# Speak to me in...TV quotes! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [November 17, 2022, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107 "2022-11-17T22:21:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 115
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2025, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2281 "2025-03-31T14:27:12Z")
Mama Bear, we cannot find “cuckoo clock” in the code book. ---
**Author:** ![llikewise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llikewise/32/8522_2.png) [@llikewise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llikewise)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2025, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2282 "2025-04-01T00:01:32Z")
- Yes. Now all I have to do is put this card into the ATM, punch in my secret code, 1-2-3-4- Oh, no! I was never supposed to reveal my code to anyone! - Ooh, well, now you’re going to have to kill us. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2025, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2283 "2025-04-01T20:06:19Z")
“If I told you, I’d have to kill you.” “Seriously?” “Seriously.” ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2025, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2284 "2025-04-01T22:39:06Z")
I AM GOING TO KILL YOU! (Spoken by the White House chef in _The Residence_ — a really good murder mystery series on Netflix.) ---
**Author:** ![llikewise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llikewise/32/8522_2.png) [@llikewise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llikewise)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2025, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2285 "2025-04-02T00:55:08Z")
- I wanted to shoot him, Cliff. - So did I. So did half the people in Dallas. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2025, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2286 "2025-04-02T13:35:08Z")
“So, today we found out about a school in Dallas for really smart kids.” “When can I start?” ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2025, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2287 "2025-04-02T14:56:59Z")
Actually, I had him tested as a child. Doctors said he was fine. Although I do regret not following up with that specialist in Houston. ---
**Author:** ![llikewise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llikewise/32/8522_2.png) [@llikewise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llikewise)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2025, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2288 "2025-04-02T15:43:53Z")
It was easy. I took the whole test with just half my brain. [_snidely_] I hope it wasn’t the dumb half. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2025, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2289 "2025-04-02T20:59:11Z")
Homer’s brain: _Don’t tell him you were at a bar. —But what else is open at night?_ Homer: It’s a pornography store. I was buying pornography. Homer’s brain: _Heh heh heh. I woulda never thought of that._ ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2025, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2290 "2025-04-03T15:50:33Z")
I sit here in a bar, night after night, guzzling beer. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2025, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2291 "2025-04-03T22:27:02Z")
Ah, memory impairment. The free prize at the bottom of every vodka bottle. ---
**Author:** ![llikewise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llikewise/32/8522_2.png) [@llikewise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llikewise)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2025, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2292 "2025-04-03T23:35:25Z")
I’m doing a little experiment tonight to see what will get me drunker. Drinking wine… ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2025, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2293 "2025-04-04T02:45:25Z")
Could you keep it down? I’m trying to drink. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2025, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2294 "2025-04-04T13:05:59Z")
I don’t have the authority to physically stand in your way. You have a free will and a mind of your own. But I will try to change your mind. ---
**Author:** ![llikewise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llikewise/32/8522_2.png) [@llikewise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llikewise)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2025, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2295 "2025-04-04T22:42:51Z")
I want the implants. Look, I’m constantly mistaken for a fifth grader, and I’m tired of it. This is my choice. And it’s taken me a long time to convince my mom, but she’s finally supporting me. I shouldn’t have to convince you, too. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2296 "2025-04-05T14:37:04Z")
You will not fail to show up. You will not even be late. Or you’ll finish out your education at a military school of my choice. Got it? ---
**Author:** ![llikewise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llikewise/32/8522_2.png) [@llikewise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llikewise)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2297 "2025-04-05T17:45:36Z")
[_bragging about his Military School_] We even have two guys from the regular Army to teach us the drillin’. And you know somethin’ else? All our teachers are men. Well, except the nurse. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2298 "2025-04-05T18:11:20Z")
George: You know, people think I’m smart, but I’m not smart. Jerry: Who thinks you’re smart? ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2025, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2299 "2025-04-06T02:04:25Z")
- Why are you crying? - Because I’m stupid! - That’s no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2025, 10:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2300 "2025-04-06T10:33:10Z")
It’s all right to cry. Crying gets the sad out of you. It’s all right to cry. It’s might make you feel better. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107.md?page=114) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107.md?page=116)