Don’t go far, circle close
The father, son, the holy ghost
To the Trinity, I raise a toast (ahh yeah!)
One, two, three lock box
Come and gather around
Join in the crowd
Singing the songs that we know
We’ll drink a toast to tomorrow and one to days long ago
Come gather round, children, it’s high time ye learned
'Bout a hero named Homer and a devil named Burns
We’ll march 'till we drop, the girls and the fellas
We’ll fight 'till the death or else fold like umbrellas
I used to play the field,
I used to be a roamer,
But the season’s turning 'round for me now,
I finally bagged me a homer.
That’s right, I finally bagged me a homer.
We’re talkin’ softball, from Maine to San Diego
Talkin’ softball, Mattingly and Canseco
Ken Griffey’s grotesquely swollen jaw
Steve Sax and his run-in with the law
We’re talking Homer, Ozzie and the Straw
I had a friend was a big baseball player
back in high school
He could throw that speedball by you
Make you look like a fool boy
Go man, go
But not like a yo-yo school boy
Just play it cool, boy
Real cool
Good morning little schoolgirl, can I come home with you?
Tell your mama and your papa I’m a little schoolboy too.
Wake up Maggie, I think I got something to say to you
It’s late September and I really should be back at school
learned the truth at seventeen
That love was meant for beauty queens
And high school girls with clear skinned smiles
Who married young and then retired
They said all teenagers scare the living shit out of me
Teenage wasteland
It’s only teenage wasteland
Teenage wasteland
Oh yeah
Teenage wasteland
They’re all wasted!
Wasted away again in Margaritaville…
Half of my life, I spent doin’ time for some other fucker’s crime,
The other half found me stumbling 'round drunk on Burgundy wine.
Chug-a-lug Chug-a-lug
Makes you wanna holler hi-de-ho,
Burns your tummy don’t you know
Chug-a-lug chug-a-lug
Well I asked my old pappy why he called his brew
White lightnin stead of mountain dew
I took a little sip and right away I knew
And my eyes bugged out and my face turned blue
Daddy made whiskey and he made it well
Cost two dollars and it burned like hell
I WANT MY TWO DOLLARS!!!
[oops! wrong thread…]
Whiskey woman don’t you know that you are drivin’ me insane
The liquor you give stems your will to live and gets right to my brain
(Don’t you know you’re driving me insane)
Cigarettes, whiskey and wild wild women
They’ll drive you crazy, they’ll drive you insane
I’ve got my wife, the other women
And the whiskey killing me
The first two make it so that I see red
The third one makes it so that I can’t see