# Sparkly Vampires?!? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 22, 2009, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sparkly-vampires/500613 "2009-06-22T17:22:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 8:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sparkly-vampires/500613/101 "2009-06-25T08:48:35Z")
So… vampires are strippers now? Or do they just frequent strip clubs, therefore getting that stripper glitter all over them? ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 8:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sparkly-vampires/500613/102 "2009-06-25T08:55:52Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > Thinking of vampire physiology, does Meyer ever offer an explanation for the origins of vampires? I don’t remember one in _Twilight_, so does it come up later in the series? > > I ask because the usual explanations are black magic or demons, and somehow it doesn’t seem to me that she’d go that route. > > ETA: I found a site called the Twilight Lexicon that has [an e-mail interview with Meyer from 2006](http://www.twilightlexicon.com/?p=34) where she says that vampires do not have bodily fluids aside from a sort of saliva. She explicitly says that vampires cannot reproduce. **tesseract** , some blogger citing this interview was probably where I first heard that Meyer contradicted herself in allowing Bella to have a half-vampire baby. > > I couldn’t find anything on the Twilight Lexicon site about how the _Twilight_ vampires originated, though. Maybe Meyer couldn’t think of anything. My idea is that some unlucky soul ingested a whole jar of glitter and the next thing he knew he was a sparklepire. There’s a throwaway exchange between Edward and The Bacon somewhere in the first book in which she asks him where the first vampires came from. His response (y’all are gonna love this): “Where did humans come from?” Okay, he _could_ conceivably be referring to evolution and natural selection there, but given that he spends the next two books obsessing and angsting over Bella’s immortal soul I’m thinking he probably meant something else. > [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > [Bears repeating.](http://www.someecards.com/usercards/viewcard/20c283f98bbef6b634a50e04b7ddbe5a)😃 They forgot to add a line about necrophilia. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sparkly-vampires/500613/103 "2009-06-25T11:08:08Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Yes, but would blood digest as pee or poop? We need a professional here. > > **Qadgop**? I don’t know if it’s one or the other, and I’m sure as hell not a doctor, but [this SD column might be relevant to the question](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/575/why-is-um-fecal-matter-brown): > [@](#): > > The thing that makes (ahem) fecal matter brown is a potent brownish-yellow pigment called bilirubin, which is found in the bile. It’s what is left over when red blood cells die off and decompose, as they normally do throughout your life. So if the shiny vampires digest the blood they drink, it probably comes out that way. And we’d know what color it is, too. I assume it would be sparkly. ---
**Author:** ![Eureka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/74df32/32.png) [@Eureka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eureka)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sparkly-vampires/500613/104 "2009-06-25T12:19:12Z")
> [@EvilTOJ](#): > > So… vampires are strippers now? Or do they just frequent strip clubs, therefore getting that stripper glitter all over them? Well, some of the vampires in Laurell K. Hamilton’s Anita Blake series of novels are (generally male) strippers. I do not, however, recall reading anything which indicated that there was much in the way of glitter involved. Speaking of the Anita Blake series, in that world, female vampires can’t have children because they are dead, and nothing dead can nourish a baby. Male vampires can have children, it just becomes less common the older than vampire gets (I’m not sure why–it may be explained somewhere. I just know that it’s rare for vampires older than a hundred or so years). It’s also risky because of the risk of Vlad’s Syndrome, in which a vampiric baby tries to eat its way out of the womb. (Werewolves, or lycanthropes–to better include all stripes of shape changing creatures, are a different matter. Males can father children, albeit with some risk of Mowgli’s Syndrome, wherein the baby grows at the rate of the shapechanged creature (wolf, leopard, etc). and carries other risks I don’t recall. Females can get pregnant, but the baby is likely to be miscarried when she shapeshifts. A few variations of lycanthrope females can bear children–mostly those who have an egg-laying form, or those that aren’t tied to the moon). ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sparkly-vampires/500613/105 "2009-06-25T19:15:45Z")
Isn’t feces largely composed of [dead blood cells](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/575/why-is-um-fecal-matter-brown) in the first place? I would imagine, then, that vampires would have to poop. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sparkly-vampires/500613/106 "2009-06-25T21:47:31Z")
Sparkly Vampire Poop—BAND NAME!! ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sparkly-vampires/500613/107 "2009-06-25T21:55:57Z")
> [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](#): > > Sparkly Vampire Poop—BAND NAME!! Emo band. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sparkly-vampires/500613.md?page=5)