# Speak to me in...TV quotes! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [November 17, 2022, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107 "2022-11-17T22:21:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 114
**Author:** ![llikewise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llikewise/32/8522_2.png) [@llikewise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llikewise)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2025, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2261 "2025-03-23T20:36:06Z")
- Anyway, he grabs his flashlight and notices that there’s this white powder all over him. Then he notices that what he shot was a full size advertisement for ‘Dutch Boy’ paints and what he thought was a gun was the guy’s paint brush. Meanwhile, he shot the brush off and there’s two holes in the dummy’s crotch. Man, he really got his balls broke over that one and… ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2025, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2262 "2025-03-24T14:04:53Z")
Hand me the flashlight. ---
**Author:** ![llikewise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llikewise/32/8522_2.png) [@llikewise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llikewise)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2025, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2263 "2025-03-24T17:33:59Z")
All right, let’s not panic. Chelsea, if you would, please, open the glove compartment. You will find a flashlight and a small toolkit. Reach behind them, and hand me my cell phone. I’m going to call the auto club. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2025, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2264 "2025-03-25T15:25:30Z")
- I’m going to be in _People_ Magazine. - Cool. Call me when you make the cover. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2025, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2265 "2025-03-25T20:58:52Z")
Why are we here? Federally funded lab, government-owned property… FBI gets the call. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2025, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2266 "2025-03-25T21:17:52Z")
Because I have uromysitisis, that’s why! ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2025, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2267 "2025-03-26T04:55:36Z")
It’s the big one! I’m coming for you Elizabeth! ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2025, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2268 "2025-03-26T18:04:14Z")
You really only have two choices, to be happy or to be sad; save your tears for the big stuff. ---
**Author:** ![llikewise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llikewise/32/8522_2.png) [@llikewise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llikewise)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2025, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2269 "2025-03-26T18:59:15Z")
That was amazing. I don’t know where you came up with that crap, but you nailed it. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2025, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2270 "2025-03-27T04:54:38Z")
When Miss Polly’s in trouble I am not slow. So it’s hip, hip, hip, and away I go! ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2025, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2271 "2025-03-27T14:51:59Z")
Trouble is my business. ---
**Author:** ![llikewise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llikewise/32/8522_2.png) [@llikewise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llikewise)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2025, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2272 "2025-03-27T23:51:04Z")
Oh, listen to this. “I fear that despite Steven’s high IQ, he’s a born troublemaker and is destined to be the smartest man… in his cell block.” ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2025, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2273 "2025-03-28T14:30:05Z")
You know what, listen, if-if this isn’t a matter of life and death, I really… I have to go. ---
**Author:** ![llikewise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llikewise/32/8522_2.png) [@llikewise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llikewise)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2025, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2274 "2025-03-28T16:54:22Z")
To interrupt a program of this quality under the guise of national security is preposterous ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2025, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2275 "2025-03-29T14:25:17Z")
Excuse me, sir! Sorry to interrupt you, but I must ask you to please take a number. ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_Godot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buck_godot/32/6573_2.png) [@Buck\_Godot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_Godot)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2025, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2276 "2025-03-29T16:42:00Z")
I am not a number I’m a free man! ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2025, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2277 "2025-03-30T13:23:39Z")
“This is different. This isn’t about numbers.” “Everything is numbers.” ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2025, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2278 "2025-03-30T15:30:43Z")
It’s 1-2-3. Not 1-2, then back to 1. ---
**Author:** ![llikewise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llikewise/32/8522_2.png) [@llikewise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llikewise)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2025, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2279 "2025-03-30T19:40:12Z")
- Ah, you don’t have to worry about that, Sammy. Sally is a one-man woman. - Better check your arithmetic there. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2025, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2280 "2025-03-30T22:06:31Z")
If I didn’t have you, life would be dreary. I’d be string theory without any string. I’d be binary code without a one Cathode ray tube without an electron gun. I’d be “Firefly”, “Buffy” and “Avengers” without Joss Whedon. I’d speak a lot more Klingon: _qalopmeH QaQ jajvam._ _(Friends)_ And he’d definitely still live with his mom. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107.md?page=113) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107.md?page=115)