The prize for coldest (but funny) headline goes to the Betoota Advocate (our equivalent of The Onion):
“Cooker Finally Gets His Shots“
“Cooker” being Australian slang for a conspiracy theorist crazy person.
In a localish to me story, a sovereign citizen named Gregory Maxwell shot a cop in the head after a traffic stop. He’s acting as his own attorney in his trial, which should go well for him.
Serious question. If someone elects to act as his own lawyer, can he later claim incompetent representation on appeal? What if his defense was objectively shitty?
Nope! I’ve seen a few sovcit trial videos lately where the judge specifically tells them that if they represent themselves, they are waiving that right.
And folks question why the police act the way they do during stops involving SovCits and during stops in general.
Not that this excuses the excesses we constantly see but it does explain them.
They’ll try anyway.
“The HUMAN PERSON does not recognize this sentence of 640 years at hard labor under the prison!”
Followed promptly by
Deputy Schmutz: Recognize this, Sir! [Headlock] [handcuffs] [carried off to a holding cell behind the courtroom]
Thanks. That’s what I figured, but wasn’t sure.
I don’t understand why officers waste so much time on these potentially dangerous loons.
I imagine there is a space between being uncooperative and being arrestably uncooperative. The SovCit’s goal amounts to playing in that gap. ISTM that very early in the encounter the LEO needs to make a decision: are they OK just letting the loon go now, or do they want to spend the time to go fishing for that arrestable offense? Then act on that decision.
If our country wasn’t in the middle of a turn to fascism, and our only problem was a growing anarcho-SovCit movement, I might favor altering the vehicle code so operating a car with any of expired / invalid / no plates, registration, or driver’s license is an arrestable offense as such. It certainly is in some other countries and somehow life goes on there.
That’d stop the gamesmanship.
Gregory Maxwell’s trial has literally just now ended. I think the juror read out “guilty” on every charge.
Can’t think of anything.
30-page handwritten appeals and complaints, here we come.
Watch this video of the judge chewing him out before sentencing him to 183 years in prison:
(Actually, I see that that’s the same URL as before, but the text and video of the story have been changed to reflect the sentencing.)
Normally I’m appalled by the extremely harsh sentences normally doled out by US courts, but in this case I’m fine with it. The police officer shot in the head did indeed survive, but he’s in bad shape with severe brain damage and will likely never return to work. There were other officers this guy shot at who could also have been killed.
The sentence of 183 years is just a fictional anomaly arising from the peculiar US justice system, but to the extent that it means that this asshole will never again see the light of day, this is justice well served.
I’ve mentioned this before but the 2025 movie Sovereign is well worth watching. It’s based on a true story. The “sovereign citizen” cult is often funny, but can be truly deadly.
The headline is wrong - it was a trial jury, not a grand jury which convicted this guy - but I’m glad the judge hammered him at sentencing.
It’d be bizarre if we started talking about how a grand jury could convict a ham sandwich.
Well, I’d say that jury’s verdict was appreciably grand.
Yes, yes, I know, I know.
“I’ll be judge, I’ll be jury”
said the cunning sovereign citizen
He’s “the last grandson of Jesus”*, so he knows whereof he speaks.
*and quite possibly his own grandpa.