# Speak to me in George Carlin quotes **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [December 29, 2012, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-george-carlin-quotes/645459 "2012-12-29T04:16:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Stark\_Raven\_Mad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Stark\_Raven\_Mad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stark_Raven_Mad)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2012, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-george-carlin-quotes/645459/21 "2012-12-29T13:50:02Z")
“I got just the place for low-cost housing - I have solved the problem. I know where we can build houses for the homeless. Golf courses.” ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2012, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-george-carlin-quotes/645459/22 "2012-12-29T13:56:10Z")
I have absolutely no sympathy for human beings whatsoever. None. No matter what kind of problem humans are facing, whether it’s natural or man-made, I always hope it gets worse. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2012, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-george-carlin-quotes/645459/23 "2012-12-29T14:09:52Z")
I can do an eon standing on my head. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2012, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-george-carlin-quotes/645459/24 "2012-12-29T14:16:20Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > I can do an eon standing on my head. Wasn’t that Paulie Walnuts? ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2012, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-george-carlin-quotes/645459/25 "2012-12-29T16:21:33Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > Wasn’t that Paulie Walnuts? No, it’s from the Purgatory part of Carlin’s Heaven, Hell, Purgatory and Limbo routine. It’s on either Class Clown or Occupation: Foole, I can’t remember which. ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2012, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-george-carlin-quotes/645459/26 "2012-12-29T17:07:01Z")
How come when it’s us its and abortion and when it a chicken it’s an omelette? ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2012, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-george-carlin-quotes/645459/27 "2012-12-29T17:23:32Z")
Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2012, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-george-carlin-quotes/645459/28 "2012-12-29T18:44:43Z")
“Get “on” the plane”? Fuck that, I’m going to get in the plane. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2012, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-george-carlin-quotes/645459/29 "2012-12-29T19:14:31Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > No, it’s from the Purgatory part of Carlin’s Heaven, Hell, Purgatory and Limbo routine. It’s on either Class Clown or Occupation: Foole, I can’t remember which. [I found what I was thinking of.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ObglF8WUsWM) Close. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2012, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-george-carlin-quotes/645459/30 "2012-12-29T19:24:10Z")
A 71 is just a 69 with two fingers up your ass. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2012, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-george-carlin-quotes/645459/31 "2012-12-30T04:00:01Z")
There’s a condition in combat. Most people know about it. It’s when a fighting person’s nervous system has been stressed to its absolute peak and maximum. Can’t take anymore input. The nervous system has either (click) snapped or is about to snap. In the first world war, that condition was called shell shock. Simple, honest, direct language. Two syllables, shell shock. Almost sounds like the guns themselves. That was seventy years ago. Then a whole generation went by and the second world war came along and very same combat condition was called battle fatigue. Four syllables now. Takes a little longer to say. Doesn’t seem to hurt as much. Fatigue is a nicer word than shock. Shell shock! Battle fatigue. Then we had the war in Korea, 1950. Madison Avenue was riding high by that time, and the very same combat condition was called operational exhaustion. Hey, we’re up to eight syllables now! And the humanity has been squeezed completely out of the phrase. It’s totally sterile now. Operational exhaustion. Sounds like something that might happen to your car. Then of course, came the war in Viet Nam, which has only been over for about sixteen or seventeen years, and thanks to the lies and deceits surrounding that war, I guess it’s no surprise that the very same condition was called post-traumatic stress disorder. Still eight syllables, but we’ve added a hyphen! And the pain is completely buried under jargon. Post-traumatic stress disorder. I’ll bet you if we’d of still been calling it shell shock, some of those Viet Nam veterans might have gotten the attention they needed at the time. I’ll betcha. I’ll betcha. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2012, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-george-carlin-quotes/645459/32 "2012-12-30T04:58:38Z")
His name’s Ball Sniffer. He’s a crotchhound. ---
**Author:** ![MOIDALIZE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@MOIDALIZE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MOIDALIZE)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2012, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-george-carlin-quotes/645459/33 "2012-12-30T05:10:26Z")
SEAT! It’s a goddamn seat! Check. Around. Your seat. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2012, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-george-carlin-quotes/645459/34 "2012-12-30T05:19:47Z")
Have you ever noticed the women who are against abortion are the ones you wouldn’t want to fuck in the first place? ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2012, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-george-carlin-quotes/645459/35 "2012-12-30T06:32:20Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > There’s a condition in combat. Most people know about it. It’s when a fighting person’s nervous system has been stressed to its absolute peak and maximum. Can’t take anymore input. The nervous system has either (click) snapped or is about to snap. > > In the first world war, that condition was called shell shock. Simple, honest, direct language. Two syllables, shell shock. Almost sounds like the guns themselves. That was seventy years ago. Then a whole generation went by and the second world war came along and very same combat condition was called battle fatigue. Four syllables now. Takes a little longer to say. Doesn’t seem to hurt as much. Fatigue is a nicer word than shock. Shell shock! Battle fatigue. > > Then we had the war in Korea, 1950. Madison Avenue was riding high by that time, and the very same combat condition was called operational exhaustion. Hey, we’re up to eight syllables now! And the humanity has been squeezed completely out of the phrase. It’s totally sterile now. Operational exhaustion. Sounds like something that might happen to your car. > > Then of course, came the war in Viet Nam, which has only been over for about sixteen or seventeen years, and thanks to the lies and deceits surrounding that war, I guess it’s no surprise that the very same condition was called post-traumatic stress disorder. Still eight syllables, but we’ve added a hyphen! And the pain is completely buried under jargon. Post-traumatic stress disorder. I’ll bet you if we’d of still been calling it shell shock, some of those Viet Nam veterans might have gotten the attention they needed at the time. I’ll betcha. I’ll betcha. Sadly, George is right about this. ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2012, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-george-carlin-quotes/645459/36 "2012-12-30T06:33:37Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > Have you ever noticed the women who are against abortion are the ones you wouldn’t want to fuck in the first place? Sounds like something Limbaugh would say. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2012, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-george-carlin-quotes/645459/37 "2012-12-30T07:03:53Z")
I never fucked a ten. But one night I fucked FIVE TWOS!!! ---
**Author:** ![Mince](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecd19e/32.png) [@Mince](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mince)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2012, 9:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-george-carlin-quotes/645459/38 "2012-12-30T09:57:15Z")
> [@etv78](#): > > Sadly, George is right about this. Maybe he is. But how would _he_ know? Or you? ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2012, 10:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-george-carlin-quotes/645459/39 "2012-12-30T10:08:16Z")
> [@Mince](#): > > Maybe he is. But how would _he_ know? Or you? Don’t know _per se_, but I agree with Carlin’s overall point: language has become too flowery/euphemistic. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2012, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-george-carlin-quotes/645459/40 "2012-12-30T10:35:41Z")
OK Sheriff, we’re gonna fuck you now. But we’re gonna fuck you slow. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-george-carlin-quotes/645459.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-george-carlin-quotes/645459.md?page=3)