# Speak to me in...TV quotes! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [November 17, 2022, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107 "2022-11-17T22:21:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 121
**Author:** ![Bayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bayaker/32/3454_2.png) [@Bayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2025, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2401 "2025-05-20T22:28:40Z")
Hey, Dad? If I saved up my allowance could I buy a monkey? Of course not! Okay. Then I won’t save up. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2025, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2402 "2025-05-21T19:27:27Z")
You can’t be too careful when you’re dealing with an allowance. ---
**Author:** ![llikewise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llikewise/32/8522_2.png) [@llikewise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llikewise)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2025, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2403 "2025-05-22T17:29:26Z")
I texted you, “What’s my budget for the Snow Ball.” You replied $8,000, followed by a gratuitous gif of a guy getting hit in the nards. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2025, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2404 "2025-05-22T19:29:42Z")
But the ball — his groin — it works on so many levels! Hahaha! ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2025, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2405 "2025-05-22T20:40:00Z")
Now who’s laughing? ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2025, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2406 "2025-05-23T15:46:18Z")
This is Buddy Sorrell, the Human Joke Machine! ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2025, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2407 "2025-05-23T18:36:02Z")
- Hey, Buddy! - Oh, they don’t like to be called that. - No, it’s okay. That’s his name. ---
**Author:** ![llikewise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llikewise/32/8522_2.png) [@llikewise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llikewise)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2025, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2408 "2025-05-24T17:11:10Z")
- Nobody knows anyone’s middle name. Quick. What’s my middle name - Scott - Of course you know mine. We’re a couple. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2025, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2409 "2025-05-24T23:32:44Z")
MICHAEL: Dwight, what’s your middle name? JIM: Kurt. I can’t believe I know that. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2025, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2410 "2025-05-26T15:21:15Z")
Hello, I’m Kurt Hummel and I’ll be auditioning for the role of kicker. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2025, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2411 "2025-05-26T16:33:08Z")
- Today I drove to Van Nuys for an audition I thought was going to be for a cat food commercial. Turned out to be for porn. - Did you get the part? ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2025, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2412 "2025-05-27T18:31:04Z")
Your all-star son showed up at my audition. Now, I give every student an even chance, which is a long and honorable tradition in the theater, something that you wouldn’t understand, but if he is planning some sort of a practical joke in my chapel of the arts… ---
**Author:** ![llikewise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llikewise/32/8522_2.png) [@llikewise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llikewise)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2025, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2413 "2025-05-27T22:31:16Z")
- Y’know, if you play the part of a girl, people might make fun of you. - Mr. Lundy’s trying to push the boundaries of drama in East Texas. One way to do that is cross-gender casting ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2025, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2414 "2025-05-27T23:58:59Z")
Yiddish was not spoken in East Texas. And if it was, it wasn’t spoken for long. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2025, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2415 "2025-05-28T19:02:55Z")
As she said, in Yiddish, “You’re telling me!” ---
**Author:** ![llikewise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llikewise/32/8522_2.png) [@llikewise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llikewise)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2025, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2416 "2025-05-28T19:28:34Z")
I wonder if jewelry comes from Jewish IIpeople. In Little Falls, the jewelry was Jewish. Jeweler, Jewish… I wonder if there’s a connection? ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2025, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2417 "2025-05-28T19:32:02Z")
- Shekiot HaChamah. - What? - Sundown. I can’t be here alone with you after sundown. ---
**Author:** ![Bicycle\_Bill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bicycle_bill/32/6208_2.png) [@Bicycle\_Bill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bicycle_Bill)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2025, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2418 "2025-05-28T21:07:29Z")
Repairman: I can only answer that insult with an old Jewish expression – _Tzun a leben in a hoyz mit a toyznt tsimers aye zolt hobn a boykhveytik un yeder tsimer!_ [_in Yiddish – may you live in a house with a thousand rooms, and get a stomachache in each room!_] Archie: What the hell does that mean? Repairman: You’ll never know, but believe me, I got even. _ **-“BB”-** _ ---
**Author:** ![Bayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bayaker/32/3454_2.png) [@Bayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2025, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2419 "2025-05-28T23:17:44Z")
You know who you are? Even Steven. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2025, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2420 "2025-05-29T13:47:14Z")
Samantha Stevens, what on Earth are you doing in Paris? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107.md?page=120) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107.md?page=122)