# Sorry, folks! One more bed bug thread: Noah's Ark. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 3, 2011, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-folks-one-more-bed-bug-thread-noahs-ark/595101 "2011-09-03T20:42:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-folks-one-more-bed-bug-thread-noahs-ark/595101/21 "2011-09-06T18:26:00Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > Um, should this even be in the Pit? There isn’t even all that much cursing … Despite my “protestations” in my OP, this thread is a parody of the fish-on-Ark thread. Just in case you have any further questions, the “sticky” What-Is-Pit-Worthy shows an emerging doper consensus that parodies and satires are pit-worthy, and the mods going along with that, so it’s official. You may have to do an internal word-search to find it fairly far down-thread. It wasn’t a very high priority in the genreal discussion. I double-checked the sticky before placing it here. It seemed especially appropriate because the thread I parodied here was a BBQ thread. Oh, and %&$#@!!! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Cheshire\_Human](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-folks-one-more-bed-bug-thread-noahs-ark/595101/22 "2011-09-07T00:48:54Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > Um, should this even be in the Pit? There isn’t even all that much cursing … This would be the proper place to insert an FU, but that violates even the Pit rules. Consider yourself in receipt of a mild scolding, without too many vulgarities. And none in violation of the rules. ETA: I almost forgot: “~!@#%^&\*()\_+" And another thing: +\_)(\*&^%#@!~”, Dumbass! ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-folks-one-more-bed-bug-thread-noahs-ark/595101/23 "2011-09-07T02:41:06Z")
So who on the Ark would have been in charge of the syphilis spyrochete and the gonorrhea bacterium? ---
**Author:** ![Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/try2b_comprehensive/32/65_2.png) [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Try2B_Comprehensive)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-folks-one-more-bed-bug-thread-noahs-ark/595101/24 "2011-09-07T13:43:23Z")
> [@Musicat](#): > > Obviously the premise that Noah’s Ark actually happened is faulty. Whoops, looks like someone needs to check their work. This story is written down in the Bible, and therefore necessarily is perfectly, literally true. QED 😉 > [@bizzwire](#): > > So I guess that also means that the Noah family was totally clapped up with the gleet, leprosy, malaria, herpes, cholera and cooties. > > And if you count viruses among the things God made in the first six days of creation add hepatitus C HPV and AIDs. > > I bet dinner-time conversations were interesting Seems implausible that Noah could have remained a religious man if that were the case. No, I bet the viruses survived in the water. After all, they are actually demons, which are pesky, tenacious critters. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-folks-one-more-bed-bug-thread-noahs-ark/595101/25 "2011-09-07T13:57:59Z")
> [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](#): > > . . . > > Seems implausible that Noah could have remained a religious man if that were the case. No, I bet the viruses survived in the water. After all, they are actually demons, which are pesky, tenacious critters. Look at it from Noah’s POV. He’s told there’s going to be a large flood, and that he must play zookeeper to a multitude of animals who, he’s promised, aren’t going to eat each other during a very long voyage. He complies with this heavenly voice, and behold there’s a large flood. Everybody dies but Noah and the Noahites. If anyone ever had a reason to believe, it’s Noah. He’s surely not going to get pissed at a few cold sores and a couple of crotch crickets after surviving such a disaster. ---
**Author:** ![Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/try2b_comprehensive/32/65_2.png) [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Try2B_Comprehensive)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-folks-one-more-bed-bug-thread-noahs-ark/595101/26 "2011-09-07T14:04:01Z")
Yeah, croch critters plus _leprosy_ and _ebola_. This is Genesis, not Job :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Oliveritaly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oliveritaly/32/15233_2.png) [@Oliveritaly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oliveritaly)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-folks-one-more-bed-bug-thread-noahs-ark/595101/27 "2011-09-07T14:09:04Z")
This thread should be moved by a Mod 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-folks-one-more-bed-bug-thread-noahs-ark/595101/28 "2011-09-07T14:10:34Z")
You know, if I were God and wanted to prove some sort of flood-related point, instead of going to all that effort to break the laws of physics, I’d just implant the \*memories \*of a flood in Noah’s mind. Seems a whole lot easier. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-folks-one-more-bed-bug-thread-noahs-ark/595101/29 "2011-09-07T15:52:15Z")
> [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](#): > > Yeah, croch critters plus _leprosy_ and _ebola_. This is Genesis, not Job :rolleyes: And the lord parted the clouds and there came forth a whoosh. ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-folks-one-more-bed-bug-thread-noahs-ark/595101/30 "2011-09-07T18:10:12Z")
> [@Trans Fat Og](#): > > THANK YOU!!! This thread would not have been complete without your input. > > ETA: “Voted off the Ark” – I was not aware that the ancient PATRIARCHIES were democracies. 😃 Ah, but they _were_. All patriarchal societies adhere to the principle of “One man, one vote.” As used in Discworld, the Patriarch of the society is the Man, and has the Vote. ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-folks-one-more-bed-bug-thread-noahs-ark/595101/31 "2011-09-07T18:12:51Z")
> [@bizzwire](#): > > So I guess that also means that the Noah family was totally clapped up with the gleet, leprosy, malaria, herpes, cholera and cooties. And tapeworms! Don’t forget the tapeworms! ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-folks-one-more-bed-bug-thread-noahs-ark/595101/32 "2011-09-07T21:18:11Z")
> [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](#): > > Yeah, croch critters plus _leprosy_ and _ebola_. This is Genesis, not Job :rolleyes: Mmmm … no. I like **Morgenstern** ’s “crotch **crickets** ” better. ---
**Author:** ![Uber\_the\_Goober](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/58956e/32.png) [@Uber\_the\_Goober](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uber_the_Goober)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2011, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-folks-one-more-bed-bug-thread-noahs-ark/595101/33 "2011-09-08T01:47:18Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Taek all kinds of teh birdz, An ov teh moocows, An ov teh _creepy crawlyz_ on teh urf, 2 ov evry kind. > -[Genesis 6:20](http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Genesis_6#20) > > Bedbugs count as “creepy crawlyz”, don’t they? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Srsly. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Scud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Tom\_Scud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Scud)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2011, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-folks-one-more-bed-bug-thread-noahs-ark/595101/34 "2011-09-08T03:48:46Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > You know, if I were God and wanted to prove some sort of flood-related point, instead of going to all that effort to break the laws of physics, I’d just implant the \*memories \*of a flood in Noah’s mind. Seems a whole lot easier. But not as fun. Seriously, who doesn’t, after playing Sim City for a couple hours, reach for the Disaster button? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-folks-one-more-bed-bug-thread-noahs-ark/595101.md?page=1)