# Sorry. That episode simply never happened, and you'll not convince me otherwise. (spoilers likely) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 22, 2010, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-that-episode-simply-never-happened-and-youll-not-convince-me-otherwise-spoilers-likely/525995 "2010-01-22T15:45:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2010, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-that-episode-simply-never-happened-and-youll-not-convince-me-otherwise-spoilers-likely/525995/81 "2010-01-24T18:47:10Z")
I’m going to guess, before asking her, that her worst episode ever was the _X-Files_ episode where Scully gives up her baby, William, “to keep him safe”. :rolleyes: If Laura didn’t know that the show was ending at the end of the season, she likely would have stopped watching it. But with 9-odd years invested and only 5+ shows to go, she stuck it out. Pissed as hell, but she stuck it out. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-that-episode-simply-never-happened-and-youll-not-convince-me-otherwise-spoilers-likely/525995/82 "2010-01-25T01:21:17Z")
> [@DSYoungEsq](#): > > What Star Wars Christmas Special? Before Hayden Christensen, before midichlorians, before Jar-Jar Binks, before even the Ewoks, there was the Star Wars _Holiday_ Special. An omen of just how far down Lucas would later drag the franchise. ---
**Author:** ![gallows\_fodder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8c91f0/32.png) [@gallows\_fodder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gallows_fodder)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-that-episode-simply-never-happened-and-youll-not-convince-me-otherwise-spoilers-likely/525995/83 "2010-01-25T02:13:31Z")
For me, it’s the **X-Files** episode “all things”. The one written and directed by Gillian Anderson, whom I love to pieces as an actor and (from what little I know of her) as a human being. That episode stank like badly-written fanfiction, with Scully behaving entirely out-of-character, bewildering backstory popping up and then never referred to again, and worst of all to me…the implication that Scully and Mulder had been sleeping together for a while now and we just never heard about it. That I just could not accept. Their relationship was so complicated and intense…I just can’t see them treating sex between them so casually, or being able to compartmentalize a sexual relationship away from a work relationship. Also, I plain hated the way Scully was written in this episode, and it really pained and bugged me to know that this was how Gillian Anderson saw her, and…no, I’d rather just pretend this never happened. ---
**Author:** ![jellyblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e480ec/32.png) [@jellyblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jellyblue)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-that-episode-simply-never-happened-and-youll-not-convince-me-otherwise-spoilers-likely/525995/84 "2010-01-25T08:14:13Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > The two _Buffy_ episodes I came in to mention have already been mentioned. > > Xander standing Anya up at the altar was out of character. It also made her continuing presence on the show kind of forced, which really sucked because Anya’s my favorite character. > > The insane asylum episode I instantly hated. If none of this is “real” within the context of the shows universe, why should I bother to continue watching? :rolleyes: Nope, nope, sorry, I will embrace BOTH of these, wholeheartedly, if we can all agree that the episode in which Spike tries to rape Buffy never ever happened. Especially since she slept with him again after that . Thanks in advance for your cooperation in this matter. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-that-episode-simply-never-happened-and-youll-not-convince-me-otherwise-spoilers-likely/525995/85 "2010-01-25T15:06:29Z")
A nope, nope right back at’ya! Xander never would have abandoned Anya, and “Normal Again” was Joss on acid. “Seeing Red” most definitely happened, because otherwise Spike wouldn’t have gotten a soul and that would mean that all of Season 5 of **Angel** didn’t happen as well. Just accept that Buffy and Spike were terminally dysfunctional, Marti Noxon is a lunatic, and go on. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tooth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c67d28/32.png) [@The\_Tooth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tooth)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-that-episode-simply-never-happened-and-youll-not-convince-me-otherwise-spoilers-likely/525995/86 "2010-01-25T15:56:43Z")
> [@stpauler](#): > > First season of 24. I was hooked by the amazing production, the crisp and sharp writing and acting, and the first episodes had me scratchin’ for more. Then Jack Bauer’s wife (or was it his daughter) got amnesia. I haven’t watched an episode since that plot contrivance. It was his wife. I haven’t seen an episode since either. I gather it has turned into torture-porn, which is too bad. ---
**Author:** ![Silverstreak\_Wonder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Silverstreak\_Wonder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silverstreak_Wonder)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-that-episode-simply-never-happened-and-youll-not-convince-me-otherwise-spoilers-likely/525995/87 "2010-01-25T16:09:37Z")
The worst was an original Star Trek, with them on alien planet and in the OK Corral with 1800’s gunslingers, that episode should be burned up for all time. Lost in Space, in the 3rd year started having talking vegetables and a giant carrot after being very good before that. Other silliness included a celestial department store and other such horrible plot ideas. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tooth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c67d28/32.png) [@The\_Tooth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tooth)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-that-episode-simply-never-happened-and-youll-not-convince-me-otherwise-spoilers-likely/525995/88 "2010-01-25T16:17:00Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Still re: Galactica: > > [spoiler]Even if you handwave away all the cultural stuff as racial memory or whatever, there’s still the constellations. As Gaeta and Baltar (the two most scientific characters on the show) rightly recognize, knowing what the night sky looks like from a planet pins down where the planet must be, even if it’s still a needle-in-a-haystack problem to find it. > > As for **Oakminster** ’s fanwank that Nuked “Earth” is Mars, that would work for the constellations, but immediately after they discover that “Earth” was nuked into oblivion, they start searching for other habitable planets to settle, instead. You’d think they’d notice if there was one right next door. > > And I don’t _like_ coming to the conclusion of time travel, but the plot forces me into it, by having the characters visit two places, both of which are unambiguously our Earth, at different times. The fact that the finale forces one to a conclusion that isn’t consistent with the rest of the series is a large part of what was so wrong with it. > > Really, what I think happened is that they didn’t have the ending in mind when they wrote the “nuked Earth” episodes, and then by the time they did start thinking about the finale, they forgot that they’d already given us proof that nuked Earth was Earth, so they thought they still had the freedom to retcon it.[/spoiler] Yeah, but . . . [spoiler]There was a nebula that Starbuck recognized in the temple on Kobol that isn’t in our sky. Those markers didn’t show our night sky. Orion became prominent in the background towards the end of the series, that’s the only familiar constellation I remember from the show. It’s a bit of dramatic license to show us the Galactica was near our neck of the woods, a place where Orion would look like Orion, even if a star is a degree or two out of place; we wouldn’t notice on TV. That Orion was recognizably Orion is all that matters. The nuked planet they find is not Earth. We never saw the configuration of the continents, we never saw our moon in the sky. I pointed this out on another board and got heat for it but I showed them, I showed them all. When they do get here, it’s unambiguously Earth, and there’s no mistaking it for another planet. Adama names this planet after the failed Cylon colony Earth and Roslin snorts in derision, which I thought was great. The irradiated mess they leave Lucy Lawless on was not this planet. The one they find in the last episode is. I can’t argue in favour of throwing away all their technology; I hope it was just the ships and not their supplies. It sure looked nice drifting off into the sunset like that though. [/spoiler] As for the rest of the finale. . . I’m fine with the Hand Of Vorlon ending. It all fits. Headsix _said_ she was sent by God, right from the start. We all saw Starbuck’s ship disintegrate with her in it, so it’s not so shocking that she’s an angel or whatever. It’s obviously retroactive continuity, but it’s well crafted. ---
**Author:** ![Lightray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightray/32/391_2.png) [@Lightray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightray)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-that-episode-simply-never-happened-and-youll-not-convince-me-otherwise-spoilers-likely/525995/89 "2010-01-25T17:23:19Z")
> [@The\_Tooth](#): > > Yeah, but . . . > > [spoiler]I’m fine with the Hand Of Vorlon ending. It all fits. Headsix _said_ she was sent by God, right from the start. We all saw Starbuck’s ship disintegrate with her in it, so it’s not so shocking that she’s an angel or whatever. It’s obviously retroactive continuity, but it’s well crafted. It was just the ships. There were several shots of people carting away supplies from the basecamp on New Earth, and mentions that the Raptors were being used to ferry people to their chosen settlements. ---
**Author:** ![Lethal\_Babydoll](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3be4f8/32.png) [@Lethal\_Babydoll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lethal_Babydoll)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-that-episode-simply-never-happened-and-youll-not-convince-me-otherwise-spoilers-likely/525995/90 "2010-01-25T17:58:40Z")
_The Hungry and the Hunted_ episode of **Sports Night**. Jeremy turned out to be such a wonderful character, but it took me a long time to not want to gag when he was on the screen after the way he was portrayed it that episode, which was the 3rd in the series. I almost stopped watching the show that early. Glad I stuck with it. That was a neat, mostly forgotten series ---
**Author:** ![Icerigger](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icerigger/32/432_2.png) [@Icerigger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icerigger)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-that-episode-simply-never-happened-and-youll-not-convince-me-otherwise-spoilers-likely/525995/91 "2010-01-25T18:02:27Z")
> [@Silverstreak Wonder](#): > > The worst was an original Star Trek, with them on alien planet and in the OK Corral with 1800’s gunslingers, that episode should be burned up for all time. I don’t know about that, **Spectre of the Gun** had some cool music and has there even been a better portrayal of “the souless” gunmen and their slow march to the OK Corral? It’s very creepy. ---
**Author:** ![Joe\_Kerrman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/45deac/32.png) [@Joe\_Kerrman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joe_Kerrman)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2010, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-that-episode-simply-never-happened-and-youll-not-convince-me-otherwise-spoilers-likely/525995/92 "2010-01-27T03:34:43Z")
I’ll play along for a minute and say **The Gilmore Girls.** Rory never stole that boat, OK? And never quit college either. But to take a slightly different tack, am I the only one who stops movies where it suits me (and Jo Kerrwoman)? In “The Notebook”: We don’t need to see the old people die together. We just like the love story. When she picks him, we’re done, movie’s over. In “Something’s Gotta Give”, Kerrfamily style: Diane Keaton picks Keanu Reeves and goes to Paris with him. They live happily ever after. The End. Jack Nicholson dies. Or something. Who cares? ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2010, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-that-episode-simply-never-happened-and-youll-not-convince-me-otherwise-spoilers-likely/525995/93 "2010-01-27T05:51:31Z")
Quoth **The Tooth** , re: Galactica: > [@](#): > > [spoiler]There was a nebula that Starbuck recognized in the temple on Kobol that isn’t in our sky. Those markers didn’t show our night sky. > > Orion became prominent in the background towards the end of the series, that’s the only familiar constellation I remember from the show. It’s a bit of dramatic license to show us the Galactica was near our neck of the woods, a place where Orion would look like Orion, even if a star is a degree or two out of place; we wouldn’t notice on TV. That Orion was recognizably Orion is all that matters.[/spoiler] [spoiler]The nebula was either the Lagoon or the Triffid, I can’t remember which, but both are in fact in [del]Sagitaron[/del]Sagittarius, and it was actually recognizable. Not visible to the naked eye, maybe, but the temple on Kobol was a glorified planetarium show, and planetarium shows often show things not visible to the naked eye. Oh, and a nitpick, but I think it was Gaeta who recognized the nebula, not Starbuck. I understand the desire to show a recognizable constellation, but Orion was the wrong choice. All of the stars in Orion are so far away that it’d still be recognizable across a swath of space hundreds of lightyears across. It’s probably the single constellation which would change least as you got further away from Earth. The Big Dipper would have worked much better.[/spoiler] ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2010, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-that-episode-simply-never-happened-and-youll-not-convince-me-otherwise-spoilers-likely/525995/94 "2010-01-27T19:15:05Z")
> [@bouv](#): > > Episode? Wasn’t it a whole season? Speaking of which, the last season of _Roseanne_. Also, it may be worth mentioning that _Woman King_ and _Black Market_, combined, take up less viewing time than the finale. ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2010, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-that-episode-simply-never-happened-and-youll-not-convince-me-otherwise-spoilers-likely/525995/95 "2010-01-27T19:47:47Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > … > I understand the desire to show a recognizable constellation… I did my Doper duty a while back and tried to track down where Galactica was based on the star positions, here’s my post where I played with the constellation’s star positions. It actually varied greatly once you got to around around +40 light years. My photobucket pics expired though, I’ll have to see if I can dredge them up. [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=465092&highlight=orion](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=465092&highlight=orion) ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2010, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-that-episode-simply-never-happened-and-youll-not-convince-me-otherwise-spoilers-likely/525995/96 "2010-01-27T21:40:51Z")
Booth’s brain tumor coma fantasy from last season’s Bones finale. Worst… episode… ever! The Lost episode where we learn the origin of Jack’s tattoo. Oh, hey, there’s Bai Ling again. Do we have a vomit smiley yet? ---
**Author:** ![Pushkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ee59a6/32.png) [@Pushkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pushkin)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2010, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-that-episode-simply-never-happened-and-youll-not-convince-me-otherwise-spoilers-likely/525995/97 "2010-01-27T22:29:59Z")
> [@alphaboi867](#): > > These Are the Voyages, the series finale of **Star Trek: Enterprise**. It’s bad enough that the show was starting to get really good in season 4 (when Bermaga stepped back), but the finale was an atrocity. Hell, it was a fucking lost episode of TNG. The entire show took place in the holodeck. Even the actors hated it. I was going to nominate TNG’s own [Shades of Gray](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shades_of_Gray_%28TNG_episode%29), but yes, you’re right. Little as I liked that show, it was a lot more interesting once they’d gotten over the whole void and sphere rubbish. That final episode really was the f’ in the a’ for fans that Jolene Blakok reputedly called it. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2010, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-that-episode-simply-never-happened-and-youll-not-convince-me-otherwise-spoilers-likely/525995/98 "2010-01-27T22:53:46Z")
> [@Silverstreak\_Wonder](#): > > The worst was an original Star Trek, with them on alien planet and in the OK Corral with 1800’s gunslingers, that episode should be burned up for all time. Now hold on just a second, there. This wasn’t one of those episodes where history just _ **happened** _ to unfold so as to look a heck of a lot like Earth back when – be it that planet where people independently developed the American flag and recited both the Pledge of Allegiance and the Preamble to the Constitution while opposing Chinese-looking Commies, or the one with a Roman Empire where guys with names like “Maximus” and “Claudius” watch gladiators fight in the arena while those who follow the Son of God preach nonviolence, or whatever. It wasn’t even one of those episodes where Federation meddling had increasingly swept the planet to produce an entire worldwide culture based on '20s-era gangland Chicago or '40s-era Nazi Germany or whatever backlot was available at the time. It was that our heroes met a bunch of I Said No Trespassing telepaths, and realized from the start that everything they saw was a fake-looking illusory construct being dreamed up at them – complete with a saloon and gunslingers and whatever other bits-and-pieces details Jim Kirk _ **figured** _ were pulled out of his mind, for reasons that got patiently explained to him. It’s not some alien planet where the OK Corral was around before they arrived; Wyatt Earp and Doc Holliday and all the rest _ **weren’t** _ actually down there until the hallucinated scenario started to play out – sure as our heroes eventually bull their way through that contrived situation by concluding that imagined bullets can’t really kill them. The aliens, now suitably impressed, dissolve the illusion and start talking diplomacy. And they’re a bit perplexed: “Captain Kirk. You did not kill. Is this the way of your kind?” “It is. We fight only when there’s no choice.” They’d apparently expected something more primitive – and with good reason: “You wanted to kill, didn’t you?” “But he _ **didn’t** _ kill, Mister Spock.” “But he _ **wanted** _ to, Doctor.” “Is that the way it seemed to you, Mister Spock?” “Yes, Captain.” “Mister Spock, you’re absolutely right. That’s exactly the way it was.” Whereupon they end the episode with one of those classic Roddenberry back-and-forth-and-forth-and-back discussions about how mankind sure was a heck of a lot more ready to kill back then, such that humanity’s survival depended on overcoming our instinct for violence, such that a vast alliance could someday get built around like-minded people who share a belief in establishing peaceful relations while seeking out new life and new civilizations. Plus you’ve got Uhura referencing her knowledge of Swahili, and McCoy trying to kit-bash the right compounds for improvised tranquilizers, and Spock doing the Vulcan mind-meld and Scotty knocking back a stiff drink, and nobody saying Brain And Brain What Is Brain – so what’s not to like? ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2010, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-that-episode-simply-never-happened-and-youll-not-convince-me-otherwise-spoilers-likely/525995/99 "2010-01-27T23:07:12Z")
> [@Silverstreak\_Wonder](#): > > Other silliness included a celestial department store and other such horrible plot ideas. Space hippies! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tooth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c67d28/32.png) [@The\_Tooth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tooth)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2010, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-that-episode-simply-never-happened-and-youll-not-convince-me-otherwise-spoilers-likely/525995/100 "2010-01-27T23:23:19Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Quoth **The Tooth** , re: Galactica:[spoiler]The nebula was either the Lagoon or the Triffid, I can’t remember which, but both are in fact in [del]Sagitaron[/del]Sagittarius, and it was actually recognizable. Not visible to the naked eye, maybe, but the temple on Kobol was a glorified planetarium show, and planetarium shows often show things not visible to the naked eye. Oh, and a nitpick, but I think it was Gaeta who recognized the nebula, not Starbuck. > > I understand the desire to show a recognizable constellation, but Orion was the wrong choice. All of the stars in Orion are so far away that it’d still be recognizable across a swath of space hundreds of lightyears across. It’s probably the single constellation which would change least as you got further away from Earth. The Big Dipper would have worked much better.[/spoiler] It’s not that important, and maybe they were hundreds of light years away when we could identify Orion in their sky. It’s just a hint that they’re in our neck of the woods anyway. I’m not going to pick nit over what Orion would really look like from where they are after I’ve accepted the fact that the Windsor knot was developed by Colonials through parallel evolution. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-that-episode-simply-never-happened-and-youll-not-convince-me-otherwise-spoilers-likely/525995.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorry-that-episode-simply-never-happened-and-youll-not-convince-me-otherwise-spoilers-likely/525995.md?page=6)