# Sorry, folks! One more bed bug thread: Noah's Ark. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 3, 2011, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-folks-one-more-bed-bug-thread-noahs-ark/595101 "2011-09-03T20:42:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2011, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-folks-one-more-bed-bug-thread-noahs-ark/595101/1 "2011-09-03T20:42:46Z")
Okay , so were there bed bugs aboard Noah’s Ark? Huh? Huh? This is a serious question. No derails allowed. I’m serious. You are forbidden to derail this fine discussion theme. I don’t need to tel you what I’ll pray for you to be hit with if you try to derail. And, no, this is not a parody thread or satire thread. Not in the least. No, no, no. Definitely not. Just itching for your input. ---
**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2011, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-folks-one-more-bed-bug-thread-noahs-ark/595101/2 "2011-09-03T20:52:11Z")
Before we get to the bedbugs, is your username meant to be read \*\*Trans Fat \*\*“zero grams” or \*\*Trans Fat \*\*“Og,” as in the god-substitute featured on this board? The Bureau of Screen Name Truth in Labeling wants to know. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2011, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-folks-one-more-bed-bug-thread-noahs-ark/595101/3 "2011-09-03T20:55:28Z")
Taek all kinds of teh birdz, An ov teh moocows, An ov teh _creepy crawlyz_ on teh urf, 2 ov evry kind. -[Genesis 6:20](http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Genesis_6#20) Bedbugs count as “creepy crawlyz”, don’t they? ---
**Author:** ![Mosier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ea924/32.png) [@Mosier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mosier)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2011, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-folks-one-more-bed-bug-thread-noahs-ark/595101/4 "2011-09-03T21:00:12Z")
Yes. But not on purpose. ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2011, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-folks-one-more-bed-bug-thread-noahs-ark/595101/5 "2011-09-03T21:00:14Z")
> [@ugly ripe tomato](#): > > Before we get to the bedbugs, is your username meant to be read \*\*Trans Fat \*\*“zero grams” or \*\*Trans Fat \*\*“Og,” as in the god-substitute featured on this board? > > The Bureau of Screen Name Truth in Labeling wants to know. I’ve always read it as the latter. Anybody (including the OP) who suggests it’s the former probably puts the toilet paper on the wrong way and is on the wrong side of the shoes on/off in the house debate. Not only that, but they probably move their lips while reading the never-ending FX blog thread, pronounce the main subject wrongly, and keep helping bump it from time to time. However, they do drink Scotch properly, so I’ll give them that. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2011, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-folks-one-more-bed-bug-thread-noahs-ark/595101/6 "2011-09-03T21:01:29Z")
> [@Trans Fat Og](#): > > And, no, this is not a parody thread or satire thread. Not in the least. No, no, no. Definitely not. Shenanigans! [I call Shenanigans!](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SNxCvDYpmxE) ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2011, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-folks-one-more-bed-bug-thread-noahs-ark/595101/7 "2011-09-03T21:27:07Z")
> [@ugly ripe tomato](#): > > Before we get to the bedbugs, is your username meant to be read \*\*Trans Fat \*\*“zero grams” or \*\*Trans Fat \*\*“Og,” as in the god-substitute featured on this board? > > The Bureau of Screen Name Truth in Labeling wants to know. The latter, and yes, you have the correct motif. > [@Rhythmdvl](#): > > I’ve always read it as the latter. Anybody (including the OP) who suggests it’s the former probably puts the toilet paper on the wrong way and is on the wrong side of the shoes on/off in the house debate. > > Not only that, but they probably move their lips while reading the never-ending FX blog thread, pronounce the main subject wrongly, and keep helping bump it from time to time. > > However, they do drink Scotch properly, so I’ll give them that. Hic. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2011, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-folks-one-more-bed-bug-thread-noahs-ark/595101/8 "2011-09-03T22:56:23Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Taek all kinds of teh birdz, An ov teh moocows, An ov teh _creepy crawlyz_ on teh urf, 2 ov evry kind. > -[Genesis 6:20](http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Genesis_6#20) > > Bedbugs count as “creepy crawlyz”, don’t they? Again the issue of what a ‘kind’ is? I suspect that it was a representative for many similar species. I suspect Noah may have been voted off the Ark if he tried to take all the nasty ones too. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2011, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-folks-one-more-bed-bug-thread-noahs-ark/595101/9 "2011-09-03T23:06:14Z")
> [@kanicbird](#): > > Again the issue of what a ‘kind’ is? I suspect that it was a representative for many similar species. I suspect Noah may have been voted off the Ark if he tried to take all the nasty ones too. THANK YOU!!! This thread would not have been complete without your input. ETA: “Voted off the Ark” – I was not aware that the ancient PATRIARCHIES were democracies. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-folks-one-more-bed-bug-thread-noahs-ark/595101/10 "2011-09-04T00:01:25Z")
Remember that footage of Noah on deck, where he’s looking at the horizon? Notice him scratching (maybe at 1:58, but definitely at 4:07)? Yep, bed bugs. And his kids had head lice. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-folks-one-more-bed-bug-thread-noahs-ark/595101/11 "2011-09-04T00:23:42Z")
> [@kanicbird](#): > > Again the issue of what a ‘kind’ is? I suspect that it was a representative for many similar species. I suspect Noah may have been voted off the Ark if he tried to take all the nasty ones too. Are you questioning Ceiling Cat? Doez u want 2 get pwn3d? ---
**Author:** ![Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/try2b_comprehensive/32/65_2.png) [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Try2B_Comprehensive)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-folks-one-more-bed-bug-thread-noahs-ark/595101/12 "2011-09-04T19:31:34Z")
This one is a no-brainer. If Noah had not included them then we would not have them today. Same with the 70,000 species of annelids. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2011, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-folks-one-more-bed-bug-thread-noahs-ark/595101/13 "2011-09-04T19:48:19Z")
Obviously the premise that Noah’s Ark actually happened is faulty. But if you accept it, considering that the ancients (and apparently, their gods) knew nothing about germs, viruses and teeny-weeny beasties, it’s most likely that whatever was hitching a ride on the animal came along, too. Noah certainly didn’t dip each in disinfectant (and that wouldn’t do much to internal parasites anyway). ---
**Author:** ![PetW](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d2c977/32.png) [@PetW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PetW)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-folks-one-more-bed-bug-thread-noahs-ark/595101/14 "2011-09-06T12:05:38Z")
> [@Musicat](#): > > Noah certainly didn’t dip each in disinfectant (and that wouldn’t do much to internal parasites anyway). Unless you dip very thoroughly. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-folks-one-more-bed-bug-thread-noahs-ark/595101/15 "2011-09-06T12:22:35Z")
No. They didn’t have small enough PFDs. ---
**Author:** ![bizzwire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/958977/32.png) [@bizzwire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bizzwire)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-folks-one-more-bed-bug-thread-noahs-ark/595101/16 "2011-09-06T12:31:25Z")
> [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](#): > > This one is a no-brainer. If Noah had not included them then we would not have them today. Same with the 70,000 species of annelids. So I guess that also means that the Noah family was totally clapped up with the gleet, leprosy, malaria, herpes, cholera and cooties. And if you count viruses among the things God made in the first six days of creation add hepatitus C HPV and AIDs. I bet dinner-time conversations were interesting ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-folks-one-more-bed-bug-thread-noahs-ark/595101/17 "2011-09-06T12:37:42Z")
> [@bizzwire](#): > > So I guess that also means that the Noah family was totally clapped up with the gleet, leprosy, malaria, herpes, cholera and cooties. > > And if you count viruses among the things God made in the first six days of creation add hepatitus C HPV and AIDs. > > I bet dinner-time conversations were interesting Fuck that ! Who was the one with Ebola ? ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-folks-one-more-bed-bug-thread-noahs-ark/595101/18 "2011-09-06T13:34:50Z")
Bed bugs originated in Germany shorty before the outbreak of WWI. The original bedbug was smaller, slower and was only attracted to females. It wasn’t until WWII that the bedbug was improved by Nazi scientists and became bisexual. The improved version, called the Wunderinsekt, was secretly exported to the Americas. So, there were no bedbugs on the ark. I’d be happy to help Cecil do a feature on this if he’s interested. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-folks-one-more-bed-bug-thread-noahs-ark/595101/19 "2011-09-06T14:58:26Z")
They had bedding, why not bedbugs? ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-folks-one-more-bed-bug-thread-noahs-ark/595101/20 "2011-09-06T15:39:46Z")
Um, should this even be in the Pit? There isn’t even all that much cursing … [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-folks-one-more-bed-bug-thread-noahs-ark/595101.md?page=2)