# Sounds of Silence **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 16, 2024, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sounds-of-silence/1008888 "2024-10-16T22:33:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2024, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sounds-of-silence/1008888/1 "2024-10-16T22:33:16Z")
I was thinking about making a thread about how I made Son-of-a-wrek do the cabbage patch dance to get in the back door, in the past. It was hilarious. I thought that would be a funny story to put on the Dope. Bad, bad, bad title could be fun. People would get a chuckle, maybe. Or a OMG, I did that. Or at worst, a groan, “that Beck she’s goofy”. But I cannot. Apparently my stories need to be in a _blog_. First off I’ve never heard of that, til I heard it here. Second, isn’t that from bygone eras? I came here to talk directly to folks. Talking to a vacuum, to an empty space is not what I perceived when I joined. I paid for that privilege a few years. I paid for a couple of other people. Tuba fixed that up for me. I say that not to brag, but to show you how I believed in this place. I believed it was worth paying for. Not that anyone must. But I wanted to. To do my tiny part. I could say, this was my place. Finally. I found a community. Not my family. Not my medical places. A place I could _actually_ speak coherent (mostly) sentences to. All these years of talking to my personal empty space(my brain) now I have found a place where actual human beings would hear my words. No anxiety. No stuttering issues. No misunderstanding my sign language, No one looking at my scarred face. No one trying to form my words with their mouth. No fear, sez I. @dropzone encouraged me. But I just lurked. He pushed me to post. He’s said, you have lots to say, girl, Say it! So I did. I was free. The 1000s of stories about my weird existence could be enjoyed and appreciated by others. Yeah. So I thought. How quaint of me to think folks would accept me for _me_. I know I’m not perfect. I embellish. I over express. Things that freak me out alittle might be the norm for others. I was fine with that. Their experience was exactly what I wanted to hear back. I remember specific posts where people said “girl, you ain’t right, no one has that problem. It’s just you”. And I loved it. But, then… Well, we know what happened. I’m not leaving the Dope. It seems I have to be different. No more badx3 titles. No more dropping my anecdotes into a thread. No more “I think”…“my preference”…“looks like to me”…“IMO”. None of that. Can’t be tolerated by the smartest and brightest. Couldn’t I have just been one of the dipsticks? ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2024, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sounds-of-silence/1008888/2 "2024-10-17T00:42:17Z")
I was told. I was warned. If you post that they’ll take it straight to the pit. Every thread I make, every thing I say will go to that misappropriatly named _mild pit_ thread. So wrong. And yes my son doing a silly dance on the deck is/was funny. He doesn’t mind doing silly things to make me laugh. You know why? Because he’s fun, friendly and game. No. I don’t expect everyone to love me. God, no. I’ve never believed anyone ever knew I was in the room but my kids and grandkids. That’s ok. I’m ok not being noticed or bothered. The Dope has changed for me. If you don’t see that you’re blind. Forever changed. It’s sad. Didn’t have to be this way. ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2024, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sounds-of-silence/1008888/3 "2024-10-17T00:46:44Z")
People worry about you. When your posts seem totally off the wall, we have good reason to be concerned. Right now you seem to have your feelings hurt because people didn’t validate your post. Sometimes you have a swing and a miss.No reason to pick up your ball and go home. No one is saying you have to be “generic poster”, but you have to accept that it isn’t always going to be lots of affirmation. StG ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2024, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sounds-of-silence/1008888/4 "2024-10-17T00:53:15Z")
The problem is I didn’t expect any one to affirm my post. It was innocent. An observation. It didn’t need to be responded to at all. I’m not going anywhere. I’m just sayin’ ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2024, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sounds-of-silence/1008888/5 "2024-10-17T01:56:46Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > The problem is I didn’t expect any one to affirm my post. It was innocent. It wasn’t innocent. It was sexist. It was inadvertently sexist. When you know better, you can do better. Post your story all you want, but before you talk about what “type” of people someone is, based purely on their appearance, and how that appearance predicts their engagement in traditionally gendered work, it’s worth taking a moment to reflect. You’ll be happier. > [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Didn’t have to be this way. This, I agree with. You have the power to change how it is. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2024, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sounds-of-silence/1008888/6 "2024-10-17T02:06:58Z")
How can I make you believe that was never in my mind. I don’t think in those terms. I don’t make judgements on people because of gender, race or politics. I just don’t. I can only see what I see. I’ve repeatedly said this on this board. If Walz is a cook, nice. I don’t really care. I made an observation. An innocent, unimportant observation on what I think about his posted recipe, in a donation seeking YouTube or Tiktok post. That I’m sure he’s not even aware of. The rest of the world is not talking in my ear. I’m sorry, it was not racist, sexist, bigoted in any way you can dream up. Either you’re looking for it and are jaded enough to think everyone thinks in that manner or you just don’t want to believe me. For reasons. ETA. I was very offended you judged me and straight up called me a liar in the other thread. Is that sexist of you? Do you think all women are simple minded and are liars? ETA how about you change. Mind your own thoughts and quit policing mine. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2024, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sounds-of-silence/1008888/7 "2024-10-17T02:15:46Z")
I think this is the loudest “Sounds of Silence” I have _ever_ heard. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2024, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sounds-of-silence/1008888/8 "2024-10-17T02:17:00Z")
I’m silently screaming. ---
**Author:** ![Krav\_Manga](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/krav_manga/32/3153_2.png) [@Krav\_Manga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Krav_Manga)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2024, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sounds-of-silence/1008888/9 "2024-10-17T02:24:13Z")
> What has violence ever accomplished? What has it ever created? No martyr’s cause has ever been stilled by an assassin’s bullet. No wrongs have ever been righted by riots and civil disorders. A sniper is only a coward, not a hero; and an uncontrolled or uncontrollable mob is only the voice of madness, not the voice of the people. Robert Kennedy /s ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2024, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sounds-of-silence/1008888/10 "2024-10-17T02:41:55Z")
Put the Pit on ignore and never go there. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2024, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sounds-of-silence/1008888/11 "2024-10-17T02:42:11Z")
Wow…/s about Robt. Kennedy talking about his brother. That’s terrible. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2024, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sounds-of-silence/1008888/12 "2024-10-17T03:06:04Z")
I’d love to be able to do that and get the words outta my head. They can’t be erased. It should never happen. Ok the the pit is for venting. What are we? Children who need a time out. Do you have a venting space in your marriage, your job? No? So we act like civilized adults who don’t bully, call names, rage on and pick apart. The pit should be there but not to abuse someone with a silly thought. Not an excuse to wield sticks and throw stones at. A third party, a public figure an event. Pit it til you can’t type any more. But eating our own is barbaric and wrong. It’s an outrage. IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2024, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sounds-of-silence/1008888/13 "2024-10-17T03:13:57Z")
Well then, turn the Pit off and never go there. My SDMB experience is much better since I discovered that feature. You won’t get reminders. I don’t think you get a reminder even if you’re named. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2024, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sounds-of-silence/1008888/14 "2024-10-17T03:26:29Z")
I’m not sure but if your officially named with the thingy @ you’ll know. It may be they don’t do that over there for reasons. Probably mostly to stay under the cover of anonymity or something. But I’ll get told about it. All well and good, but I already know. ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2024, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sounds-of-silence/1008888/15 "2024-10-17T03:38:49Z")
Have you turned that thread to “Normal” from “Tracking”? Because if you have a thread on “Tracking” you will get reminders about that thread, even if you’ve muted the category that the thread is in. There’s a good discussion here: > [@How do I (successfully) Mute an Entire SDMB Category](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-i-successfully-mute-an-entire-sdmb-category/983778): > > 4 or 5 months ago I finally had had enough of seeing posts from one of the categories here (e.g. Great Debates, Factual Questions, etc.) so I looked up how to “mute” the whole category. I proceeded to do so but afterward there were still many threads from that category showing up in various lists. By “lists” I mostly mean what comes up when I click on “Latest” but I sometimes generate other lists as well (“New” for example). Now, I’m pretty sure that I’m missing something veeeeeery simple but … All I can say is that I’ve never got a reminder from the Pit since I muted it. (Maybe I’m so bland that no-one mentions me.) ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2024, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sounds-of-silence/1008888/16 "2024-10-17T03:48:55Z")
Thank you. I will see can I do that. This is helpful advice. ❤ (Oh, they talk about you everyday…I’m kidding. I wouldn’t know if they do or not) ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2024, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sounds-of-silence/1008888/17 "2024-10-17T04:02:41Z")
Fortunately, we appear to be able to talk about muting particular forums, even if we can’t talk about the posters on our personal Ignore list. 🎶 “I have a little list, they’ll none of them be missed …” 🎶 ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2024, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sounds-of-silence/1008888/18 "2024-10-17T04:23:05Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > I think this is the loudest “Sounds of Silence” I have _ever_ heard. It’s by a cover band, Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Lawry’s Seasoning Salt. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2024, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sounds-of-silence/1008888/19 "2024-10-17T04:32:51Z")
I don’t know about that. People tell me all the time I’m on their ignore list. Seems like they read a bunch of stuff I type anyway. They complain loudly. ---
**Author:** ![LH75](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lh75/32/4438_2.png) [@LH75](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LH75)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2024, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sounds-of-silence/1008888/20 "2024-10-17T10:41:58Z")
I mostly lurk here and my opinion is probably not worth much but I see the SDMB as a much more enjoyable place with our friend Beck posting whatever she has to say. {{{Beckdawreck}}}} [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sounds-of-silence/1008888.md?page=2)