn’t have to be a clear good or bad guy in every song. You are correct that not every relationship has a good and bad guy but if you take the lyrics at face value an assume that she is telling the truth, I think it is fair to say the guy in the song is a dick even if he doesn’t see himself that way. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2018, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/92 "2018-01-29T16:54:25Z")
> [@BrotherCadfael](#): > > How about [Workin’ at the Car Wash Blues](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwjn1ZHEvf3YAhWHRt8KHUPWAm4QyCkILDAA&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DWwuP7ILX32E&usg=AOvVaw1bsK7hAW-aJxqWionb6gf-), by Jim Croce? > > The protagonist “[J]ust got out from the county prison, doin’ ninety days for non-support”, and he kinda goes downhill from there. Well, he’s a lifelong loafer who gets out of jail and can’t imagine why the Fortune 500 isn’t rolling out the red carpet for him! ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2018, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/93 "2018-01-29T17:16:48Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > _Hear_ it? She had to **sing harmony**! Well, Fleetwood mac is an interesting example. Buckingham and Nicks are mutually bad at this whole relationship thing. But we get so many good songs out of it that are at the core basically “fuck you” songs aimed at each other. If they ever leaned how to get along, they could be happy, but music would have suffered. At least they kept at it with each other, and saved two other people. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![squidfood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a87d85/32.png) [@squidfood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/squidfood)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2018, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/94 "2018-01-29T17:55:13Z")
> [@Superdude](#): > > “Look Out (Here Comes Tomorrow)” by The Monkees features Davy Jones being in love with two different girls, Mary and Sandra. Tomorrow is when he has to choose between them, so he wishes that tomorrow would never come. Well it doesn’t say he’s actually doing more than going on dates with them - I read that as “I need to do the right thing and get serious about one of them”. The Monkees (written by Neil Diamond) song “A little bit me, a little bit you” has one of my favorite non-apologies. He’s trying to keep a girl from walking out on him after some fight, and he sings “I’m a little bit wrong - and you’re a little bit right.” ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2018, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/95 "2018-01-29T18:28:49Z")
> [@Kamino\_Neko](#): > > I Saw Her Again was specifically inspired by Denny and Michelle’s affair. I’ve seen it theorized that John wrote the song to punish Denny by making him sing it, but since he cowrote it that doesn’t quite fit… (Of course, John might have written it himself and given Denny the credit just to punch home why, but that seems less likely.) Ignorance fought. All this time I thought Denny was singing about Cass’s unrequited love for him. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2018, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/96 "2018-01-29T18:35:06Z")
NM not funny ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2018, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/97 "2018-01-29T18:44:21Z")
[“Signs”](http://www.songfacts.com/detail.php?lyrics=1314) by the Five Man Electrical Band. Worst hippie douchness imaginable. One that really makes my skin crawl is [Suspicions](https://www.google.com/search?q=suspicions+eddie+rabbitt&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&client=firefox-b-1-ab) by Eddie Rabbitt. Read those lyrics and see if you don’t think this guy’s going to be beating his woman soon. And no doubt telling her she “made” him do it! ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2018, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/98 "2018-01-29T18:46:13Z")
> [@TreacherousCretin](#): > > My vote for the thread: **“Backstreet Girl”** by the Stones. Excellent choice, especially as it’s presented within a sweet-sounding, gentle Gallic waltz. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2018, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/99 "2018-01-29T19:02:53Z")
_Me and Mrs. Jones_ should be in the running > [@](#): > > Me and Mrs. Jones, we got a thing going on > We both know that it’s wrong > But it’s much too strong to let it go now ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2018, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/100 "2018-01-29T19:20:42Z")
The Faces- Stay With Me So in the morning, please don’t say you love me 'cause you know I’ll only kick you out the door Yeah, I’ll pay your cab fare home You can even use my best colonge Just don’t be here in the morning when I wake up [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659.md?page=6)