An old lady died in the bath tub.
She died from a terrible fit.
In order to fulfill her wishes,
She was buried in six feet of… Shhhhhaving cream, be nice and clean
Shave every day and you’ll always look keen.
[Psst. See 8637]
How do??
Welcome to my shop, let me cut your mop, let me shave your crop
Daintily, daintily
Hey you!!
Don’t look so perplexed, why must you be vexed, can’t you see you’re next
Yes you’re next, you’re so next
How about a nice close shave
Teach your whiskers to behave
Lots of lather lots of soap
Please hold still don’t be a dope
Listen to me warden, won’t you listen to me beg
Chop off a toe, a foot, or take a whole leg
I’m down on my knees man, you’re robbing my strength
Take it easy warden, won’t you leave me some length
I want a lawyer warden, I want a priest
Oh take it easy warden, leave the moustache at least
The warden didn’t hear a single word that I said
He took off all the hair on my face & on my head
But one day someone’s gonna come
And gonna put up my bail
And I’m gonna walk out of this dirty old jail
And the warden who’s the reason I’m sheddin my tears
I’m gonna mail him in a snapshot in two or three years
And the jailer man and Sailor Sam
Were searching every one
For the band on the run
Gonna make a jailbreak
And I’m lookin’ towards the sky
I’m gonna make a jailbreak
Oh, how I wish that I could fly
All in the name of liberty
All in the name of liberty
Got to be free
[Falls on sword again…should have known when the shaving thing got started up out of nowhere]
Journey homeward bound
A sound of a dolphin calling
Tearing off the mask of man
The Tower my sole guide
This is who I am
Escapist, paradise seeker
Farewell now time to fly
Out of sight, out of time, away from all lies
Aye Calypso the places you’ve been to
The things that you’ve shown us
The stories you tell
Aye Calypso, I sing to your spirit
The men who have served you so long and so well
There’s a new game we like to play you see
A game with added reality
You treat me like a dog, get me down on my knees
We call it master and servant
We call it master and servant
Remember when you ran away
And I got on my knees
And begged you not to leave
Because I’d go berserk.
Well, you left me anyhow
And then the days got worse and worse,
And now you see I’ve gone
Completely out of my mind
Well, I think I’m going out of my head
Yes, I think I’m going out of my head
Over you
Over you
Midnight on the water.
I saw the ocean’s daughter.
Walking on a wave she came,
Staring as she called my name.
And I can’t get it out of my head,
No, I can’t get it out of my head.
Now my old world is gone for dead
'Cos I can’t get it out of my head.
Over my head I hear music in the air
Over my head I hear music
Over my head it’s loud and clear
It’s going to my head
Music, music, I hear music
Music, I hear music, music
Music oh oh oh lord music over my head
All we need is music, sweet music
There’ll be music everywhere
They’ll be swinging, swaying, records playing
Dancing in the street, oh
Let me down easy
No big song and dance
No long faces, no long looks
No deep conversation
I know the way we should spend that day
Take me to a zoo that’s got chimpanzees
Tell me on a Sunday please
A room holds a thousand ghosts
Each bridge burned before the words
Are even spoken
No easy way down (down)
No easy way down (down)
No easy way down (down)
No easy way down
Hey hey hey
There’s only the devil to pay
I’m ready to go, pull me down from below
Give me a place I can lay
Hey hey
Nothing is real but the way that I feel
I feel like going down, down, down, down
Down, down, down, down
Do a little dance,
Make a little love,
Get down tonight.
I’m down (I’m really down)
I’m down (Down on the ground)
I’m down (I’m really down)
How can you laugh when you know I’m down?
When you’re alone, and life is making you lonely
You can always go
Downtown
Uptown girl
You know I can’t afford to buy her pearls
But maybe someday when my ship comes in
She’ll understand what kind of guy I’ve been
And then I’ll win
And when she’s walking, she’s looking so fi-yi-yine
And when she’s talking, she’ll say that she’s mi-yi-yine