# Space Bags **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 27, 2006, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/space-bags/354518 "2006-04-27T21:41:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/space-bags/354518/1 "2006-04-27T21:41:01Z")
Space Bags. They seem like a miracle. A strange little space aged miracle that sort of appeals to our love of nano-technology by making everything we have just that much smaller. They promise you will regain control of closets and garages and swear that you can basically zip up a mammoth in an XL, suck him dry with a vacuum cleaner and store him until the Yeti Apocolypse. In fact, this is a bitchfaced lie. After pleading like a child seeing a toy commercial, I allowed my husband to order the SEVEN, SEVEN PACKAGE SPACE BAG ULTRA SPECIAL ORDER IF YOU CALL NOW! His hand shook as he took phone to ear. YES. YES, THE SPACE BAGS, I NEED THEM. You see, we have an inordinate amount of pillows and bedding as a result of poor wedding registry skills and our closets are like big Michelin Man coffins. So the bags came and I’m telling you we were dancing around as we tore open the box, and I went to fetch a comforter and we, of course, without reading any directions, shoved that mother in there as fast and as angrily as possible. Then we sealed the vacuum cleaner on there and we sucked and sucked and sucked…and paused…and squished, and examined, and sucked and sucked. OK, it was flat, just like the commercials. Blanket jerky. We put it in the closet, and no shit, 3 hours later it had doubled in size. WHAT THE? We got out the handy Ziploc tool they give you to close the bags, assuming that they weren’t sealed correctly and re-sealed the bag, pushing it further down to the bottom, and then sucked it again. Flat again. Hubby threw it in the back computer room and closed the door so we wouldn’t be tempted to prod it. The next day, like Christmas morning, I awoke early and tiptoed back there…and for the love of the lord, it was fully inflated. It looked like a fat blanket shoved in a bag. I threw it around a little bit in anger and then went to get the Ziploc-y thing to seal it YET AGAIN. Then I took the whole blanket out, refolded it with significant force and shoved it in there, sucking it again. As if in revenge, it loosed itself faster than ever and now I’ve shoved those fucking bags in the closet where the bedding is supposed to be and ceremoniously threw ONE of the Ziploc tools out the window as if liberating myself. I think a squirrel took it. Obviously, my husband said he’s going to ‘tinker’ with it, as if it’s complicated electrical product, but it’s not, it’s a huge fucking freezer bag that doesn’t seal and I wasted my fucking money and sucking time on them. Space Bags. Don’t do it. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/space-bags/354518/2 "2006-04-27T21:50:35Z")
So the real question: did you ever read the directions? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/space-bags/354518/3 "2006-04-27T21:54:31Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > So the real question: did you ever read the directions? 😉 As a matter of fact, yes. I hate reading directions, husband lives for them. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/space-bags/354518/4 "2006-04-27T21:58:19Z")
> [@tiny ham](#): > > As a matter of fact, yes. I hate reading directions, husband lives for them. 🙂 Sounds familiar. ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/space-bags/354518/5 "2006-04-27T22:03:43Z")
> [@tiny ham](#): > > …I wasted my fucking money and **sucking time** on them. This, truly, is the tragedy. Sucking time should ne’er be wasted. For shame, but you have been suckered. ---
**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/space-bags/354518/6 "2006-04-27T22:10:07Z")
We had the same experience with our space bags. They lasted a little longer though. Maybe a week. All it takes is one tiny little hole in the bag and so long vacuum. What a crap product. ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/space-bags/354518/7 "2006-04-27T22:11:26Z")
Almost every sentence in the OP can be followed up with, “And there we lay, spent, on the bed.” But that’d be crude. -Joe ---
**Author:** ![ladybug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/46a35a/32.png) [@ladybug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladybug)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/space-bags/354518/8 "2006-04-27T22:18:17Z")
It seems that your experience isn’t uncommon. [Link](http://www.epinions.com/As_Seen_on_TV-Space_Bag_Combo/display_~reviews). ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/space-bags/354518/9 "2006-04-27T22:18:27Z")
“In fact, this is a bitchfaced lie.” And there we lay, spent, on the bed. I am nothing if not crude. ---
**Author:** ![Auntbeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Auntbeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Auntbeast)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/space-bags/354518/10 "2006-04-27T22:25:34Z")
[http://www.infomercialscams.com/space\_bag.htm](http://www.infomercialscams.com/space_bag.htm) Thanks, they have been tempting me. ---
**Author:** ![tremorviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@tremorviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tremorviolet)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/space-bags/354518/11 "2006-04-27T22:39:51Z")
Well, I have exactly one Space bag I use for my down comforter in the summer. Works just fine, even though I bought a bag slightly smaller than recommended. (Although, it usually winds up sitting in a wrinkled, brick-like mass on top of my dresser all summer, maybe it’s the storage in the closet the bags object to?) ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/space-bags/354518/12 "2006-04-27T23:16:01Z")
They work fine for me. I packed a down comforter, a fur blanket, and oodles of pillows and quilts and things into my cedar chest last year with nary a problem. Freed up a lot of space in the linen cupboard in the process. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/space-bags/354518/13 "2006-04-27T23:48:14Z")
I had the same experience as the OP, only I didn’t buy as many and I couldn’t put it as eloquently. I would have just said Space Bags suck and then they blow. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/space-bags/354518/14 "2006-04-27T23:53:23Z")
> [@Morgyn](#): > > They work fine for me. I packed a down comforter, a fur blanket, and oodles of pillows and quilts and things into my cedar chest last year with nary a problem. Freed up a lot of space in the linen cupboard in the process. How dare you rub your miracles in our faces? ---
**Author:** ![Turek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/turek/32/18782_2.png) [@Turek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turek)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2006, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/space-bags/354518/15 "2006-04-28T01:51:31Z")
> [@tiny ham](#): > > You see, we have an inordinate amount of pillows and bedding as a result of poor wedding registry skills and our closets are like big Michelin Man coffins. This is the funniest sentance I read today. ---
**Author:** ![Rhubarb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/59ef9b/32.png) [@Rhubarb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhubarb)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2006, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/space-bags/354518/16 "2006-04-28T03:29:56Z")
:grumble, grumble - damned hamsters ate my post: In scanning the thread titles, I at first saw this as Space _Bongs_. Oh well, I guess that’s one small step for mankind not yet taken. 🆒 I know this is the pit and not GQ, but it’s possible that your Space _Bags_ could be repaired. If you inflate them and then place them under water, you can find the air leak. Assuming it’s not in the zipper part (it’s probably along a seam), then a small application of Goop[sup]TM[/sup] glue would fix them right up and you could finally experience the American Dream of having neat, tidy closets. [sub]I have this mental image of the Michelin man squished into one of these things with his hands spread on either side of his bluish face. :eek: [/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2006, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/space-bags/354518/17 "2006-04-28T05:40:18Z")
You should buy yourself a Bedazzler and turn your Space Bags into real conversation pieces! Or get some Ginsu knives and carve your Space Bags into ribbons. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2006, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/space-bags/354518/18 "2006-04-28T05:47:56Z")
> [@Snooooopy](#): > > You should buy yourself a Bedazzler and turn your Space Bags into real conversation pieces! Or get some Ginsu knives and carve your Space Bags into ribbons. No, no! What she needs is FLOAM. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2006, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/space-bags/354518/19 "2006-04-28T05:52:23Z")
I managed to use a bag to pack my comforters nice and small. But then the can of spray-on hair ruptured and now it looks big again. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2006, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/space-bags/354518/20 "2006-04-28T13:10:08Z")
> [@tiny ham](#): > > You see, we have an inordinate amount of pillows and bedding as a result of poor wedding registry skills and our closets are like big Michelin Man coffins. > _snip_ > > Then we sealed the vacuum cleaner on there and we sucked and sucked and sucked…and paused…and squished, and examined, and sucked and sucked. > _snip_ > > Blanket jerky. > _snip_ > > The next day, like Christmas morning, I awoke early and tiptoed back there…and for the love of the lord, it was fully inflated. It looked like a fat blanket shoved in a bag. > _snip_ > > I think a squirrel took it. Beautiful. Just beautiful. 🙂 And I feel so much better about not getting any Space Bags. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/space-bags/354518.md?page=2)