# Sorority girl's warning letter to sisters goes viral - It's epic **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 19, 2013, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorority-girls-warning-letter-to-sisters-goes-viral-its-epic/656104 "2013-04-19T04:26:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorority-girls-warning-letter-to-sisters-goes-viral-its-epic/656104/101 "2013-04-19T23:26:46Z")
perhaps nancy grace? ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorority-girls-warning-letter-to-sisters-goes-viral-its-epic/656104/102 "2013-04-19T23:33:25Z")
> [@Neidhart](#): > > When did sorority girls start cursing like longshoremen?? My initiation was pretty salty. I am not a Delta Gamma. I’d like to hear Christopher Walken give it a run-through. ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorority-girls-warning-letter-to-sisters-goes-viral-its-epic/656104/103 "2013-04-19T23:51:58Z")
> [@wolfman](#): > > Pfft. It may be good in a Liberal Arts sense, but as an instrument of communication it sucks. She spends the first half saying how everybody has a duty to go and slut it up for this 4 day week. Then the whole second half about who should not go. I feel for the poor confused awkward retards who don’t know which half to believe. Shhh. We can’t assume she ment for them to he sluts ---
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorority-girls-warning-letter-to-sisters-goes-viral-its-epic/656104/104 "2013-04-19T23:53:14Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > [This chick totally nails it](http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=NQB812PtvgE). Yes, she does. > [@astro](#): > > [This woman will either be in jail or running a major corporation the future](http://gawker.com/5994974/the-most-deranged-sorority-girl-email-you-will-ever-read?tag=life-lessons). > > I’ll give it a golf clap just for the nuclear heat and creativity. > > What actress could read this letter and do it justice? > [@Valgard](#): > > Margaret Cho > Sarah Silverman > Betty White 😃 Hands down, Lisa Lampanelli…this rant is right in her wheelhouse. ---
**Author:** ![dubs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d6d6ee/32.png) [@dubs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dubs)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2013, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorority-girls-warning-letter-to-sisters-goes-viral-its-epic/656104/105 "2013-04-20T00:29:29Z")
I thought I was reading the script for the Trailer Park Boys Meet the Mean Sorority Girl movie. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2013, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorority-girls-warning-letter-to-sisters-goes-viral-its-epic/656104/106 "2013-04-20T00:32:55Z")
When’s the next SNL? I say Cecily Strong does it. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2013, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorority-girls-warning-letter-to-sisters-goes-viral-its-epic/656104/107 "2013-04-20T00:35:55Z")
> [@Leaper](#): > > No, this has to do (at least a good part, I suspect) to the misogyny and sexism arguments going on in ATMB. > > As for the topic… Well, it’s one of those things I blink at, wondering if this person is for real, basically — maybe a little awe at such an unbroken and passionate rant. 🙂 (I think that’s a reason for much of the admiration: the sustained nature of its passion.) It does remind me of Lucifer in Milton’s Paradise Lost. But with profanity. ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2013, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorority-girls-warning-letter-to-sisters-goes-viral-its-epic/656104/108 "2013-04-20T00:47:51Z")
And as for who should recite it, A letter that over the top requires an orator equally over the top… Harvey Fierstein in full grand dame costume. ---
**Author:** ![Katriona](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/katriona/32/113_2.png) [@Katriona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katriona)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2013, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorority-girls-warning-letter-to-sisters-goes-viral-its-epic/656104/109 "2013-04-20T00:57:30Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > I’m thinking more Maggie Smith, especially the cunt-punting parts. > > Regards, > Shodan That was my first thought, too - imagine the Dowager Countess reading that! ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2013, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorority-girls-warning-letter-to-sisters-goes-viral-its-epic/656104/110 "2013-04-20T01:56:07Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > [This chick totally nails it](http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=NQB812PtvgE). Totally. What was the term? Oh yes - “A bitchtastic reading…” 😃 > [@WalterBrazil](#): > > > [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > > > Judy Dench is much too classy for that rant. Same with Maggie Smith. > > Nothing is quite as astonishingly show-stopping as a cut-glass BBC-accented British Lady spitting out an expletive. Especially the C word… > > I have little understanding of the Sorority scenario, having attended University in Ireland, but this is one ugly email… > [@gaffa](#): > > I take it you didn’t see _[Notes on a Scandal](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0465551/)_. But even in the vastly more popular _[Skyfall](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1074638/)_, I could totally see M threatening to cunt-punt James Bond. Hmm, good points - now I _can_ see M threatening to cunt-punt James Bond (but in all fairness, I think most women who meet him want to cunt-punt him). ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2013, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorority-girls-warning-letter-to-sisters-goes-viral-its-epic/656104/111 "2013-04-20T01:59:34Z")
> [@Sigmagirl](#): > > \ > I’d like to hear Christopher Walken give it a run-through. Oh, yes! I’ll throw something a little different in here - how about Morgan Freeman reading it? His voice reading things is such a cliché at this point that it might be pleasantly meta. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Valgard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/7feea3/32.png) [@Valgard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valgard)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2013, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorority-girls-warning-letter-to-sisters-goes-viral-its-epic/656104/112 "2013-04-20T02:07:39Z")
> [@wolfman](#): > > And as for who should recite it, A letter that over the top requires an orator equally over the top… > > Harvey Fierstein in full grand dame costume. Well if we’re letting guys do it then Samuel Jackson is my choice. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2013, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorority-girls-warning-letter-to-sisters-goes-viral-its-epic/656104/113 "2013-04-20T02:28:38Z")
I would simply like to thank her for adding “cunt punt” to my vocabulary. ---
**Author:** ![JKilez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e5b9ba/32.png) [@JKilez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKilez)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2013, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorority-girls-warning-letter-to-sisters-goes-viral-its-epic/656104/114 "2013-04-20T02:51:02Z")
Having just read it, I am thinking: “I do not remember being in a sorority, or being female for that matter, but that sure sounds like me. I wonder when I wrote that.” ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2013, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorority-girls-warning-letter-to-sisters-goes-viral-its-epic/656104/115 "2013-04-20T03:58:29Z")
There are three speeches, or brief monologues, if you will, that I’ve long desired to make. If you’ll permit, I submit this open reply to our Miss Congeniality. \*Julia, I’ll be brief. The issue here is not whether we broke a few rules, or didn’t give a few blowjobs to our male party guests - we didn’t. But you can’t hold a whole sorority responsible for the behavior of a few, healthy moral individuals. For if you do, then shouldn’t we blame the whole greek system? And if the whole greek system is guilty, then isn’t this an indictment of our educational institutions in general? I put it to you, Julia - isn’t this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do whatever you want to us, but we’re not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America. Ladies! \* Oh, and if Dame Judith or Morgan Freeman aren’t available, how about James Earl Jones? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2013, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorority-girls-warning-letter-to-sisters-goes-viral-its-epic/656104/116 "2013-04-20T04:08:46Z")
> [@JKilez](#): > > Having just read it, I am thinking: “I do not remember being in a sorority, or being female for that matter, but that sure sounds like me. I wonder when I wrote that.” Probably while driving. Or is it just me? > [@Ranger\_Jeff](#): > > \ > Oh, and if Dame Judith or Morgan Freeman aren’t available, how about James Earl Jones? Sweet! ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2013, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorority-girls-warning-letter-to-sisters-goes-viral-its-epic/656104/117 "2013-04-20T04:13:58Z")
Werner Herzog. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2013, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorority-girls-warning-letter-to-sisters-goes-viral-its-epic/656104/118 "2013-04-20T04:21:36Z")
Diane Rehm. It would take her a while to get through it, but I think I might throw my back out from the laughing. I’d also like to hear Alec Baldwin _as_ Jack Donaghy read this. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2013, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorority-girls-warning-letter-to-sisters-goes-viral-its-epic/656104/119 "2013-04-20T04:28:36Z")
Look, if you’re going to have an actress do this speech, you get Hailie Steinfeld to do it as Mattie Ross from “True Grit.” [QUOTE=Mattie Ross As The Psycho Sorority Woman] Of course, my sisters, I am strained in my understanding of why one would wish to express support for the opposing school’s athletic squad. Irrespective of one’s position on matters of gentility in sport, I would, upon discovering you engaged in such activity, be required to forcefully kick your vaginas. I must, furthermore, emphasize the importance of maximizing our sociability at the next soiree, so that our reputations as ladies of an entertaining nature. Go fuck yourself. [/QUOTE] ---
**Author:** ![Acid\_Lamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Acid\_Lamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acid_Lamp)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2013, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorority-girls-warning-letter-to-sisters-goes-viral-its-epic/656104/120 "2013-04-20T05:26:07Z")
> [@rhubarbarin](#): > > Werner Herzog. (slow clap) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorority-girls-warning-letter-to-sisters-goes-viral-its-epic/656104.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorority-girls-warning-letter-to-sisters-goes-viral-its-epic/656104.md?page=7)