# Songs with internally contradictory lyrics **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 4, 2011, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-with-internally-contradictory-lyrics/591408 "2011-08-04T02:10:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2011, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-with-internally-contradictory-lyrics/591408/41 "2011-08-05T14:42:58Z")
Not sure this really fits ( **jehan** nailed the one that always jumps out at me) but: Styx – Too Much Time on My Hands > [@](#): > > I’m so tired of losin’, I’ve got nothing to do > And all day to do it > So, I go out cruisin’, but I’ve no place to go > And all night to get there > Is it any wonder I’m not a criminal? > Is it any wonder I’m not in jail? Wouldn’t it make more sense if you _were_ a criminal? If you _were_ in jail? I’ve never heard anyone claim that having too much free time kept them _out_ of trouble. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2011, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-with-internally-contradictory-lyrics/591408/42 "2011-08-05T15:20:04Z")
There’s a song called _I’m a Jewish Nazi_ that’s full of these, but damn if I can find the lyrics. So I’ll go with _Tennessee Waltz_. I was dancin’ with my darlin’ To the Tennessee Waltz So you were – in the past – dancing to a song that you’re just now writing? ---
**Author:** ![42fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/4/b487fb/32.png) [@42fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/42fish)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2011, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-with-internally-contradictory-lyrics/591408/43 "2011-08-05T18:04:24Z")
> [@Randy\_Seltzer](#): > > But I think my favorite one is from the Disney movie The Little Mermaid. In a reprise of “Part of Your World” Ariel sings “I don’t know when / I don’t know how / But I know something’s starting right now!” I like it because it’s so immediately contradictory. > > What else? Along the same lines, the opening of Lee Michaels’ “Do You Know What I Mean”: “Been forty days since I don’t know when.” Here’s a hint Lee: ‘when’ was 40 days ago. ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2011, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-with-internally-contradictory-lyrics/591408/44 "2011-08-08T16:01:54Z")
Just heard one this weekend that reminded me of this thread. It’s a bit obscure, but the song is “Come On Joe” by the great Cajun/Country singer Jo-El Sonnier. It begins: _It’s a long hot night The stars are shinin’ kinda extra-bright…_ But the chorus goes: _It’s muggy in the shack And the back woods are black 'Cause the clouds hid the moon away…_ But the clouds couldn’t hide those extra-bright stars, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-with-internally-contradictory-lyrics/591408/45 "2011-09-07T17:54:29Z")
The Billy Joel threads made me think of another one: [Just the Way You Are](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfoNGekrv3I&feature=related) - Billy Joel _I don’t want clever conversation I never want to work that hard I just want someone that I can talk to…_ OK, hold it right there. You say you don’t want clever conversation, but you _do_ want someone you can talk to? So you want what…stupid conversation? OK, maybe not necessarily contradictory, but it sure sets the bar low. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-with-internally-contradictory-lyrics/591408/46 "2011-09-07T18:05:20Z")
> [@Spoke](#): > > _I don’t want clever conversation > I never want to work that hard > I just want someone that I can talk to…_ > > OK, hold it right there. You say you don’t want clever conversation, but you _do_ want someone you can talk to? So you want what…stupid conversation? > > OK, maybe not necessarily contradictory, but it sure sets the bar low. How about words that are from the heart, rather than, say, adroit cocktail party chatter? That’s what I always figured Billy meant, at least. ---
**Author:** ![cjepson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@cjepson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cjepson)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-with-internally-contradictory-lyrics/591408/47 "2011-09-07T18:56:23Z")
In the Kinks’ “Alcohol”, Ray sings about “sad memories I can’t recall”, but it’s pretty clear that he’s being intentionally ironic or something. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-with-internally-contradictory-lyrics/591408/48 "2011-09-07T19:49:30Z")
The _Friends_ theme song starts with “No-one told you life was going to be this way…” but a later line in the extended-version’s second verse declares: “Your mother warned you there’d be days like these…” ---
**Author:** ![Bakhesh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Bakhesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bakhesh)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-with-internally-contradictory-lyrics/591408/49 "2011-09-07T22:52:07Z")
In "Leaves that are Green by Simon and Garfunkel, they sing “i was 21 years when I wrote this song. I’m 22 now, but I won’t be for long”. But, you must have sung that line while you were writing it, and you weren’t 22 then. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-with-internally-contradictory-lyrics/591408/50 "2011-09-07T22:52:40Z")
_I’d rather rip out my intestines with a fork Than watch you going out with other men_ And later: _I’d rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue Than spend one more minute with you_ Hey, Weird Al, you’re not being real clear here about where this girl should be, or just how far away from you you want her to stay. Maybe you should just get a restraining order and let it go at that… ---
**Author:** ![carlb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carlb/32/5930_2.png) [@carlb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carlb)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-with-internally-contradictory-lyrics/591408/51 "2011-09-07T23:18:30Z")
The ones that annoy me the most are songs that are internally inconsistent (which creates contradiction) with the object of the song. The one that leaps most immediately to mind is Cee-Lo’s “Fuck You.” The song bounces back and forth between being directed at the girl who left him and the guy she’s with now. The chorus begins directed at the guy: > [@](#): > > I see you drivin’ 'round town with the girl I love > and I’m like, “Fuck you.” > I guess the change in my pocket wasn’t enough > and I’m like “Fuck you and fuck her too.” but then immediately transitions to being directed at the girl: > [@](#): > > I said if I was richer, > I’d still be with ya. and then goes ambiguous by ending: > [@](#): > > And although there’s pain in my chest > I still wish you the best > with a “Fuck you.” In fairness, the verses are all directed at the girl. It’s a damn catchy song, and I really like it, but I find the changes in perspective jarring. I know there are other songs out there that do that, but this is the only one immediately coming to mind. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-with-internally-contradictory-lyrics/591408/52 "2011-09-07T23:44:39Z")
“Date Rape” by Sublime, which starts the first vere with; - Lemme tell you 'bout a girl I know Had a drink about an hour ago \* And the second with; \*The next morning she went to the phone And called her local attorney at law \* Either Brad Nowell is confused about how long ago she had a drink, or he can see the future. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-with-internally-contradictory-lyrics/591408.md?page=2)