# Speak to me in...TV quotes! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [November 17, 2022, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107 "2022-11-17T22:21:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 116
**Author:** ![llikewise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llikewise/32/8522_2.png) [@llikewise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llikewise)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2025, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2301 "2025-04-08T19:12:53Z")
No, no, no. This is not about me. It’s about you feeling better, so I can feel better. Make me feel better. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2025, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2302 "2025-04-08T21:46:16Z")
There’s a better way to help people. ---
**Author:** ![llikewise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llikewise/32/8522_2.png) [@llikewise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llikewise)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2025, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2303 "2025-04-09T18:52:10Z")
Look at you! Look at what you’ve sunk to! Look at what you’ve become! Look in the mirror, cause you need help, Jerry. you need help, because I can’t stand by and do it anymore. It’s turning my stomach! I can’t stand around here watching you destroy yourself. It’s eating me up inside! [Kramer storms out, then returns grabs a box of cereal and a bowl, and storms out again] ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2025, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2304 "2025-04-10T13:50:54Z")
We want to help Mr. Wilson. (RIP Jay North) ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2025, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2305 "2025-04-10T15:27:38Z")
The devil made me do it. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2025, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2306 "2025-04-10T16:28:31Z")
Could it be… **SATAN?!** ---
**Author:** ![ekedolphin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ekedolphin/32/10003_2.png) [@ekedolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ekedolphin)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2025, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2307 "2025-04-10T16:37:18Z")
Satan? Is that your lord? The one you plan to offer me to as a sexual sacrifice? But once you have me, you realize you could never go through with it because I’m the only woman who could ever make you feel something after the loss of your wife! Your wife- who was the first one your lord Satan took as a concubine. But now you’d rather have me! And you’d rather fight him to the death than allow me to come to the same fate! ---
**Author:** ![llikewise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llikewise/32/8522_2.png) [@llikewise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llikewise)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2025, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2308 "2025-04-10T19:44:55Z")
I never said I was better than you, just smarter and classier. You’re clearly a better athlete, and you have much better survival instincts. Kind of like a cockroach. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2025, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2309 "2025-04-10T22:01:42Z")
“We’re cockroaches to you?” “Yeah. Or dung beetles. I don’t know. Something small and gross that creeps on the ground in its own filth. Just being honest.” ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2025, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2310 "2025-04-11T03:23:25Z")
You’re afraid of insects and women? Ladybugs must render you catatonic. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2025, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2311 "2025-04-11T19:25:23Z")
Finding out that my father is giving drugs to bugs just became a typical moment in my life. ---
**Author:** ![llikewise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llikewise/32/8522_2.png) [@llikewise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llikewise)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2025, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2312 "2025-04-12T00:56:11Z")
Opal, you’re one to talk. You really are. First of all, you consorted with drug dealers, and then you got arrested for assaulting one of them. How could I top that? ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2025, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2313 "2025-04-12T13:25:46Z")
I’ve seen my friends’ children become dealers, addicts. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2025, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2314 "2025-04-12T14:17:02Z")
Okay, but if this leads to harder stuff you’ll have to answer to my mom. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2025, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2315 "2025-04-13T11:11:28Z")
The only thing harder than building a business is finding love. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2025, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2316 "2025-04-13T16:24:17Z")
I need to build a road… I need wood. Either of you fellas have wood? … I don’t understand the laughter. The object of Settlers of Cataan is to build roads and settlements, to do so requires wood. Now I have sheep, I need wood. Who has wood for my sheep? ---
**Author:** ![Bicycle\_Bill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bicycle_bill/32/6208_2.png) [@Bicycle\_Bill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bicycle_Bill)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2025, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2317 "2025-04-13T16:40:14Z")
I am the Great Cornholio! I need TP for my bunghole! _ **-“BB”-** _ ---
**Author:** ![llikewise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llikewise/32/8522_2.png) [@llikewise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llikewise)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2025, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2318 "2025-04-13T18:29:36Z")
- Are you guys okay? - No, I’m not okay. Barry took a dump in front of us. - I had to go - It was bad ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2025, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2319 "2025-04-14T10:56:48Z")
My name is Barry Allen, and I am the fastest man alive. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2025, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2320 "2025-04-14T14:57:21Z")
- What the hell is wrong with you? - I’m the Flash. I just knocked 3000 times. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107.md?page=115) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107.md?page=117)