# Spartydog, eat a bag of dicks. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 19, 2009, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spartydog-eat-a-bag-of-dicks/486493 "2009-02-19T02:04:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spartydog-eat-a-bag-of-dicks/486493/61 "2009-02-19T22:00:59Z")
Can we hold a bake sale to buy\*\* Oakie\*\* a big ol’ barrel of Lightin’ Up? Boy’s in some serious need, here. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spartydog-eat-a-bag-of-dicks/486493/62 "2009-02-19T22:02:36Z")
It’s not because you’re not a liberal. Hike up your well educated skirt. When you tell everyone that you’re smarter than them, you come off as a pompous dick-hole. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spartydog-eat-a-bag-of-dicks/486493/63 "2009-02-19T22:03:23Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > Can we hold a bake sale to buy\*\* Oakie\*\* a big ol’ barrel of Lightin’ Up? Boy’s in some serious need, here. Screw that. I’d rather have the baked goods. Brownies being a personal favorite, but chocolate chip cookies, rice cripsy treats, cake, pie…pretty much anything like that is most welcome. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spartydog-eat-a-bag-of-dicks/486493/64 "2009-02-19T22:07:56Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > It’s not because you’re not a liberal. Hike up your well educated skirt. > > When you tell everyone that you’re smarter than them, you come off as a pompous dick-hole. I didn’t say I was smarter than everyone. I said I’m smarter than **Spartydog.** Granted, that’s sorta like being more athletic than Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, but still… ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spartydog-eat-a-bag-of-dicks/486493/65 "2009-02-19T22:08:35Z")
> [@aldiboronti](#): > > As an Englishman, allow me to say that I have never seen such a bunch of conceited, self-satisfied, smug, arrogant fucktards than the Northerners on this board who seem to regard all those in the Southern US as beneath contempt because many of them vote a different ticket. > > Education, you cretins, is not the sole measure of a man’s worth, nor yet politics. Fuck you all, and I also dare venture to assert that Barack Obama would be the first to disown you. I have no argument with the south per se, just the states, that elect republicans. Remember Tony Blair? Even if you personally approved of him I’d bet you know some people who don’t. Imagine trying to share a country with a whole mainstream national party of Tony Blairs and get a functional country working again. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spartydog-eat-a-bag-of-dicks/486493/66 "2009-02-19T22:10:36Z")
> [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](#): > > I have no argument with the south per se, just the states, that elect republicans. So let’s see you bash California…unless the Governator changed parties this morning… ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spartydog-eat-a-bag-of-dicks/486493/67 "2009-02-19T22:28:16Z")
As a Southerner\* I would like to rally my support behind the OP, as soon as someone helps me out with a few of the bigger words. - Sort of. Non-native resident, longtime inmate. Yearning to break free. ---
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spartydog-eat-a-bag-of-dicks/486493/68 "2009-02-19T22:38:38Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > So let’s see you bash California…unless the Governator changed parties this morning… I’m quite willing to allow that the following is subject to confirmation bias and all the other problems inherent in subjective personal observation, but the bashing of California, or New York, or New Jersey, or Canada, or France, or any other place in the world doesn’t tend to run into the 10 page plus train wreck that seems to occur any time anyone hints that the South or (God forbid) Texas is anything other than perfect. As I said, it’s just personal observation, but it’s been consistent across the three discussion boards I’ve frequented over the past 10+ years. Disclaimers: as a Canadian, I have no particular dog in this fight, and I hereby certify that I’m allowed to speak to grownups as I am over the age of 30. ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spartydog-eat-a-bag-of-dicks/486493/69 "2009-02-19T22:38:45Z")
> [@dgrdfd](#): > > Yes, and those wonderfully liberal states like California and new York that have elected terrific public officials… Is this where I insert the :rolleyes: or is it the :eek: thing? I grew up in new York. I now live in Los Angeles. Both places have their share of incompetent assholes too. Stupidity does not recognize borders or state lines. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spartydog-eat-a-bag-of-dicks/486493/70 "2009-02-19T23:26:58Z")
> [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](#): > > Ahh apologies for thinking your were a republican then. Well it’s quite simple. Republicans in power to terrible things do America. Why would people put them in power? I generally voted Republican until these last couple elections. Now, had the 2004 Bush campaign came out and said “We’re running on a pack of lies, and intend to plunge America into chaos, war and recession!” I don’t think they would have gotten many votes. Also, it is relevant to note that Republicans haven’t always been shepherded by neocons. And that there have been some shitty Democrat presidents, too. That have also lied, been party to wars, deception, etc. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2009, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spartydog-eat-a-bag-of-dicks/486493/71 "2009-02-19T23:54:48Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > …Brownies being a personal favorite… Well, now you’re talking! Course, gonna have to see some sort of assurance that you are…ah…adequately _experienced_ to deal with **'luc’s** Brazos River Brownies. They’re not for everybody, you understand. ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spartydog-eat-a-bag-of-dicks/486493/72 "2009-02-20T00:28:48Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > Sigh. > > I really hate doing this. When I returned to this board, I intended to avoid getting in to pit squabbles. > > That noted’ I am sick and God damn tired of bullshit like this: > > [Bigoted crap numbnuts posted in GD](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=507222). > > Who the fuck are you to call voters in mostly Southern states backwards and uneducated? Just because a majority of our voters chose a Republican over a Democrat, you think you’re better than us? You aren’t. Never have been. Never going to be. > > Believe it or not, it is entirely possible for someone to disagree with you on political issues AND be an intelligent, well educated person. > > Be advised that it is my sincere wish that you immediately contract an incurable, incredibly painful, but (in compliance with Pit rules) non-fatal disease that causes you to suffer extreme pain for all eternity, you sanctimonius pissant. If you can buy bags of dicks down south, I fear there is something to Spartys complaint. Are they separated by color and size/ Are they flavored? My mind is shutting down… ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spartydog-eat-a-bag-of-dicks/486493/73 "2009-02-20T00:41:58Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > Well, now you’re talking! Course, gonna have to see some sort of assurance that you are…ah…adequately _experienced_ to deal with **'luc’s** Brazos River Brownies. They’re not for everybody, you understand. Hmmm…considering I just posted a youtube link to the Lawrence Welk Show version of “One Toke Over the Line” in another thread, I think I qualify… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![vison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/e47774/32.png) [@vison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vison)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spartydog-eat-a-bag-of-dicks/486493/74 "2009-02-20T00:49:05Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > When you say “eat a bag of dicks”, what does that mean exactly? Are they all squished together like chicken parts in a mesh sort of deal, or are they arranged more like baguettes? Is he supposed to take them out one at a time and chew, or stuff them all in his mouth at once? Just trying to get a visual here. > > (this is paraphrased from a stand-up comedian, points to anyone who knows who) Another $15 (US)😃 worth. Man, I love this place. ---
**Author:** ![RedFury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ec9cab/32.png) [@RedFury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedFury)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spartydog-eat-a-bag-of-dicks/486493/75 "2009-02-20T00:55:23Z")
> [@gonzomax](#): > > If you can buy bags of dicks down south, I fear there is something to Spartys complaint. Are they separated by color and size/ Are they flavored? My mind is shutting down… For the answer to these and many other questions – such as expiration date and side orders – you only need open this [bag](http://farm1.static.flickr.com/48/108309143_eb9fb9879e.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spartydog-eat-a-bag-of-dicks/486493/76 "2009-02-20T00:57:09Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > Hmmm…considering I just posted a youtube link to the Lawrence Welk Show version of “One Toke Over the Line” in another thread, I think I qualify… > 😃 …the horror…the horror… ---
**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spartydog-eat-a-bag-of-dicks/486493/77 "2009-02-20T01:05:02Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > Screw that. I’d rather have the baked goods. Brownies being a personal favorite, but chocolate chip cookies, rice cripsy treats, cake, pie…pretty much anything like that is most welcome. How do feel about dicks? Pretty sure there’s a bag of them around here somewhere. Fresh, hopefully. ---
**Author:** ![AdmiralCrunch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6f9a4e/32.png) [@AdmiralCrunch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AdmiralCrunch)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spartydog-eat-a-bag-of-dicks/486493/78 "2009-02-20T01:13:44Z")
> [@FoieGrasIsEvil](#): > > Now, had the 2004 Bush campaign came out and said “We’re running on a pack of lies, and intend to plunge America into chaos, war and recession!” I don’t think they would have gotten many votes. Sounds like Sarah Palin’s stump speech. Zing! But seriously folks, we’re all fucked. Invest in gold toilets, platinum grills, and radium toothpaste. ---
**Author:** ![kidchameleon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@kidchameleon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidchameleon)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spartydog-eat-a-bag-of-dicks/486493/79 "2009-02-20T15:21:22Z")
> [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](#): > > If they voted Republican it’s proof education isn’t always a cure for just plain stupid. Someone with a reading comprehension as [pathetic](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=10844627&postcount=9) as yours shouldn’t be making accustations about education _or_ stupidity. ---
**Author:** ![MichaelQReilly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@MichaelQReilly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelQReilly)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spartydog-eat-a-bag-of-dicks/486493/80 "2009-02-20T15:42:17Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > Exactly. Say what you want to about the “backward” (it’s spelled that way, **Simplicio**. I managed to figure that out even though I went to South Carolina public schools and got my masters’ degree at the University of South Carolina. With my shoes on.) South, I may hate the hell out of my governor but I can’t remember the last time one of them got arrested, went to jail, or was impeached. Go figure. That’s because when a “good ol’ boy” does it, you look the other way. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spartydog-eat-a-bag-of-dicks/486493.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spartydog-eat-a-bag-of-dicks/486493.md?page=5)