# Sorority girl's warning letter to sisters goes viral - It's epic **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 19, 2013, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorority-girls-warning-letter-to-sisters-goes-viral-its-epic/656104 "2013-04-19T04:26:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorority-girls-warning-letter-to-sisters-goes-viral-its-epic/656104/1 "2013-04-19T04:26:17Z")
[This woman will either be in jail or running a major corporation the future](http://gawker.com/5994974/the-most-deranged-sorority-girl-email-you-will-ever-read?tag=life-lessons). I’ll give it a golf clap just for the nuclear heat and creativity. What actress could read this letter and do it justice? ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorority-girls-warning-letter-to-sisters-goes-viral-its-epic/656104/2 "2013-04-19T04:33:31Z")
This is my favorite line > [@](#): > > Newsflash you stupid cocks: FRATS DON’T LIKE BORING SORORITIES. Oh wait, DOUBLE FUCKING NEWSFLASH: **SIGMA NU IS NOT GOING TO WANT TO HANG OUT WITH US IF WE FUCKING SUCK** I beg to differ, I think that is exactly the way to get them to hang out with you..wink wink, nudge nudge 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorority-girls-warning-letter-to-sisters-goes-viral-its-epic/656104/3 "2013-04-19T04:37:08Z")
Should I \*not \*have a boner after reading that? ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorority-girls-warning-letter-to-sisters-goes-viral-its-epic/656104/4 "2013-04-19T04:37:35Z")
I like her. Too bad she’s stuck in such a lame sorority. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorority-girls-warning-letter-to-sisters-goes-viral-its-epic/656104/5 "2013-04-19T05:09:44Z")
I kind of picture her as hyperventilating and having visibly throbbing veins across her temples while she wrote that. And probably spraying a fair amount of spittle across the monitor. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorority-girls-warning-letter-to-sisters-goes-viral-its-epic/656104/6 "2013-04-19T05:13:28Z")
Looks like somebody saw _Glengarry Glen Ross_ for the first time this week. ---
**Author:** ![koeeoaddi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/koeeoaddi/32/408_2.png) [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorority-girls-warning-letter-to-sisters-goes-viral-its-epic/656104/7 "2013-04-19T05:24:25Z")
> [@astro](#): > > [URL=“[http://gawker.com/5994974/the-most-deranged-sorority-girl-email-you-will-ever-read?tag=life-lessons](http://gawker.com/5994974/the-most-deranged-sorority-girl-email-you-will-ever-read?tag=life-lessons)”]What actress could read this letter and do it justice? Joe Pesci would work for me. ---
**Author:** ![Valgard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/7feea3/32.png) [@Valgard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valgard)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorority-girls-warning-letter-to-sisters-goes-viral-its-epic/656104/8 "2013-04-19T06:42:38Z")
> [@astro](#): > > What actress could read this letter and do it justice? Margaret Cho Sarah Silverman Betty White 😃 ---
**Author:** ![markdash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@markdash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markdash)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorority-girls-warning-letter-to-sisters-goes-viral-its-epic/656104/9 "2013-04-19T06:43:48Z")
I saw someone suggest Parker Posey. ---
**Author:** ![Gestalt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/90ced4/32.png) [@Gestalt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gestalt)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorority-girls-warning-letter-to-sisters-goes-viral-its-epic/656104/10 "2013-04-19T07:26:50Z")
Here are some shots of her twitter; she’s a lot less likeable after you read them: [Imgur: The magic of the Internet](http://imgur.com/a/bAJhA) BTW, I got that website from the comments on the site linked in the OP . . . so I don’t have any proof that it’s her ---
**Author:** ![Hippy\_Hollow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hippy_hollow/32/4841_2.png) [@Hippy\_Hollow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hippy_Hollow)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 9:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorority-girls-warning-letter-to-sisters-goes-viral-its-epic/656104/11 "2013-04-19T09:08:55Z")
> [@Gestalt](#): > > Here are some shots of her twitter; she’s a lot less likeable after you read them: [Imgur: The magic of the Internet](http://imgur.com/a/bAJhA) > > BTW, I got that website from the comments on the site linked in the OP . . . so I don’t have any proof that it’s her Jezebel has confirmed it’s her. It’s a shame she’s also a little racist and classist, because I thought it was an inspired rant. I think she really would cunt punt one of her sisters. ---
**Author:** ![stui\_magpie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stui_magpie/32/11010_2.png) [@stui\_magpie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stui_magpie)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 10:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorority-girls-warning-letter-to-sisters-goes-viral-its-epic/656104/12 "2013-04-19T10:36:39Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > I kind of picture her as hyperventilating and having visibly throbbing veins across her temples while she wrote that. And probably spraying a fair amount of spittle across the monitor. I pictured lots of hair flicking, genuine angst at how some people couldn’t see the universal truths she was writing about, and scenes from “Legally Blonde” ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorority-girls-warning-letter-to-sisters-goes-viral-its-epic/656104/13 "2013-04-19T10:39:33Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Looks like somebody saw _Glengarry Glen Ross_ for the first time this week. Jello shots are for closers. This comment below the article is absolute gold: > [@](#): > > Being cunt punted is serious business. It was during freshman year of high school when a girl named Susie Reynolds was cunt punted by her rival Elisa Torres. The rivalry went back years when Elisa’s and Susie’s sisters had a falling out. Ever since the two families had been going at it. Susie was head cheerleader and Elisa was captain of the softball team. Elisa had wanted to be a cheerleader since she was 5, but since Susie and her sisters were cheerleaders, her family enrolled her into sports. > > The cunt punting incident happened during 1st period when Susie made fun of Elisa’s socks. Sure they weren’t the same color, but it was like a dagger to the heart for Elisa. Elisa, being the athlete that she was forced to become, jumped on Susie like a fat kid to a milkshake. > > And it was off and popping. > > As they were being separated by the big beefy security guard everyone called “Charlie,” Elisa went for it and cunt punted Susie. The whole thing happened all in seconds, but for some reason it felt like it all had happened in slow motion. Elisa was suspended for a week and Susie was never seen from again. Rumor had it that she had to have reconstructive vagina surgery and later became a nun at St. Anthony’s. > > Elisa is now married to Susie’s ex-boyfriend, Steve Johnson. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorority-girls-warning-letter-to-sisters-goes-viral-its-epic/656104/14 "2013-04-19T10:58:10Z")
There are no words… I bet her parents are proud of their investment in her education… :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorority-girls-warning-letter-to-sisters-goes-viral-its-epic/656104/15 "2013-04-19T11:28:28Z")
I’m guessing that by now the national office of Delta Gamma will have had an awkward conversation with the chapter president, and the young lady who authored that lovely diatribe will be on Double Deep-Shit Suspension for a semester or two. If they’re lucky the chapter will escape sanction as long as National don’t find any other incriminating evidence. ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorority-girls-warning-letter-to-sisters-goes-viral-its-epic/656104/16 "2013-04-19T11:37:59Z")
I know who her twitter reminds me off, a young Ann Coulter! ---
**Author:** ![Onomatopoeia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/onomatopoeia/32/4145_2.png) [@Onomatopoeia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Onomatopoeia)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorority-girls-warning-letter-to-sisters-goes-viral-its-epic/656104/17 "2013-04-19T11:55:57Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > There are no words… I bet her parents are proud of their investment in her education… :rolleyes: I’d bet the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. I’ve known girls like this, and their parents are usually high-achieving, latchkey baby-making dicks. ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorority-girls-warning-letter-to-sisters-goes-viral-its-epic/656104/18 "2013-04-19T12:38:11Z")
Found this while looking for the sorority’s website. [http://dgumd.moonfruit.com/](http://dgumd.moonfruit.com/) I don’t know if it’s a recently created website or if it’s the real Maryland U DG website which has been improved by a third party to fit with the tone of the lady’s email. Be sure to listen to the song and click the links. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorority-girls-warning-letter-to-sisters-goes-viral-its-epic/656104/19 "2013-04-19T12:45:58Z")
This broad is a real firecracker. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorority-girls-warning-letter-to-sisters-goes-viral-its-epic/656104/20 "2013-04-19T12:49:40Z")
> [@markdash](#): > > I saw someone suggest Parker Posey. Yes, she has already played this role. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorority-girls-warning-letter-to-sisters-goes-viral-its-epic/656104.md?page=2)