# Spanish: Usted vs. Tu **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [September 26, 2012, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spanish-usted-vs-tu/635895 "2012-09-26T16:39:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2012, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spanish-usted-vs-tu/635895/1 "2012-09-26T16:39:36Z")
Back in high school Spanish, we learned that, when using the second person singular, we would say “Tu” for someone we were familiar with, and “Usted” for someone we don’t know, or for someone who deserves respect. For example, the teacher is addressed as “Usted,” not as “tu.” Is this convention still used? How about in, say, a commercial? If the pitchman were telling someone “You should [xxx]…” would he say “Tu debes [xxx]…” or “Usted debe… [xxx]” ---
**Author:** ![CookingWithGas](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cookingwithgas/32/485_2.png) [@CookingWithGas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CookingWithGas)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2012, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spanish-usted-vs-tu/635895/2 "2012-09-26T16:42:55Z")
I don’t speak Spanish but the same construct is used in French and Italian, and in France and Italy it is starting to give way a bit and there is a general shift to less formality. But that is just a general trend, and the convention is certainly still used. (I am not sure what they use for the second person in commercials.) ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2012, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spanish-usted-vs-tu/635895/3 "2012-09-26T16:45:14Z")
Yes, although it depends on the culture. I had some spanish professors who expected us to use usted when talking to them and would use tu with us as a matter of course, I had some who used tu and would have us use tu with them and I had some who would match your level of formality. ---
**Author:** ![robcaro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/df705f/32.png) [@robcaro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robcaro)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2012, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spanish-usted-vs-tu/635895/4 "2012-09-26T18:23:14Z")
I speak to my wife, family and close friends as “Tu.” I speak to all other people as “Usted.” I am an American living in Colombia. ---
**Author:** ![Mr\_Downtown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Mr\_Downtown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr_Downtown)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2012, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spanish-usted-vs-tu/635895/5 "2012-09-27T04:02:49Z")
Most Spanish billboards and TV commercials that I see in the US are written as _usted._ ---
**Author:** ![TonySinclair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/49beb7/32.png) [@TonySinclair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TonySinclair)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2012, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spanish-usted-vs-tu/635895/6 "2012-09-27T04:25:54Z")
A rule of thumb is if you are on a first-name basis, use tu. If you would address someone as Mr (Miss, Mrs) Surname in English, use usted. Edit: which is pretty much what you said in the OP, so never mind. ---
**Author:** ![Washoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ecae2f/32.png) [@Washoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Washoe)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2012, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spanish-usted-vs-tu/635895/7 "2012-09-27T04:33:30Z")
According to my former renter, who’s 63 and grew up in East L.A., “naw, Mexicans don’t care about that shit anymore.” Central Americans might get their panties in a bunch if you don’t ‘usted’ them, but Mexicans couldn’t care less. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2012, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spanish-usted-vs-tu/635895/8 "2012-09-27T04:38:48Z")
Yes, it’s very much still standard (based on 20 years residence in Panama and travel in most of the rest of Latin America.) Perhaps things may be somewhat more informal than they once were, but “usted” is in very common use in polite contexts. I see both “tu” and “usted” used in commercials. “Tu” is probably more common. It depends on how folksy you want to sound. ---
**Author:** ![Kiyoshi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e19adc/32.png) [@Kiyoshi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiyoshi)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2012, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spanish-usted-vs-tu/635895/9 "2012-09-27T15:31:33Z")
As I understand it, _tú_ is much more commonly used in Spain than in the Americas. (And in Argentina, they like to be different, and say _vos_ instead of _tú_.) ---
**Author:** ![bordelond](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bordelond/32/150_2.png) [@bordelond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bordelond)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2012, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spanish-usted-vs-tu/635895/10 "2012-09-27T17:44:21Z")
Tangent: can someone intentionally use _tú_ as an insult? For instance, maybe after a traffic accident, one or both parties may withhold “_usted_” and refer to the other as “_tú_” during a heated exchange as a sign of derision. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2012, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spanish-usted-vs-tu/635895/11 "2012-09-27T19:09:54Z")
“Thou whoreson varlet” “Thou eunuch jelly, thou” Used to be true for English. As you know, _thou_ is (or used to be) the precise English equivalent of _tú_. Cognate too. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2012, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spanish-usted-vs-tu/635895/12 "2012-09-27T19:16:44Z")
In fact, certain passages in Shakespeare rely on the formality differential in order to have one character subtly (to our ears) insult another or demonstrate a rejection of affection. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2012, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spanish-usted-vs-tu/635895/13 "2012-09-27T22:12:02Z")
It varies a lot by location; in Costa Rica we were told that locally _usted_ has ended up being used almost exclusively within the family, when foreigners are not involved (according to our informers, it was through that universally motherly custom of adressing their children by full name and over-formally when royally pissed off… if your mom normally calls you Jenny but suddenly adresses you with a “Jennifer María Sánchez, bring thine ass right here this! minute!”, it means thine ass is already several minutes late). In Spain, advertisement will address their audience using one or the other depending on what they’re selling and to whom: Treasury Bonds will use the formal _usted_; a soda will use _tú_; most ads will simply skirt the issue altogether by not adressing the viewer directly. And both _tú_ and _usted_ can be used as an insult by using them in a situation when the other one would be expected. ETA: “should” is _debería; debe(s)_ is “must” ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2012, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spanish-usted-vs-tu/635895/14 "2012-09-27T22:16:43Z")
> [@Mr\_Downtown](#): > > Most Spanish billboards and TV commercials that I see in the US are written as _usted._ In parts of my current city where billboards are in Spanish, I nearly always see “tu”, “usted” is rare. ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2012, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spanish-usted-vs-tu/635895/15 "2012-09-27T22:16:48Z")
A few years ago when I was taking Spanish courses I surreptitiously eavesdropped on a conversation between a man and a woman at Walmart. They spoke very rapidly and I was only able to discern some things about the conversation. They knew one another from some place, and had some friends in common but they used the more formal terms when addressing one another. So, yeah, it’s still used. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2012, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spanish-usted-vs-tu/635895/16 "2012-09-27T22:25:49Z")
> [@bordelond](#): > > Tangent: can someone intentionally use _tú_ as an insult? For instance, maybe after a traffic accident, one or both parties may withhold “_usted_” and refer to the other as “_tú_” during a heated exchange as a sign of derision. Sure. If I’m raking over a taxi driver for trying to overcharge me because he thinks I’m a tourist I’ll use “tu.” Sometimes those who are just learning Spanish think that because “tu” is used with family and friends it implies a friendly relationship. Really, it’s used in situations where you don’t need (or sometimes want) to be polite and formal. It can be used to enemies just as well as friends. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2012, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spanish-usted-vs-tu/635895/17 "2012-09-28T04:40:01Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > Really, it’s used in situations where you don’t need (or sometimes want) to be polite and formal. It can be used to enemies just as well as friends. And praying to _Dios_ too. ---
**Author:** ![bardos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bardos/32/1069_2.png) [@bardos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bardos)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2012, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spanish-usted-vs-tu/635895/18 "2012-09-28T05:07:04Z")
> [@bordelond](#): > > Tangent: can someone intentionally use _tú_ as an insult? For instance, maybe after a traffic accident, one or both parties may withhold “_usted_” and refer to the other as “_tú_” during a heated exchange as a sign of derision. Talking to God = tú. Talking to the priest = usted. Usted is also used to keep distance. So, when you are being cold to another person, as in a traffic accident described above, you would use “usted”. ---
**Author:** ![Balthisar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/balthisar/32/2825_2.png) [@Balthisar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balthisar)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2012, 10:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spanish-usted-vs-tu/635895/19 "2012-09-28T10:08:07Z")
In Mexico among strangers within a generation or so, I usually hear “tu” form used. If it’s obviously an old man or woman, then “usted.” I remember when I first realized this as a learner: we were looking for a spot in a parking garage, and my Mexican coworker hollered out the window to someone walking, “Oye, ya te vas?” ---
**Author:** ![Aji\_de\_Gallina](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aji_de_gallina/32/260_2.png) [@Aji\_de\_Gallina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aji_de_Gallina)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2012, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spanish-usted-vs-tu/635895/20 "2012-09-28T16:47:03Z")
Another reason for the lack of “Usted” in what many people report is that in Spanishyou ommit pronouns as the general rule, so even if you are being formal, you can go through the whole conversation without saying “Usted”. > [@robcaro](#): > > I speak to my wife, family and close friends as “Tu.” I speak to all other people as “Usted.” I am an American living in Colombia. Colombia is an interesting case for Sapnish-speaking countries because they use Usted as the general rule much more and Tú only in family. They are also the only country where Tú, Usted, and Vos are used. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spanish-usted-vs-tu/635895.md?page=2)