# Speak to me in George Carlin quotes

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-george-carlin-quotes/645459>\
**Category:** The Game Room\
**Created:** [December 29, 2012, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-george-carlin-quotes/645459 "2012-12-29T04:16:43Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 4\
**Page:** 4

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**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\
**Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-george-carlin-quotes/645459/61 "2013-01-04T02:19:55Z")

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Oh, but of course…

> [@Annie-Xmas](#):
>
> If you don’t like the weather…MOVE!

The temperature at the airport is 80 degrees, and that’s kind of stupid 'cause I don’t know anyone who lives at the airport. Downtown, it’s much hotter… downtown’s on fire, man!

Tonight’s forecast: …Dark! Continued dark overnight, with some widely scattered light by morning.

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**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\
**Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-george-carlin-quotes/645459/62 "2013-01-04T02:45:49Z")

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> [@buddha\_david](#):
>
> Something else I’m getting tired of in this country is all this stupid talk I have to listen to about _children_. That’s all you hear about anymore, children: “Help the _children_, save the _children_, protect the _children_.” You know what I say? _FUCK THE CHILDREN!!!_

And I know what I"m talking about. I’m Mr. Conductor, everybody!

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**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\
**Post date:** [January 6, 2013, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-george-carlin-quotes/645459/63 "2013-01-06T18:29:37Z")

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I’m aware  
that some stare  
at my hair.  
In fact, to be fair,  
Some really despair  
of my hair.  
But I don’t care,  
Cause they’re not aware,  
Nor are they debonaire.  
In fact, they’re just square.  
They see hair  
down to there,  
Say, “Beware”  
and go off on a tear!  
I say, “No fair!”  
A head that is bare  
is really nowhere.  
So be like a bear,  
be fair  
with your hair!  
Show it you care.  
Wear it to there.  
Or to there.  
Or to there,  
if you dare!  
My wife bought some hair  
at a fair,  
to use as a spare.  
Did I care?  
Au contraire!  
Spare  
hair  
is fair!  
In fact, hair  
can be rare.  
Fred Astaire  
got no hair,  
Nor does a chair,  
Or a chocolate eclair,  
And where is the hair  
on a pear?  
Nowhere,  
mon frere!  
So now that I’ve shared  
this affair  
of the hair,  
I’m going to repair  
to my lair  
to use Nair.  
Do you care?

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\
**Post date:** [January 7, 2013, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-george-carlin-quotes/645459/64 "2013-01-07T00:16:57Z")

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> [@Annie-Xmas](#):
>
> If you don’t like the weather…MOVE!

“Oh, but the kids love it here.”

:silence:

“What have they got…gills?”

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