# Sorry, I'm STILL NOT GAY, but thanks! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 2, 2002, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-im-still-not-gay-but-thanks/140042 "2002-12-02T21:43:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![The\_Ace\_of\_Swords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@The\_Ace\_of\_Swords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Ace_of_Swords)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-im-still-not-gay-but-thanks/140042/1 "2002-12-02T21:43:10Z")
I got a call last night from an … admirer? A guy I hung out with in a bar a _year_ ago, decided to make a booty call! What on god’s green earth? First of all. Who the fuck calls someone they met in a bar a year ago? At midnight? Saying “I’m more of a bottom, really.” Fer christ sake, at least find out if I’m gay first you skeevy pipe-smoker! Gay folks: FIRST: IT’S COOL IF YOU ASK, YES IT IS!!! When in doubt, fucking ask first, ok? Then I won’t have to say “I’m sorry to burst your bubble, but I’m straight – that’s life in the big city, eh?” Cause you know why? It makes for fucking _strained_ conversations. SECOND: I WANT TO BE GAY SO I CAN MAKE YEAR-OLD BOOTY CALLS!! “Hi sexy. It’s Ace; from that funeral two years ago? Yeah. What’s’up, sugar? Nothing? I’ve got a you-shaped space in my bed, wanna fill it? Wanna come over and lay some pipe?” Can I do that? NO! THIRDLY: DO I HAVE TO SWAGGER AROUND SO I DON’T GIVE MIXED SIGNALS TO MY GAY FRIENDS?! I can do that: Hey, jamoke – gimme another fucking pint ova here! Fucking limey pinky-lifting nipple-twisting buggery git! Hey, you know what, buddy? I like the PUSSY – yes I do, pink and tangy, that’s the stuff, yum yum give me some – Eh, buddy? Eh? Listen, gay folks, y’all are cool with me, just STOP TRYING TO SEX ME UP! Criminy! Gay men! Do I need to get a shirt that says “PUSSY LOVING” or what? Jes trying to be clear, Ace ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-im-still-not-gay-but-thanks/140042/2 "2002-12-02T21:45:17Z")
So . . . . You’re insulted by someone telling you they find you attractive? What do you do when someone tells you you’re revolting, _thank_ them? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-im-still-not-gay-but-thanks/140042/3 "2002-12-02T21:46:24Z")
Oh, sure, no homophobia there, no. Yeah, we all know that straight men don’t act like total sleazes. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![cuauhtemoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-im-still-not-gay-but-thanks/140042/4 "2002-12-02T21:47:26Z")
**Eve** , I think he’s getting unwanted sexual advances. Nobody likes that. ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-im-still-not-gay-but-thanks/140042/5 "2002-12-02T21:49:06Z")
> [@](#): > > A guy I hung out with in a bar a year ago, decided to make a booty call! What on god’s green earth? And yet he had your phone number… And so does the [Onion](http://www.theonion.com/onion3604/why_do_all_these.html). ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-im-still-not-gay-but-thanks/140042/6 "2002-12-02T21:56:51Z")
While I think the OP probably went _way_ over the top, I have to agree that cuauhtemoc has a point. Midnight booty calls from someone you met a year ago and have no sexual interest in is not cool. Especially the “midnight” part. I mean, that’s just beyond rude. And I wouldn’t automatically assume the OP gave the caller his number. The caller could have looked up his name in the phone book. ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-im-still-not-gay-but-thanks/140042/7 "2002-12-02T22:01:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by cuauhtemoc \* > \*\ ***Eve** , I think he’s getting unwanted sexual advances. Nobody likes that. \*\* Really? ---
**Author:** ![Medea\_s\_Child](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Medea\_s\_Child](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Medea_s_Child)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-im-still-not-gay-but-thanks/140042/8 "2002-12-02T22:08:18Z")
At midnight? Over the phone? I don’t care if you are male, female, gay, straight, fuck buddy, close friend, or someone I nod to on the street…if you aren’t _in_ my bed at midnight, I don’t want to hear from you about **anything** at midnight. I’ll forgive you later if its a huge emergency and you fall into the “close friend” category. (Note for the impaired: Sex is not an emergency…) ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-im-still-not-gay-but-thanks/140042/9 "2002-12-02T22:13:21Z")
The call was off the top-but the whole thing seems to be about how “Homosexuals” do this. Really. Weird. ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-im-still-not-gay-but-thanks/140042/10 "2002-12-02T22:13:32Z")
Well, Ace, ole pal, you’ve just gotten a small taste of what life is like for a woman. ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-im-still-not-gay-but-thanks/140042/11 "2002-12-02T22:49:14Z")
I’ve gotten immune to guys hitting on me here in San Fran, too bad i’m not gay, apparently i am like crack for 40 year old guys, i could suck them dry!! (uh, moneywise, of course…sheesh!!) ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-im-still-not-gay-but-thanks/140042/12 "2002-12-02T22:54:55Z")
> [@](#): > > …unwanted sexual advances… I know what all those words mean, but that phrase still makes no sense to me… ---
**Author:** ![kevja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/aeb1de/32.png) [@kevja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kevja)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2002, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-im-still-not-gay-but-thanks/140042/13 "2002-12-03T01:31:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tars Tarkas \* > \*\*I’ve gotten immune to guys hitting on me here in San Fran, too bad i’m not gay, apparently i am like crack for 40 year old guys, i could suck them dry!! > (uh, moneywise, of course…sheesh!!) \*\* 40 something gay guy in San Francisco checking in. What exactly are you trying to say? You could hussle us old fags? You’re so hot we would become addicted to you? Give me a fucking break! As I’ve said so many times. I’ve been here for nearly 30 years, And I’ve never hit on a straight guy. Even the straight guys who like to hang around in gay bars every week, then get pissed if a gay guy hits on them. And what is up with that bullshit. The only “straight” guys I’ve ever had sex with are the ones who told me they were married after we were finished. Those closet types have made ten times more late night and early morning begging booty calls than any out gay guy I’ve known. News flash – all of us are not lusting after your straight ass! ---
**Author:** ![apotheosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ba8739/32.png) [@apotheosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apotheosis)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2002, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-im-still-not-gay-but-thanks/140042/14 "2002-12-03T01:33:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Miller \* > \*\*I know what all those words mean, but that phrase still makes no sense to me… \*\* Ditto. Meesa no grok. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2002, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-im-still-not-gay-but-thanks/140042/15 "2002-12-03T01:38:45Z")
Kevja, I think Tars is saying he’s EXPERIENCED a ton of gay guys hitting on him. Are you accusing him of lying? I’m like fucking crack to a lot of the lesbians I know, I don’t know why, I just am. I don’t THINK I’m unbelievably hot, I just have a ton of lesbians hit on me. Dial back the vitriol my man. ---
**Author:** ![lazymexicanamerican](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecb155/32.png) [@lazymexicanamerican](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lazymexicanamerican)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2002, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-im-still-not-gay-but-thanks/140042/16 "2002-12-03T01:38:45Z")
I agree with u but i’m been picked apart by lesbians. I’m at the age where everyones “experimenting their sexuality” but being told u have nice breasts by another girl is not something you wanna hear. I’m not homophobic… you wanna be a lesbian go ahead just don’t hit on me! ---
**Author:** ![apotheosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ba8739/32.png) [@apotheosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apotheosis)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2002, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-im-still-not-gay-but-thanks/140042/17 "2002-12-03T01:40:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lazymexicanamerican \* > **but being told u have nice breasts by another girl is not something you wanna hear.** Particularly not if you’re a guy. :eek: Paid For by the American Coalition Against Man-Boobs ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2002, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-im-still-not-gay-but-thanks/140042/18 "2002-12-03T01:49:02Z")
> [@](#): > > I’ve gotten immune to guys hitting on me here in San Fran, too bad i’m not gay, apparently i am like crack for 40 year old guys, i could suck them dry!! Newsflash. 40-year-old gay men are not necessarily drooling over twinks with attitude. I’m 41 and I like a man who’s hairy, tough, and muscled. Wifty little club kids can’t hold a conversation, they aren’t in shape, and they can’t fuck worth a damn. ---
**Author:** ![In\_Conceivable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/4bbf92/32.png) [@In\_Conceivable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/In_Conceivable)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2002, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-im-still-not-gay-but-thanks/140042/19 "2002-12-03T01:50:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Ace of Swords \* > \*\*Sorry, I’m STILL NOT GAY > > \*\* Are you gay now?? Now? How about now? 😃 I would be weirded out by anyone I hadn’t spoken to in a year calling me at midnight to hit on me. Doesn’t he know that it is rude to call people you don’t know after 10:00? They might be asleep! ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2002, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-im-still-not-gay-but-thanks/140042/20 "2002-12-03T01:55:15Z")
I wonder what Ace’s reaction would have been if the caller had been a girl. I wonder what his reaction would have been if it was a big, fat girl with chin bristle. I wonder if Ace’s disgust would have been more understandable or less understandable under those other circumstances. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-im-still-not-gay-but-thanks/140042.md?page=2)