# Spalding Gray is missing.
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spalding-gray-is-missing/224271
**Category:** Cafe Society
**Created:** [January 13, 2004, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spalding-gray-is-missing/224271 "2004-01-13T17:57:17Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)
#### Post date: [January 13, 2004, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spalding-gray-is-missing/224271/1 "2004-01-13T17:57:17Z")
[CNN](http://www.cnn.com/2004/SHOWBIZ/Movies/01/13/missing.actor/index.html) and other sites are reporting that Spalding Gray has been reported missing. Grays’ wife filed a police report on Sunday night.
Gray has long suffered from depression and his brother, Rockwell, was quoted as saying Gray was depressed over the holidays. BTW, don’t you love a family with kids named Spalding and Rockwell?
Anyway, I hope that this is nothing serious and is just some strange adventure that will appear in his next one man show. Whenever I have been depressed myself, watching _Swimming to Cambodia_ or _Monster in a Box_ has alway been a surefire cure. I guess that Gray doesn’t have anything to chase his blues away.
Like I said, I really hope that this is nothing, but a small part of me fears the worst.
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### Author:  [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)
#### Post date: [January 13, 2004, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spalding-gray-is-missing/224271/2 "2004-01-13T18:40:09Z")
“Adam, I can’t die-- I’m from Sout_hampton_.”
Doesn’t have the same ring to it. ☹
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### Author:  [@Ex\_Machina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ex_Machina)
#### Post date: [January 13, 2004, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spalding-gray-is-missing/224271/3 "2004-01-13T19:59:39Z")
Listening to a monologue by Spalding Gray is one of the few pleasures of my life. It’s a shame when certain entertainers give so much joy to others and receive so little in return.
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### Author:  [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)
#### Post date: [January 13, 2004, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spalding-gray-is-missing/224271/4 "2004-01-13T21:17:48Z")
To say I am not a big fan of his would be an understatement.
However, I certainly don’t wish him the worst.
I seem to recall flipping through the channels not all that long ago and caught a short segment about him and his battle with depression…I even recall him mentioning he once went to a bridge and was considering jumping off. Again, my recollection of this interview/news clip is foggy, but as soon as I read the title of this thread, that comment he made entered my mind.
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### Author:  [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)
#### Post date: [January 13, 2004, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spalding-gray-is-missing/224271/5 "2004-01-13T22:33:12Z")
**Dmark** , shortly before he considered the bridge, he took his sailboat out and went so far as to jump off it, although he changed his mind and climbed back aboard.
God, I hope he’s just having a good binge somewhere.
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### Author:  [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)
#### Post date: [January 14, 2004, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spalding-gray-is-missing/224271/6 "2004-01-14T02:30:47Z")
I met him on a show in '94, for which I was doing craft service. He liked my bagel bites.
God, I hope he’s okay.
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### Author:  [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)
#### Post date: [January 14, 2004, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spalding-gray-is-missing/224271/7 "2004-01-14T06:27:30Z")
The kind of depression that Spalding Gray has isn’t the same as the feelings that can be lifted by watching a movie or listening to funny insights.
I surely hope that he’s okay. He’s one of a kind.
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### Author:  [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)
#### Post date: [January 15, 2004, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spalding-gray-is-missing/224271/8 "2004-01-15T14:50:01Z")
Always liked him (indeed, have a bit of a crush on him). Sincerely hope this is a “Stephen Fry” and not a “John Bowers.”
Despite this release from the press: “the police released a description of what he was wearing when he was last seen—a gray jacket with a blue scarf, a brown sweater, black corduroy pants and brown shoes,” I assure you I had _nothing to do_ with his disappearance.
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### Author:  [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)
#### Post date: [January 15, 2004, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spalding-gray-is-missing/224271/9 "2004-01-15T14:59:43Z")
I heard this yesterday, and was very sad to hear it.
I’m an admirer of his, and went to great lengths to secure European standard VHS tapes of _Swimming to Cambodia_ and _Monster in a Box_. I sincerely hope he’s OK and just getting over what he needs to get over. I’m also saddened that the roots of his depression began in Ireland.
I hope to see one of his monologues live one day.
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### Author:  [@emulsified](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emulsified)
#### Post date: [January 16, 2004, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spalding-gray-is-missing/224271/10 "2004-01-16T04:34:55Z")
I’ve seen him at least 4 times live and hope to again in the future. But the signs don’t seem good.
I remember a part of one of his monologues where he was looking for something to do while feeling a little blue over the holidays so he decided to volunteer for a suicide hotline. They make you take some screening test beforehand. They took him aside and told him to seek out immediate psychiatric help.
I hope he turns up okay.
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### Author:  [@MrSarcasticus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrSarcasticus)
#### Post date: [January 16, 2004, 8:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spalding-gray-is-missing/224271/11 "2004-01-16T08:28:40Z")
Even scarier: Massive head injury=suicidal depression.
He is a major talent. I miss his work. I’d had to thing that a bonk on the head would cause this, but the paperwork is there.
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### Author:  [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)
#### Post date: [January 16, 2004, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spalding-gray-is-missing/224271/12 "2004-01-16T14:56:20Z")
Seems like it’s getting less hopeful:
[Did Spalding Gray Jump From Ferry?](http://www.nynewsday.com/news/local/manhattan/nyc-gray0115,0,3326369.story?coll=nyc-manheadlines-manhattan)
> [@](#):
>
> Sara Vass said Gray’s wife, Kathleen Russo, had received a report from investigators that a Staten Island Ferry employee told police that he had seen Gray, or someone resembling him, riding the ferry late Friday.
>
> …
>
> Gray in September had threatened to jump off the ferry before being stopped by a friend
☹
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### Author:  [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)
#### Post date: [January 16, 2004, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spalding-gray-is-missing/224271/13 "2004-01-16T15:10:41Z")
> [@Eve](#):
>
> “the police released a description of what he was wearing when he was last seen—a gray jacket with a blue scarf, a brown sweater, black corduroy pants and brown shoes,” I assure you I had _nothing to do_ with his disappearance.
Thanks **Eve** for bringing a bit of levity to this thread.
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### Author:  [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)
#### Post date: [January 16, 2004, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spalding-gray-is-missing/224271/14 "2004-01-16T15:14:53Z")
> [@adam yax](#):
>
> Thanks **Eve** for bringing a bit of levity to this thread.
Phew. I thought I was gonna get a Pit thread for that . . .
Problem with a “sighting” is that 75% of the men in NY look like Spaulding Gray.
I do hope he’s in a funk somewhere, maybe holed up in a shelter or a bar or something. In this weather, he wouldn’t even last a night on the street. I must say, this is awfully hard cheese on his family—if you are going to kill yourself, why do so in a way that would cause your family days and days of agony and worry looking for you and wondering where you are?
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### Author:  [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)
#### Post date: [January 16, 2004, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spalding-gray-is-missing/224271/15 "2004-01-16T15:25:59Z")
> [@Eve](#):
>
> if you are going to kill yourself, why do so in a way that would cause your family days and days of agony and worry looking for you and wondering where you are?
My WAG - other than people who hang themselves so that they don’t leave a mess of blood for somebody to clean up, persons who commit suicide don’t appear to have the interests of other people in their mind at all.
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### Author:  [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)
#### Post date: [January 16, 2004, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spalding-gray-is-missing/224271/16 "2004-01-16T15:26:08Z")
> [@Eve](#):
>
> Always liked him (indeed, have a bit of a crush on him). Sincerely hope this is a “Stephen Fry” and not a “John Bowers.”
Pardon my ignorance- I catch the John Bowers ref, but did Stephen Fry once jump off of a bridge? (I know he had a boating accident at Cambridge and considered suicide when he was sentenced to prison, but I don’t know that much else about him outside his work.)
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### Author:  [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)
#### Post date: [January 16, 2004, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spalding-gray-is-missing/224271/17 "2004-01-16T15:47:33Z")
A few years ago, Stephen Fry disappeared and worried the hell out of his friends, who instigated a nationwide search for him. He turned up, said, “oops, sorry, I was having an Episode,” and that was the end of it.
. . . and I thought I was going to have to explain “John Bowers!” . . .
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### Author:  [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)
#### Post date: [January 16, 2004, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spalding-gray-is-missing/224271/18 "2004-01-16T17:23:19Z")
My first thought when I heard the news was, “I hope he knows Cambodia is much too far to swim to”.
Then the news bit mentioned the depression.
I’m a big fan of Spaulding Gray.
I hope he turns up and he’s OK.
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### Author:  [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)
#### Post date: [January 17, 2004, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spalding-gray-is-missing/224271/19 "2004-01-17T14:03:45Z")
> [@Sampiro](#):
>
> Pardon my ignorance- I catch the John Bowers ref, but did Stephen Fry once jump off of a bridge? (I know he had a boating accident at Cambridge and considered suicide when he was sentenced to prison, but I don’t know that much else about him outside his work.)
The talented Mr Fry did a runner from his dressing room just before he was meant to appear on stage in a West End play. He went to Belgium. He has had a few emotional problems in the past - as evidenced by his jail term, which he was sentenced to becuase he stole someone’s credit card and went on a spree all round England. I believe he suffers from bipolar disorder. [Biography](http://www.hollywood.com/celebs/bio/celeb/1673136).
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### Author:  [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)
#### Post date: [January 17, 2004, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spalding-gray-is-missing/224271/20 "2004-01-17T14:19:12Z")
Okay, I’ll admit it – I _didn’t_ get the John Bowers reference. Who he?
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