# Sparkly Vampires?!?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sparkly-vampires/500613
**Category:** Cafe Society
**Created:** [June 22, 2009, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sparkly-vampires/500613 "2009-06-22T17:22:28Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2009, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sparkly-vampires/500613/1 "2009-06-22T17:22:28Z")
I keep hearing jokes about vampires who sparkle. Where did this come from, and what’s it about?
Thanks!
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### Author:  [@delphica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delphica)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2009, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sparkly-vampires/500613/2 "2009-06-22T17:23:46Z")
It’s from _Twilight_ (books, movie). If you are not a 13 year old girl, that’s all you need to know about it.
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### Author:  [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2009, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sparkly-vampires/500613/3 "2009-06-22T18:27:30Z")
To be more specifc, in the mythology of the series, vampires do not die due to direct exposure to sunlight. However, they must still avoid it, because it _really_ causes their skin to sparkle like little bitty diamonds. Silly, but apparently a big part of the mythos…or the cash cow- you can buy a jar of “Edward Sparkle Body Glitter” or something like that for ten bucks at Hot Topic.
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### Author:  [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2009, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sparkly-vampires/500613/4 "2009-06-22T18:33:28Z")
Does sunlight at least hurt or cause discomfort, or does it just make them shiny?
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### Author:  [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2009, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sparkly-vampires/500613/5 "2009-06-22T18:39:23Z")
> [@Aesiron](#):
>
> Does sunlight at least hurt or cause discomfort, or does it just make them shiny?
Just shiny/sparkly.
It’s really lame.
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### Author:  [@well\_he\_s\_back](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/well_he_s_back)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2009, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sparkly-vampires/500613/6 "2009-06-22T18:41:39Z")
I tried to read “Twilight” cause I work at a high school library. Couldn’t make it through. I hate Twilight. It’s bloody awful. Have I mentioned that I hate Twilight?
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### Author:  [@Estilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Estilicon)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2009, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sparkly-vampires/500613/7 "2009-06-22T19:12:38Z")
I read the first three books because sometimes I wonder if I am a 13 year old girl trapped in a 29 years male body.
Aparently I am not, because those books suck big time.
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### Author:  [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2009, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sparkly-vampires/500613/8 "2009-06-22T20:49:53Z")
[All you need to know.](http://www.cracked.com/article_16878_if-twilight-was-10-times-shorter-100-times-more-honest.html)
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### Author:  [@Ichini\_Sanshigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ichini_Sanshigo)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2009, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sparkly-vampires/500613/9 "2009-06-22T21:06:36Z")
> [@](#):
>
> Hey, your eyes are changing color from gorgeous to ultragorgeous. What’s going on?
I totally need to use that quote in real life.
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### Author:  [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2009, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sparkly-vampires/500613/10 "2009-06-22T21:48:32Z")
The effect in the movie was really bad, too. He looked like he’d been covered in motor oil.
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### Author:  [@emmaliminal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emmaliminal)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2009, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sparkly-vampires/500613/11 "2009-06-22T21:50:32Z")
> [@Mahaloth](#):
>
> Just shiny/sparkly.
>
> It’s really lame.
Erm. Don’t you mean “lamé”?
I am so sorry
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### Author:  [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2009, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sparkly-vampires/500613/12 "2009-06-22T22:03:24Z")
Too bad the author didn’t realize the [obvious](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v220/Guinastasia/Odds%20and%20Ends/Twilight_Hate__Sparkle_by_PreoSmo.jpg).
I’m reading them, just for the snark factor. It’s bad. Really, REALLY bad. I think when I’m done I’m going to cleanse my brain and FINALLY get around to reading _The Dark Tower_ series.
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### Author:  [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2009, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sparkly-vampires/500613/13 "2009-06-22T22:08:51Z")
> [@emmaliminal](#):
>
> Erm. Don’t you mean “lamé”?
Brilliant!
Isn’t that a cut of diamond?
God, it was so dumb. I expected something interesting when he stepped into the light…and then that.
I called my Pop one day and he said he was watching Twilight. “Oh, I’m sorry.” “That’s OK…” “No, not for interrupting you–I’m sorry you’re sitting through Twilight.” He was only watching to see it if was really filmed in Forks, but no such luck.
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### Author:  [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2009, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sparkly-vampires/500613/14 "2009-06-22T22:18:09Z")
> [@Aesiron](#):
>
> Does sunlight at least hurt or cause discomfort, or does it just make them shiny?
No. The sparkliness is Meyer’s entire explanation for the popular belief that vampires can’t go out in the sun. They have no aversion to sunlight whatsoever, they aren’t nocturnal by nature or even prone to sleeping in, they just don’t want to give themselves away by sparkling all over the place.
It’s quite possibly the stupidest thing ever written about vampires, and plenty of stupid things have been written about vampires.
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### Author:  [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2009, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sparkly-vampires/500613/15 "2009-06-22T22:21:21Z")
Oh, and let’s not even go into her werewolf crap…
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### Author:  [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2009, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sparkly-vampires/500613/16 "2009-06-22T22:27:34Z")
> [@gigi](#):
>
> He was only watching to see it if was really filmed in Forks, but no such luck.
I’m surprised at that. I knew that _Twilight_ was filmed in the Vancouver/Washington/Oregon area, but I did not know they did not actually film in Forks- apparently, the town was too small for a large film crew to stay in. _Twilight_ has pretty much become a cottage industry for the real Forks.
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### Author:  [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2009, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sparkly-vampires/500613/17 "2009-06-22T22:29:46Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#):
>
> Oh, and let’s not even go into her werewolf crap…
There’s WEREWOLF crap, too? God. Silly Stephanie Meyer. You cannot romanticize a werewolf.
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### Author:  [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2009, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sparkly-vampires/500613/18 "2009-06-22T22:31:18Z")
I think sparkly vampires are going to become a meme in the horror fanbase, if they aren’t already. “So, the slimemold monster turns into a giant fungoid bear when Julie gets angry at Mike… nearly as dumb as a sparkly vampire.”
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### Author:  [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2009, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sparkly-vampires/500613/19 "2009-06-22T22:32:06Z")
[A must read for understanding the snark side of Twilight.](http://stoney321.livejournal.com/317176.html)
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### Author:  [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unauthorized_Cinnamon)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2009, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sparkly-vampires/500613/20 "2009-06-22T22:33:50Z")
So, I had a long, drawn-out debate with \*\*Dark2Phoenix \*\*(who hasn’t read or seen this), about why I think they’re crap, and promote dangerous and horrible ideas about femininity and love, and how they smuggle in Mormon concepts, and how the writing is terrible, etc. etc. And he just kept saying that if lots of people like them, they must be working on some level, and so forth.
And then I told him about the sparkling (which actually didn’t bother me that much), and he stopped dead and said, “Oh, well, then they’re just stupid.”
[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sparkly-vampires/500613.md?page=2)