# Songs where the protagonist is a dick **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 28, 2018, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659 "2018-01-28T15:49:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2018, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/121 "2018-01-30T02:46:02Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > I love the Gin Blossoms and Hey Jealousy is actually my first song with my husband (basically an in-joke starting when we were 19.) But that album _New Miserable Experience_ is about the regret and shame induced by alcoholism. So in Hey Jealousy he’s showing up wasted, saying he regrets leaving her behind and indulging in the fantasy of them being together again. It’s pretty pathetic, but I think, intentionally so. The singer later committed suicide. Just a nitpick, but Robin Wilson sings it. He’s still alive. It was the songwriter/lead guitarist, Doug Hopkins, who killed himself (he had issues with depressions and alcoholism and was kicked out of the band). ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2018, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/122 "2018-01-30T14:13:25Z")
_I Hate Everyone_ by Go Set Go. I song full of bile\* for when you’re in a really foul mood. NSFW lyrics. [- YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3dY6aCUe9Y) - Like the title didn’t give you a clue or anything. ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2018, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/123 "2018-01-30T15:05:03Z")
> [@The\_King\_of\_Soup](#): > > Hell, whoever sings “Scarborough Fair,” meaning it, is an abusive, manipulative son of a cucumber. I’ve heard that song a million thymes and have never really heard the lyrics. What a strange song. But then, Paul Simon… [https://play.google.com/music/preview/T5aadz4mjodgmnghb7xhkjlbbd4?lyrics=1&utm\_source=google&utm\_medium=search&utm\_campaign=lyrics&pcampaignid=kp-lyrics](https://play.google.com/music/preview/T5aadz4mjodgmnghb7xhkjlbbd4?lyrics=1&utm_source=google&utm_medium=search&utm_campaign=lyrics&pcampaignid=kp-lyrics) ETA: I always thought it was Scarborough Affair. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2018, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/124 "2018-01-30T16:37:02Z")
> [@Lucas\_Jackson](#): > > I’ve heard that song a million thymes and have never really heard the lyrics. What a strange song. But then, Paul Simon… Well, it’s not really Paul Simon’s fault lyrically – it’s a traditional English ballad, dating back to at least the 19th century (in various forms), with the thematic idea going even farther back. ---
**Author:** ![Ferd\_Burfel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecccb3/32.png) [@Ferd\_Burfel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferd_Burfel)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2018, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/125 "2018-01-30T17:09:47Z")
How about Mac Davis’ **Baby Don’t Get Hooked On Me**? The [song](http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/mac-davis-earns-one-of-the-1970s-most-head-scratching-1-hits-with-baby-dont-get-hooked-on-me)hit #1 in 1972 with such touching lyrics as: > [@](#): > > Just keep it friendly girl > ‘Cause I don’t wanna leave > Don’t start clingin’ to me girl > 'Cause I can’t breathe ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2018, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/126 "2018-01-30T17:10:31Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > “In the darkness by the riverbed, they waited on the ground for one more member who had business back in town” but we never find out what happened to the Jack of Hearts. Rosemary, who had been “lookin’ to do just one good deed before she died,” put that penknife through Big Jim’s back, but was it before or after Big Jim ventilated the Jack of Hearts with that Colt revolver? > > Yeah, I’ve listened to that song a time or two over the past 43 years. 🙂 The revolver clicked, but did it go off? Dylan was a master at letting us fill in the blanks in his stories. I liked Senor for the same reason, we don’t know 100% of the story, and that’s fine. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2018, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/127 "2018-01-30T17:34:15Z")
> [@The\_King\_of\_Soup](#): > > Hell, whoever sings “Scarborough Fair,” meaning it, is an abusive, manipulative son of a cucumber. Manipulative, perhaps. But whoever sings it is saying, “You broke my heart, and my love is gone. If you want it back… well, then you have to do some impossible things.” ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2018, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/128 "2018-01-30T17:51:12Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > Well, it’s not really Paul Simon’s fault lyrically – it’s a traditional English ballad, dating back to at least the 19th century (in various forms), with the thematic idea going even farther back. Yep. The “Canticle” lyrics being sung “behind” the main theme are Simon’s, but they’re anti-war imagery and not what the poster was referring to. ---
**Author:** ![Dropo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce7236/32.png) [@Dropo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dropo)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2018, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/129 "2018-01-30T19:32:10Z")
Rolling Stones, “Midnight Rambler” Frank Zappa, “The Illinois Enema Bandit” ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2018, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/130 "2018-01-30T20:28:11Z")
> [@TreacherousCretin](#): > > Yep. The “Canticle” lyrics being sung “behind” the main theme are Simon’s, but they’re anti-war imagery and not what the poster was referring to. Oh, good point. Somehow, I always seem to forget about “Canticle” that is sung under it starting with the second verse. ---
**Author:** ![betterlifethroughchemistry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/betterlifethroughchemistry/32/3094_2.png) [@betterlifethroughchemistry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betterlifethroughchemistry)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2018, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/131 "2018-01-30T23:27:58Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > Steely Dan went to a similar place with “Dirty Work”. I think that was a trademark of Steely Dan…the first time I realized what “Everyone’s Gone to the Movies” was really about was, wait, is he a…? ---
**Author:** ![betterlifethroughchemistry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/betterlifethroughchemistry/32/3094_2.png) [@betterlifethroughchemistry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betterlifethroughchemistry)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2018, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/132 "2018-01-30T23:35:41Z")
> [@Dropo](#): > > Rolling Stones, “Midnight Rambler” I read somewhere that Jagger said he couldn’t or wouldn’t write the lyrics to “Brown Sugar” again…pretty nasty stuff… ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2018, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/133 "2018-01-30T23:58:27Z")
There’s also “Via Chicago” by Wilco. The first few lines are: "I dreamed about killing you again last night and it felt alright to me. Dying on the banks of Embarcodero skies I sat and watched you bleed I buried you alive in a fireworks display Raining down on me" Counting Crows have a song called “You Can’t Count on Me.” Sample lyrics: “I got you down in your knees again You watch the sky It’s a pale parade of passing clouds that cover The bed upon which we laid in the dark, and The memories that I made of a laughing girl But you’re just my toy, and I can’t stop playing with you, baby” ---
**Author:** ![The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_King_of_Soup)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/134 "2018-01-31T00:15:54Z")
> [@astorian](#): > > Manipulative, perhaps. But whoever sings it is saying, “You broke my heart, and my love is gone. If you want it back… well, then you have to do some impossible things.” Nope, no “you broke my heart” in it at all, just a old love affair that might have ended for any reason, but the singer (whoever it is–did I mention Paul Simon? Did the OP ask for singers, or songs and their protagonists?-- as I thought I made clear) is the one demanding an impossible ransom for its resurrection, which is cruel no matter who does it. The age of the song merely underscores the misogyny involved, but even in the rare female artist covers, usually singing the original version, the (female) protagonist does not come across as a nice person. ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/135 "2018-01-31T00:55:04Z")
> [@Lucas\_Jackson](#): > > I’m trying to think of others. The Wanderer? That’s the first one I thought of. At least he’s not explicitly anything more than a womanizer. The real problem is Dion’s other song, “Runaround Sue” describes _the exact same behavior_ as if it’s unforgivable cruelty. ---
**Author:** ![Capn\_Carl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/838e76/32.png) [@Capn\_Carl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capn_Carl)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/136 "2018-01-31T02:10:44Z")
> [@ZipperJJ](#): > > “Lightning Strikes” by Lou Christie > > “Under My Thumb” by the Stones > > “Escape(the pina colada song)” by Rupert Holmes In an interview, maybe 5 years ago, Keith Richards told Terry Gross that the words of Under My Thumb might be wishful thinking, sung by someone who is actually under another’s thumb. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/137 "2018-01-31T14:37:52Z")
An oldie but a goodie: [Patches](https://genius.com/Dickey-lee-patches-lyrics) by Dickie Lee. He loves a poor girl, Daddy says no, you can’gt marry her, she kills herself, and he plans to do the same. I can’t begin to tell you what’s wrong with that story. ---
**Author:** ![Corry\_El](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecae2f/32.png) [@Corry\_El](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corry_El)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/138 "2018-01-31T15:43:42Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > “I Bet My Life” by Imagine Dragons: > \* > Now remember when I told you that’s the last you’ll see of me > Remember when I broke you down to tears > I know I took the path that you would never want for me > I gave you hell through all the years\* > > But now he wants her to forgive him and take him back. But now I’ll partly contradict myself (in having said songs mean what they mean to the listener) and say that seems to me to be directed at parents by a grown up recalling his youth, and that’s what the writer says it’s about. Not to say you can’t apply it to a love affair. 🙂 Assuming it is about an adult looking back on teenage years, teenage kids are often dicks to their parents, true (IME around 2/3’s, one definitely, two partly 🙂 ). And then you do forgive them (as well as realize you made mistakes with them too). ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/139 "2018-01-31T15:51:44Z")
The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia. What a piece of work that song it. Sister kills her cheating sister in law and (one of) the SIL’s boyfriends, and lets brother get executed for it, with apparently no guilty feelings. Unless, her whole plan was to get rid of the lot of them? Then that’s even dickish-er. ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/140 "2018-01-31T16:00:17Z")
> [@garygnu](#): > > That’s the first one I thought of. At least he’s not explicitly anything more than a womanizer. The real problem is Dion’s other song, “Runaround Sue” describes _the exact same behavior_ as if it’s unforgivable cruelty. Schrodinger’s cake? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659.md?page=8)