# Songs where the protagonist is a dick **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 28, 2018, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659 "2018-01-28T15:49:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Tootingkhamen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e36b37/32.png) [@Tootingkhamen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tootingkhamen)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/141 "2018-01-31T16:20:05Z")
“I’m a dick” – The Muffs ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/142 "2018-01-31T16:21:14Z")
Nick Lowe’s\* I Trained Her to Love Me\* > [@](#): > > This one’s almost done now to watch her fall apart > I trained her to love me so I can go ahead and break her heart > > If you think that it’s depraved and I should be ashamed > So what > I’m only paying back womankind for all the grief I’ve got ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/143 "2018-01-31T16:30:01Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia. What a piece of work that song it. > > Sister kills her cheating sister in law and (one of) the SIL’s boyfriends, and lets brother get executed for it, with apparently no guilty feelings. Unless, her whole plan was to get rid of the lot of them? Then that’s even dickish-er. I think she felt intensely guilty about her brother’s death. The whole point of the song is that she was devastated by her brother being hung for her crime before she had a chance to confess. “The lights went out in Georgia” means a miscarriage of justice occurred - she deals with her grief by blaming the judge. The only reason she murdered in the first place was to (in her mind) protect her brother. It’s a very bitter song. Though I of course agree that, as a murderer, she qualifies as a dick. Also the brother was planning to kill his own friend before he found the body, so he’s a piece of work himself. ---
**Author:** ![Tzigone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/839c29/32.png) [@Tzigone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tzigone)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/144 "2018-01-31T16:53:51Z")
> [@](#): > > The whole point of the song is that she was devastated by her brother being hung for her crime before she had a chance to confess. “The lights went out in Georgia” Which brings me to how they had even a make believe trial and scheduled an execution before she could confess (it only takes a second to yell “I did it”). Or why the lights were going out if he was hanged - I’ve always heard that phrase associated with electric chairs. Still like the song, though. ---
**Author:** ![zimaane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a3d4f5/32.png) [@zimaane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zimaane)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/145 "2018-01-31T19:42:55Z")
Folsom Prison Blues, of course - the singer shot a man just to watch him die. Great song though Jumpin’ Destiny’s Child - the singer is imploring her friends to infidelity because there are wealthy men and attractive women available at the club. [http://www.metrolyrics.com/jumpin-lyrics-destinys-child.html](http://www.metrolyrics.com/jumpin-lyrics-destinys-child.html) ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/146 "2018-01-31T19:59:21Z")
> [@Corry\_El](#): > > But now I’ll partly contradict myself (in having said songs mean what they mean to the listener) and say that seems to me to be directed at parents by a grown up recalling his youth, and that’s what the writer says it’s about. Not to say you can’t apply it to a love affair. 🙂 > > Assuming it is about an adult looking back on teenage years, teenage kids are often dicks to their parents, true (IME around 2/3’s, one definitely, two partly 🙂 ). And then you do forgive them (as well as realize you made mistakes with them too). Like you say, that’s what the writer says it’s about (though I’m just now finding this out, thanks to your post). Gotta say though, the song’s really lacking in clues to suggest that it’s about anything besides a romantic relationship. ---
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/147 "2018-01-31T20:01:21Z")
The Waitresses’ “I Know What Boys Like”. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/148 "2018-01-31T20:31:07Z")
> [@zimaane](#): > > Folsom Prison Blues, of course - the singer shot a man just to watch him die. Great song though > > Jumpin’ Destiny’s Child - the singer is imploring her friends to infidelity because there are wealthy men and attractive women available at the club. > > [http://www.metrolyrics.com/jumpin-lyrics-destinys-child.html](http://www.metrolyrics.com/jumpin-lyrics-destinys-child.html) I always interpreted that song differently. Not imploring anyone to infidelity but more, ‘‘there’s nothing wrong with going out and dancing with a hot guy/girl.’’ Whether that’s true or not is another matter entirely, but I don’t think the implication there is having an affair. This would be consistent with future songs like “Telephone” in which it’s clear Beyonce just wants to dance and have a good time and not have to worry about her boo nagging her. You could counterargue with my own example of ‘‘Confessions’’, I suppose. I’ll nominate Pulp, for, well, most of their songs, but _Babies_ comes to mind, which is about a guy jumping in the wardrobe of his girlfriend’s sister and watching her have sex with her boyfriend. And eventually he ends up getting caught in the wardrobe and having sex with the sister. When he is caught by his girlfriend, he delivers the explanatory line: > [@](#): > > _I only went with her 'cause she looks like you._ (I think the best interpretation of this is that he dated his girlfriend only to be closer to her sister, but it’s ambiguous.) Or Pencil Skirt > [@](#): > > _I’ll be around when he’s not in town > Oh, yeah, I’ll show you how you’re doing it wrong > Oh, I really love it when you tell me to stop, oh-oh > Oh, it’s turning me on_ Pulp has a lot of pervy lounge-style songs of morally questionable integrity, and I kinda dig it, but there’s no question the protagonist is a cad. It’s like sleaze as performance art. ---
**Author:** ![dzeiger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/46a35a/32.png) [@dzeiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dzeiger)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/149 "2018-01-31T20:43:52Z")
Bloodhound Gang’s _A Lapdance Is So Much Better when the Stripper is Crying_ is possibly too obvious for this thread… ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/150 "2018-01-31T21:24:31Z")
One of my favorites: “Hats Off To Larry” by Del Shannon. The gist: his girl broke his heart and left him for Larry. Now, Larry has done the same to her, and the song is basically gloating that she got the same treatment. The entire song is less than 2 minutes long, which makes it tough to pull out just a few lyrics and really get the picture. I know that we shouldn’t post complete lyrics, but this song is so short, hopefully it can be an exception. Here they are in full: > [@](#): > > Once I had a pretty girl > Her name it doesn’t matter > She went away with another guy > Now he won’t even look at her > > Hats off to Larry, he broke your heart > Just like you broke mine when you said we must part > He told you lies, now it’s your turn to cry cry cry > Now that Larry said goodbye to you > > I know this may sound strange > I want you back, I think you’ll change > But there’s one more thing I gotta say > > Hats off to Larry, it may sound cruel > But you laughed at me when you said we were through > You told me lies now it’s your turn to cry cry cry > Now that Larry said goodbye to you. So really, they’re all dicks. ---
**Author:** ![ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chockfullofheadygoodness/32/511_2.png) [@ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/151 "2018-01-31T21:48:55Z")
Figuratively: **Liar** - _Rollins Band_ > [@](#): > > I can’t believe I ever hurt you > I swear I will never to you lie again, please > just give me one more chance > I will never lie to you again > I swear that I will never tell a lie > I will never tell a lie > > ha ha ha ha ha hah haa haa haa haaa > sucker > sucker! > oh, sucker > I am a liar Literally: **If Stuart Could Talk** - _The Dickies_ especially the final verse - always performed live with a phallic puppet > [@](#): > > Something further I must mention > Of this fact I cannot understand > Is your insatiable attention at annoying me with your hand > And in closing may I offer this point must be succint > My purpose is for procreation > And not facilitating in your sin ---
**Author:** ![moojja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e5b9ba/32.png) [@moojja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moojja)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/152 "2018-01-31T22:43:14Z")
> [@Tzigone](#): > > Which brings me to how they had even a make believe trial and scheduled an execution before she could confess (it only takes a second to yell “I did it”). Or why the lights were going out if he was hanged - I’ve always heard that phrase associated with electric chairs. Still like the song, though. Didn’t the song implied that it was a really short trial/execution, i.e. the whole thing was over and done within a few days? Hence the make believe trial. The little sister might have been hiding out and just not heard until afterwards. I’ve always heard “That’s the night that the lights went out in Georgia” as a metaphor. ---
**Author:** ![ekedolphin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ekedolphin/32/10003_2.png) [@ekedolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ekedolphin)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2018, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/153 "2018-01-31T23:15:06Z")
Of course, there’s Denis Leary in “Asshole”: I use public toilets and I piss on the seats I walk around in the summertime saying “How about this heat?” Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces While handicapped people make handicapped faces ---
**Author:** ![Noel\_Prosequi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b19c9b/32.png) [@Noel\_Prosequi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noel_Prosequi)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2018, 10:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/154 "2018-02-01T10:48:08Z")
Kentucky Rain, sung by Elvis. Musically great song. But dick protagonist. Interestingly, the song was co-written by Eddie Rabbit, mentioned above. Protagonist wakes up to “reach out for” his wife, but she is gone. So obviously she has fled in secret in the dead of night. But protagonist sets on whiny, self-pitying stalking expedition. Because he feels entitled to an explanation. In other words, just like every other stalker who doesn’t accept that a woman has the right to leave him, he just “wants to talk”. Part of the bizarre history of cultural confusion between dysfunctional and misogynistic on the one hand vs romantic on the other. ---
**Author:** ![TheMightyFro](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/themightyfro/32/20081_2.png) [@TheMightyFro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheMightyFro)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2018, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/155 "2018-02-01T12:52:39Z")
Literally any song by Wheeler Walker Jr. Good tunes though. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2018, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/156 "2018-02-01T15:28:10Z")
> [@Noel\_Prosequi](#): > > Kentucky Rain, sung by Elvis. Musically great song. But dick protagonist. Interestingly, the song was co-written by Eddie Rabbit, mentioned above. > > Protagonist wakes up to “reach out for” his wife, but she is gone. So obviously she has fled in secret in the dead of night. > > But protagonist sets on whiny, self-pitying stalking expedition. Because he feels entitled to an explanation. In other words, just like every other stalker who doesn’t accept that a woman has the right to leave him, he just “wants to talk”. Bwuh? A guy’s _wife_ disappears and you think it’s stalkerish of him to want to find out why? ---
**Author:** ![Noel\_Prosequi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b19c9b/32.png) [@Noel\_Prosequi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noel_Prosequi)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2018, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/157 "2018-02-02T23:54:38Z")
Sure. Song doesn’t say specifically it’s his wife. It’s apparent she’s left him (“Don’t know why you’d run, what you’re running to or from”). All he wants is to “bring her home”. Her wishes on the subject don’t seem to enter into consideration. So he goes on an apparently directionless expedition to find her, in which maudlin self-pity and self-martyrdom are the key themes. He doesn’t seem capable of reflecting on any backstory of their relationship that might prompt her to bolt. Seems stalkerish to me. YM obviously Vs. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/158 "2018-02-03T15:24:52Z")
Don McLean’s Empty Chairs: And I wonder if you know That I never understood That although you said you’d go Until you did, I never thought you would Never thought the words you said were true Never thought you said just what you meant Never knew how much I needed you Never thought you’d leave, until you went If that ain’t a dick, what is? ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/159 "2018-02-03T18:44:40Z")
The guy singing the song in America’s _Sister Golden Hair_ is definitely a dick. He doesn’t want to commit but he wants the woman’s companionship. _I ain’t ready for the altar But I do agree there’s times When a woman sure can be a friend of mine._ ---
**Author:** ![koeeoaddi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/koeeoaddi/32/408_2.png) [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659/160 "2018-02-03T19:19:18Z")
**Creeps Like Me** , by Lyle Lovett \*And I knew this pretty girl once She was eighteen… Maybe What’s a year or two And one day when she asked me If I loved her I said baby What’s it worth to you But look around And you will see This world is full of creeps like me You look surpised You shouldn’t be This world is full of creeps like me\* [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-where-the-protagonist-is-a-dick/807659.md?page=9)