# Spartydog, eat a bag of dicks. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 19, 2009, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spartydog-eat-a-bag-of-dicks/486493 "2009-02-19T02:04:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 9:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spartydog-eat-a-bag-of-dicks/486493/41 "2009-02-19T09:12:47Z")
> [@HolyFreakingMoly](#): > > I’m educated, liberal, vote democrat, hate grits and chicken fried steak, whatever the fuck that is… It’s cube steak, battered in the manner that fried chicken is battered. Congratulations, by the way, on your education. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 9:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spartydog-eat-a-bag-of-dicks/486493/42 "2009-02-19T09:22:19Z")
When you say “eat a bag of dicks”, what does that mean exactly? Are they all squished together like chicken parts in a mesh sort of deal, or are they arranged more like baguettes? Is he supposed to take them out one at a time and chew, or stuff them all in his mouth at once? Just trying to get a visual here. (this is paraphrased from a stand-up comedian, points to anyone who knows who) ---
**Author:** ![Apex\_Rogers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@Apex\_Rogers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apex_Rogers)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 9:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spartydog-eat-a-bag-of-dicks/486493/43 "2009-02-19T09:41:27Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > When you say “eat a bag of dicks”, what does that mean exactly? Are they all squished together like chicken parts in a mesh sort of deal, or are they arranged more like baguettes? Is he supposed to take them out one at a time and chew, or stuff them all in his mouth at once? Just trying to get a visual here. > > (this is paraphrased from a stand-up comedian, points to anyone who knows who) Sounds like Patton Oswald to me, but that’s just a random stab in the dark. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 9:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spartydog-eat-a-bag-of-dicks/486493/44 "2009-02-19T09:57:08Z")
I give this pitting a 3.124… ---
**Author:** ![Carson\_O\_Genic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/cdc98d/32.png) [@Carson\_O\_Genic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carson_O_Genic)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spartydog-eat-a-bag-of-dicks/486493/45 "2009-02-19T11:33:43Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > I give this pitting a 3.124… Similar thoughts, though you’re being generous. A bit crestfallen that the Ebert of the Pit should have lost some rancour but those suffering incurable non-fatal disease need sustenance in their kinder and gentler efforts. ---
**Author:** ![Simplicio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c37758/32.png) [@Simplicio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simplicio)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spartydog-eat-a-bag-of-dicks/486493/46 "2009-02-19T11:49:18Z")
> [@dgrdfd](#): > > And I love how it’s acceptable to say that the South is backwards and uneducated - with the obvious implication that they are stupid, yet using the similar analysis you could say the same thing about blacks and Hispanics yet it’s wrong. I disagree, I’d say that you would not be incorrect to say blacks and Hispanics are relatively uneducated (and maybe backwards, but again, that’s not a very easy thing to show empirically), and I don’t think you’d get much flack for it or argument against it. Indeed **Richard Parker** basically already stated blacks are less educated and, while, the conclusion he’s drawn from that (that its the reason the South is uneducated) is being argued against, I don’t think anyones argued against the basic premise or scolded him from considering it. ETA: and looking at my cite at the top of the thread, we can see that it indeed claims blacks and hispanics are less educated then other ethnicities, at least by one measure. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spartydog-eat-a-bag-of-dicks/486493/47 "2009-02-19T12:16:38Z")
> [@The\_Second\_Stone](#): > > Yes, but two of your uncles are being professors with one aunt and both your parents, who had to “retire” from this “college”. Now in the South, does that make them five people, or just three? Is your “uncle” also your father? Your mother your “aunt”. This sounds like code for an incestuous orgy to me. Have you ever asked them? Are any of them cunning professors of languages? You have a J.D.? Well whoop de doo, so does J. Danforth Quayle. The most foolish idiots I know have a J.D. Your other aunt is holding a Masters? Is it your brother’s “Masters”. Do they have to say “Master may I”. I don’t have a dog in this fight, but fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Your stupidity and ignorance cannot be vanquished; they are too (in)bred into you. Again, fuck you. ---
**Author:** ![aldiboronti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc348/32.png) [@aldiboronti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aldiboronti)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spartydog-eat-a-bag-of-dicks/486493/48 "2009-02-19T12:24:42Z")
As an Englishman, allow me to say that I have never seen such a bunch of conceited, self-satisfied, smug, arrogant fucktards than the Northerners on this board who seem to regard all those in the Southern US as beneath contempt because many of them vote a different ticket. Education, you cretins, is not the sole measure of a man’s worth, nor yet politics. Fuck you all, and I also dare venture to assert that Barack Obama would be the first to disown you. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spartydog-eat-a-bag-of-dicks/486493/49 "2009-02-19T12:36:48Z")
I would add that education and a degree do not necessarily go hand in hand. There are an awful lot of National Lampoon campus dicks coming out of colleges. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spartydog-eat-a-bag-of-dicks/486493/50 "2009-02-19T12:56:45Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > (this is paraphrased from a stand-up comedian, points to anyone who knows who) Louis CK ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spartydog-eat-a-bag-of-dicks/486493/51 "2009-02-19T13:12:10Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > I give this pitting a 3.124… A mite low. When come back, bring 3.142. ---
**Author:** ![CircleofWillis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/54ee81/32.png) [@CircleofWillis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CircleofWillis)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spartydog-eat-a-bag-of-dicks/486493/52 "2009-02-19T13:31:53Z")
Good luck to the Op with this one… though it seems like emptying the ocean with a spoon. To borrow from Roald Dahl’s Matilda, the operating theme around here seems to be, “I’m liberal; you’re not. I’m right, you’re wrong and there’s nothing you can do about it.” ---
**Author:** ![tagos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@tagos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tagos)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spartydog-eat-a-bag-of-dicks/486493/53 "2009-02-19T13:53:48Z")
> [@CircleofWillis](#): > > Good luck to the Op with this one… though it seems like emptying the ocean with a spoon. > > To borrow from Roald Dahl’s Matilda, the operating theme around here seems to be, “I’m liberal; you’re not. I’m right, you’re wrong and there’s nothing you can do about it.” The last 8 years and the current catastrophic failure of deregulated capitalism pretty much confirms that until conservatives come back with a new world view and a new set of ideas the correct default assumption is that they are wrong. ---
**Author:** ![CircleofWillis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/54ee81/32.png) [@CircleofWillis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CircleofWillis)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spartydog-eat-a-bag-of-dicks/486493/54 "2009-02-19T13:58:16Z")
> [@tagos](#): > > The last 8 years and the current catastrophic failure of deregulated capitalism pretty much confirms that until conservatives come back with a new world view and a new set of ideas the correct default assumption is that they are wrong. This statement proves my point. What does liberalism have to do with the last 8 years? if you aren’t liberal you are a goosestepping Bush/Cheney Nazi? There is nothing in between? You are either with us or agin us? ..and not for nothing but the failure of conservatives over the last eight years does NOT, by default, make liberalism right. It makes conservatism, at least as it was practiced, wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spartydog-eat-a-bag-of-dicks/486493/55 "2009-02-19T14:12:28Z")
> [@The\_Second\_Stone](#): > > Yes, but two of your uncles are being professors with one aunt and both your parents, who had to “retire” from this “college”. Now in the South, does that make them five people, or just three? Is your “uncle” also your father? Your mother your “aunt”. This sounds like code for an incestuous orgy to me. Have you ever asked them? Are any of them cunning professors of languages? You have a J.D.? Well whoop de doo, so does J. Danforth Quayle. The most foolish idiots I know have a J.D. Your other aunt is holding a Masters? Is it your brother’s “Masters”. Do they have to say “Master may I”. Ass. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spartydog-eat-a-bag-of-dicks/486493/56 "2009-02-19T17:33:17Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > A mite low. When come back, bring 3.142. Damnit - is there a version of Gaudere just for numbers? :smack: ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spartydog-eat-a-bag-of-dicks/486493/57 "2009-02-19T19:38:04Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > Impressive. > > :rolleyes: I apologize, but when someone serves up a straight line like that I’m like a kitty focused on a laser pointer. It is just irresistible. It was everything I could do to make sure the thread was in the Pit. You family members are, of course, all honorable people. ---
**Author:** ![Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tastes_of_chocolate/32/3232_2.png) [@Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tastes_of_Chocolate)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spartydog-eat-a-bag-of-dicks/486493/58 "2009-02-19T20:55:11Z")
While I agree that the OP of the other thread was making sweeping statements based on nothing, I’m afraid **Oakmister** lost all my sympathy when he sprinkled the rest of that thread with: > [@](#): > > I’m also considerably smarter and likely better educated than you are. post #5 > [@](#): > > If you pay attention, you’ll find that I am usually right. Post #24 > [@](#): > > That explains a lot. You may speak to the big people again when you’re at least 30. No one wil take you seriously before then anyway. post #28 ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spartydog-eat-a-bag-of-dicks/486493/59 "2009-02-19T21:29:08Z")
Heck, Good Lord didn’t intend for us to make fun of mouth-breathing, ass-scratching crackers, why make so many? I am not one to question Providence. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spartydog-eat-a-bag-of-dicks/486493/60 "2009-02-19T21:58:40Z")
> [@Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](#): > > While I agree that the OP of the other thread was making sweeping statements based on nothing, I’m afraid **Oakmister** lost all my sympathy when he sprinkled the rest of that thread with: > > post #5 > > Post #24 > > post #28 So…it is perfectly ok for **Spartydog** to spew his nonsense, and it is perfectly acceptable for people to defame my family in this thread merely because I am not a liberal, but if I respond with relatively mild snark, I’m the bad guy? Kiss my ass. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spartydog-eat-a-bag-of-dicks/486493.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spartydog-eat-a-bag-of-dicks/486493.md?page=4)