# South Park 11-16-05: Tom Cruise won't come out of the Closet and Scientology. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 17, 2005, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/south-park-11-16-05-tom-cruise-wont-come-out-of-the-closet-and-scientology/331437 "2005-11-17T03:16:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Lochdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/edb3f5/32.png) [@Lochdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lochdale)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/south-park-11-16-05-tom-cruise-wont-come-out-of-the-closet-and-scientology/331437/61 "2005-11-18T05:12:29Z")
> [@Little Nemo](#): > > The point isn’t to win in court - the point is to harass your opponents into silence. Parker and Stone are two people - what happens if a different Scientologist files a lawsuit against them every week? Sure, Parker and Stone may win each one - but each one will require some time and money on their part. Most people eventually collapse under the wieght of constant legal battles and give up, agreeing to some public recanting and apology to make the Scientologists stop. That’s utterly terrifying. However, I’m thinking a good defense might be a counter-suit against the COS and perhaps a RICO action by the Feds? ---
**Author:** ![BooBoo316](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e0b2c6/32.png) [@BooBoo316](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BooBoo316)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/south-park-11-16-05-tom-cruise-wont-come-out-of-the-closet-and-scientology/331437/62 "2005-11-18T06:15:12Z")
> [@HPL](#): > > I only have three-fiddy. Damn it, **HPL** , you can’t give ‘em three-fiddy. Of course they gonna keep comin’ around if you give 'em three-fitty. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/south-park-11-16-05-tom-cruise-wont-come-out-of-the-closet-and-scientology/331437/63 "2005-11-18T06:22:26Z")
> [@](#): > > However, I’m thinking a good defense might be a counter-suit against the COS and perhaps a RICO action by the Feds? How? Could you sue the Vatican City just because a bunch of Catholics are suing you? Sure it might look like an organized campaign by the Church of Scientology if all of these individual Scientologists sue you, but how are you going to prove it’s a conspiracy? Besides, even if you have some solid evidence, you still have to file your own lawsuit and take it to court - which plays into the Scientologist strategy of wrecking your life by making you spend all your time and money on lawsuits. It’s a battle of attrition and the Church of Scientology has got the numbers on its side. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/south-park-11-16-05-tom-cruise-wont-come-out-of-the-closet-and-scientology/331437/64 "2005-11-18T06:25:54Z")
Besides it’s all according to scripture: > [@](#): > > The purpose of the suit is to harass and discourage rather than to win. The law can be used very easily to harass, and enough harassment on somebody who is simply on the thin edge anyway, well knowing that he is not authorized, will generally be sufficient to cause his professional decease. If possible, of course, ruin him utterly. > > L. Ron Hubbard, A Manual on the Dissemination of Material, 1955 ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/south-park-11-16-05-tom-cruise-wont-come-out-of-the-closet-and-scientology/331437/65 "2005-11-18T06:59:23Z")
They’re also not above breaking the law. They’ve framed people for making bomb threats, painted people as child molestors, terrorists, etc. The owner of one anti-Scientology website is now making accusations that he was kidnapped, drugged and framed with a crime. If it were any other religion, I’d think the guy was crazy. But with the Scientologists, it’s completely plausible. These people are seriously fucking scary. They could give the Russian mafia lessons. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 8:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/south-park-11-16-05-tom-cruise-wont-come-out-of-the-closet-and-scientology/331437/66 "2005-11-18T08:35:51Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > They’re also not above breaking the law. And you didn’t even mention Operation Snow White. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 8:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/south-park-11-16-05-tom-cruise-wont-come-out-of-the-closet-and-scientology/331437/67 "2005-11-18T08:40:11Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > And you didn’t even mention Operation Snow White. Probably because that’s the least scary of their deeds. I would not put outright murder past these fuckers. They’re fucking SCARY. ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 8:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/south-park-11-16-05-tom-cruise-wont-come-out-of-the-closet-and-scientology/331437/68 "2005-11-18T08:48:01Z")
> [@Little Nemo](#): > > How? Could you sue the Vatican City just because a bunch of Catholics are suing you? Sure it might look like an organized campaign by the Church of Scientology if all of these individual Scientologists sue you, but how are you going to prove it’s a conspiracy? Besides, even if you have some solid evidence, you still have to file your own lawsuit and take it to court - which plays into the Scientologist strategy of wrecking your life by making you spend all your time and money on lawsuits. It’s a battle of attrition and the Church of Scientology has got the numbers on its side. Vatican City/Holy See is a soveriegn country. It can’t be sued (neither can the Pope). The only way it could be sued is if another country filed a suit in the International Court of Justice (though I don’t the Vatican ever submitted itself to it’s jurisdiction). The Church of Scientology isn’t melded with a national government. It can be sued. CoS was found in contempt of court in Canada. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/south-park-11-16-05-tom-cruise-wont-come-out-of-the-closet-and-scientology/331437/69 "2005-11-18T19:05:49Z")
> [@alphaboi867](#): > > Vatican City/Holy See is a soveriegn country. It can’t be sued (neither can the Pope). Cite please? ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/south-park-11-16-05-tom-cruise-wont-come-out-of-the-closet-and-scientology/331437/70 "2005-11-18T19:09:05Z")
Here’s a list of famous Scientologists (including ex-Scientologists): [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List\_of\_Scientologists](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Scientologists) Very . . . disturbing. What is it about Hollywood? Lisa Marie Presley is one . . . That’s why her marriage to Michael Jackson didn’t work out. Michael just can **not** handle weirdness! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/south-park-11-16-05-tom-cruise-wont-come-out-of-the-closet-and-scientology/331437/71 "2005-11-18T19:22:33Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Probably because that’s the least scary of their deeds. I would not put outright murder past these fuckers. > > They’re fucking SCARY. Operation Snow White? Do tell… ---
**Author:** ![BluePitbull](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e9bcb4/32.png) [@BluePitbull](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BluePitbull)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/south-park-11-16-05-tom-cruise-wont-come-out-of-the-closet-and-scientology/331437/72 "2005-11-18T19:24:04Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Here’s a list of famous Scientologists (including ex-Scientologists): [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List\_of\_Scientologists](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Scientologists) Very . . . disturbing. What is it about Hollywood? > > Lisa Marie Presley is one . . . That’s why her marriage to Michael Jackson didn’t work out. Michael just can **not** handle weirdness! 😉 I wonder if anyone has accused Scientologist of controlling Hollywood. And do they deny that “BATTLEFIELD EARTH” was based on their doctrine? Or Travolta was in that movie? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/south-park-11-16-05-tom-cruise-wont-come-out-of-the-closet-and-scientology/331437/73 "2005-11-18T19:34:24Z")
> [@alphaboi867](#): > > Vatican City/Holy See is a soveriegn country. It can’t be sued (neither can the Pope). The only way it could be sued is if another country filed a suit in the International Court of Justice (though I don’t the Vatican ever submitted itself to it’s jurisdiction). The Church of Scientology isn’t melded with a national government. It can be sued. CoS was found in contempt of court in Canada. You might not be able to sue the Vatican, per se, but you can definitely sue the church, or at least, representatives of. You can also sue specific dioceses-wasn’t the archdiocese of Boston sued over the sex abuse scandal? I believe Cardinal Law was. So no, the Catholic church isn’t immune to a lawsuit, nor would the Church of Scientology be. And they’re not a sovereign nation like the Vatican. [Operation Snow White](http://www.xenu.net/archive/go/ops/go732/go732.htm) [Wiki on OSW](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Snow_White) [Other operations](http://www.spaink.net/cos/SecrServ/ops/ops.htm) Basically, they raided the IRS in order to steal documents unfavorable to the cult. One of those convicted was Mary Sue Hubbard, wife of L. Ron. ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/south-park-11-16-05-tom-cruise-wont-come-out-of-the-closet-and-scientology/331437/74 "2005-11-18T19:36:55Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Here’s a list of famous Scientologists (including ex-Scientologists): [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List\_of\_Scientologists](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Scientologists) Catherine Bell! :o ☹ Now I would almost not do her. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/south-park-11-16-05-tom-cruise-wont-come-out-of-the-closet-and-scientology/331437/75 "2005-11-18T19:43:32Z")
Maybe this belongs in IMHO – but what’s the Dopesensus on Tom Cruise? After that video of him having sex with second wife Nicole Kidman, and after he (?) knocked up Katie Holmes, does he still set off your gaydar? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/south-park-11-16-05-tom-cruise-wont-come-out-of-the-closet-and-scientology/331437/76 "2005-11-18T19:50:53Z")
At this point, **BrainGlutton** , I don’t even think you could reasonably tell, he’s just completely batshit insane. He could be gay, or it could just be the fact that he’s a tightly wound control freak nutjob cult member. ---
**Author:** ![Lochdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/edb3f5/32.png) [@Lochdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lochdale)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/south-park-11-16-05-tom-cruise-wont-come-out-of-the-closet-and-scientology/331437/77 "2005-11-18T20:05:27Z")
There was a video of him and Nicole Kidman? I’m amazed about some of the people on that list. Van Morrisson? Jerry Seinfeld? ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/south-park-11-16-05-tom-cruise-wont-come-out-of-the-closet-and-scientology/331437/78 "2005-11-18T20:06:12Z")
You know I never understood all the Tom is gay stuff. He is a flake and a poor actor but I never thought he was gay or cared. What made the closet joke so funny were all the stupid and unsubstantiated rumors about him being gay. Jim ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/south-park-11-16-05-tom-cruise-wont-come-out-of-the-closet-and-scientology/331437/79 "2005-11-18T20:09:40Z")
> [@Lochdale](#): > > There was a video of him and Nicole Kidman? > > I’m amazed about some of the people on that list. Van Morrisson? Jerry Seinfeld? I think the list is everyone who ever dabbled in Scientology (as in, took the free personality test for shits and giggles)-I don’t think Seinfeld’s involved. The video of him and Nicole would probably be from the movie, _Eyes Wide Shut_. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/south-park-11-16-05-tom-cruise-wont-come-out-of-the-closet-and-scientology/331437/80 "2005-11-18T20:18:56Z")
> [@Lochdale](#): > > There was a video of him and Nicole Kidman? I’ve never seen it, but it was in the news a few years ago, purportedly as something Tom & Nicole had made for their own amusement that somehow slipped out of their possession. (As opposed to being a way for Tom to shrilly scream at the world, “See, I do **so** have sex with my wife!”) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/south-park-11-16-05-tom-cruise-wont-come-out-of-the-closet-and-scientology/331437.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/south-park-11-16-05-tom-cruise-wont-come-out-of-the-closet-and-scientology/331437.md?page=5)