# Sooo, anyone want to read some real bad news? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 23, 2006, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sooo-anyone-want-to-read-some-real-bad-news/341204 "2006-01-23T03:49:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![teemingONE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b4bc9f/32.png) [@teemingONE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teemingONE)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sooo-anyone-want-to-read-some-real-bad-news/341204/1 "2006-01-23T03:49:51Z")
My little sister is pregnant. 15 years old. Freshman in high school. Parents are devastated, obviously. I can’t believe it. I really want to just wake up. It really can’t be happening. She’s not going to keep it, but just the fact that it happened. I read about it all the time and it feels so far away. And it happens to my little sister. This is life changing stuff. This is grown-up problems. I haven’t talked to her and I don’t really want to. I very disappointed in her. I don’t think I’m looking for advice or anything. I figure I’m eventually going to speak to her, but I don’t really know what to say. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sooo-anyone-want-to-read-some-real-bad-news/341204/2 "2006-01-23T03:53:31Z")
Whoa. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sooo-anyone-want-to-read-some-real-bad-news/341204/3 "2006-01-23T03:54:47Z")
Dude. You have my empathy here. Hang on…you will all make it through this. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sooo-anyone-want-to-read-some-real-bad-news/341204/4 "2006-01-23T03:55:03Z")
> [@teemingONE](#): > > I very disappointed in her. Well, you can be. But honestly? Disappointment isn’t going to make anyone feel better. And accidents happen to the best and most responsible of us. 15 yo makes mistake. News at 11. Best wishes for your sister and your family. ---
**Author:** ![teemingONE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b4bc9f/32.png) [@teemingONE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teemingONE)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sooo-anyone-want-to-read-some-real-bad-news/341204/5 "2006-01-23T04:08:19Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > Well, you can be. But honestly? Disappointment isn’t going to make anyone feel better. And accidents happen to the best and most responsible of us. 15 yo makes mistake. News at 11. > > Best wishes for your sister and your family. That’s very true. But she’s my little sister, you know? I didn’t think she’d let this happen to her. I thought she’d be smarter. I can’t really judge, I guess. But she’s my little sister. Just learned that she might have to keep it. ---
**Author:** ![Booker57](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Booker57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Booker57)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sooo-anyone-want-to-read-some-real-bad-news/341204/6 "2006-01-23T04:22:33Z")
> [@teemingONE](#): > > Just learned that she might have to keep it. Why? Do you mean she may have to carry it to term, or have to take it home from the hospital? What does the father and his parents have to say about this? Hugs all around and a big glass of OJ for your sister. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sooo-anyone-want-to-read-some-real-bad-news/341204/7 "2006-01-23T04:30:11Z")
That’s disheartening news. It’s also why, if I had a girl, I’d hand out the birth control pill along with her cereal every morning, starting at age 12. You just never know. Your family will get through this. It’s my hope that it’s very soon that it’s resolved, and the healing can begin all around. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sooo-anyone-want-to-read-some-real-bad-news/341204/8 "2006-01-23T04:35:56Z")
**teemingONE** , don’t be too hard on your sister, especially if you don’t have all the info. Sometimes, even if you’re careful, accidents happen. And sometimes, especially if you’re fifteen, you forget to be careful. I hope that everything works out for the best, for your sister and everyone else involved. ---
**Author:** ![Corii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/aeb1de/32.png) [@Corii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corii)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sooo-anyone-want-to-read-some-real-bad-news/341204/9 "2006-01-23T04:43:16Z")
> [@teemingONE](#): > > My little sister is pregnant. 15 years old. Freshman in high school. Parents are devastated, obviously. I can’t believe it. I really want to just wake up. It really can’t be happening. She’s not going to keep it, but just the fact that it happened. I read about it all the time and it feels so far away. And it happens to my little sister. This is life changing stuff. This is grown-up problems. I haven’t talked to her and I don’t really want to. I very disappointed in her. > > I don’t think I’m looking for advice or anything. I figure I’m eventually going to speak to her, but I don’t really know what to say. Wow, my sympathies to all of you, that is really rough. Even the smartest teenagers make stupid decisions, it’s an unfortunate part of growing up and learning from one’s mistakes. I hope that things work out for the best, and good luck to you all in dealing with this. ---
**Author:** ![teemingONE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b4bc9f/32.png) [@teemingONE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teemingONE)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sooo-anyone-want-to-read-some-real-bad-news/341204/10 "2006-01-23T04:47:04Z")
> [@Booker57](#): > > Why? > Do you mean she may have to carry it to term, or have to take it home from the hospital? > > What does the father and his parents have to say about this? > Hugs all around and a big glass of OJ for your sister. She’s already 2 months pregnant, just told us now because she was scared. She’s going to get checked out as soon as possible. My dad stated that she might have to keep it but I think he is just assuming that she will because she is 15 and already 2 months pregnant. I’m not too well informed on abortions so I’m not sure if she’s going to be able to have one. Any info on this subject will be more then appreciated. I don’t think he knows she is pregnant. Given that it’s two months in, he must be very very scared. ---
**Author:** ![Suburban\_Plankton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suburban_plankton/32/219_2.png) [@Suburban\_Plankton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suburban_Plankton)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sooo-anyone-want-to-read-some-real-bad-news/341204/11 "2006-01-23T04:49:42Z")
> [@teemingONE](#): > > Just learned that she might have to keep it. This statement disturbs me. It implies that a) someone other than your sister is making the decision on this, and b) than “not keeping it” would necessarily be the preferred choice I am 38, and male, so I’ll admit right off the bat that I have absolutely no idea what it’s like to be 15 and pregnant. **teemingONE** , I don’t know if you are male or female, so I don’t know whether you have any more clue than I do. But it seems to me that what your sister needs right now is lots of \*help \*determining how to deal with the situation, not lots of other people \*telling \*her what to do. There are a number of options (three, at least), and probably no reason to make a hasty decision. Also, don’t forget that there is a father involved in this, and he (and perhaps his family) have a right to be consulted in this as well. This is not Great Debates, so I will refrain from offering any “advice”, other than everyone should stop, take a breath, and not make any decisions without giving a fair amount of consideration to the matter. It looks like she’s already gone from “not going to keep it” to “might have to keep it”; this cycle may repeat several more times before she comes to the “right” decision. Or there may be no “right” decision. OK, I will offer some advice. On the subject of “what to say to her”; just say that you love her. You obviously do, or you wouldn’t be bothered enough to have posted this. Just tell her, and leave it at that. She doesn’t need your advice (she’s getting plenty of that from everyone), she doesn’t need your sympathy (unless you’ve been in her position, you can’t imagine how she feels), and she certainly doesn’t need your scorn. You don’t need to tell her that “everything is going to be all right”, because she knows it isn’t. Just tell you that you love her, and that you will be there for her. Good luck to all of you. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sooo-anyone-want-to-read-some-real-bad-news/341204/12 "2006-01-23T04:51:48Z")
I believe it varys by state, but up to 16 weeks shouldn’t be a problem. Planned Parenthood would be a great place to talk to someone and discuss her options, all of them. Probably not the kind of thing you’d want your brother there for, but you could spend some quality time with her afterwards and let her know that you support her. ---
**Author:** ![teemingONE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b4bc9f/32.png) [@teemingONE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teemingONE)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sooo-anyone-want-to-read-some-real-bad-news/341204/13 "2006-01-23T05:07:10Z")
> [@trublmakr](#): > > I believe it varys by state, but up to 16 weeks shouldn’t be a problem. Planned Parenthood would be a great place to talk to someone and discuss her options, all of them. > > Probably not the kind of thing you’d want your brother there for, but you could spend some quality time with her afterwards and let her know that you support her. Thank you for the info. **Suburban Plankton** , that statement was made because my dad believes that she might have to for health reasons. She doesn’t want to keep it and my parents aren’t going to make her. If she is able to get an abortion, then she will probably get one because she wants one. This is all so much. It hit me but it still hasn’t sunk in. I keep waiting to wake up or for it all to be a big NOT FUNNY joke. It’s really, really too much. ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sooo-anyone-want-to-read-some-real-bad-news/341204/14 "2006-01-23T07:05:23Z")
What grade are you in? ---
**Author:** ![teemingONE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b4bc9f/32.png) [@teemingONE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teemingONE)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sooo-anyone-want-to-read-some-real-bad-news/341204/15 "2006-01-23T08:10:25Z")
I’m only 19, freshman in college, second semester ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sooo-anyone-want-to-read-some-real-bad-news/341204/16 "2006-01-23T11:46:02Z")
**teemingONE** - don’t be too hard on your sister. These things happen. I know of a couple, a doctor and a high-powered lawyer in their forties who had two “accidents” within three years. It happens to lots and lots of people, no matter how smart and careful they are. Your sister needs medical advice ASAP. IANAD, but, in general, a first trimester (before 12 weeks) termination is safer for the mother than carrying a pregnancy to term. There are very, very few medical, surgical or psychological conditions were carrying a baby to term is safer than an early termination. Two months is still early (remember, most women don’t know that they are pregnant until 6 weeks). Focus on how strong and together your sister needs to be to get through this, and help her in anyway you can. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sooo-anyone-want-to-read-some-real-bad-news/341204/17 "2006-01-23T13:23:01Z")
teeming, this falls under the “shit happens” umbrella. and yes, things happen when unforseen even to your closest family, and maybe she was smart about it, maybe she was being unsafe, but i think you’ve got to realize that she’s going to learn a lot from this. a whole lot. granted, it’s not the most exciting way to learn about these types of matters, but if she’s got a level head on her shoulders, she probably won’t make the same mistake again. i mean, if you feel in a daze about the entire thing, imagine how she feels. just support her, even if it’s hard to in the beginning. make sure to put your issues aside for her good. bah, i’d write more…but i’ve got class ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sooo-anyone-want-to-read-some-real-bad-news/341204/18 "2006-01-23T14:04:13Z")
Planned Parenthood ought to be able to help out with an abortion, but she has to move on it soon. A few months ago, I had a pregnancy scare, and, due to menopause issues, thought I might be as much as two and a half months pregnant. I was checking into things then. Thank goodness it was a false alarm, but I would have easily been able to obtain an abortion here in the state of Maryland if I _had_ been pregnant. On another note, my thoughts will be with you and your family. This is a difficult situation. But I’ll throw in with others who say not to judge your sister too harshly. Right now, she needs your love and support more than she needs your judgment. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sooo-anyone-want-to-read-some-real-bad-news/341204/19 "2006-01-23T14:37:26Z")
‘This happens to other people’ is an idea that is false, but it sucks when you learn that lesson. You don’t have to talk to your sister, but you should be there for her and support her. I hope that your sister will be more careful in the future. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sooo-anyone-want-to-read-some-real-bad-news/341204/20 "2006-01-23T14:44:18Z")
Keep in mind that people twice her age have accidents with birth control, and/or have sex at times or situations when it’s not advisable to do so. I think the best way to be a good ally and a good brother is to tell her you’ll do whatever you can to help make sure that what _she_ wants is what determines the course of action. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sooo-anyone-want-to-read-some-real-bad-news/341204.md?page=2)