# Speak to me in...TV quotes! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [November 17, 2022, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107 "2022-11-17T22:21:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 133
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2025, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2641 "2025-08-23T14:18:15Z")
Hello, Cook ? Sorry to bother you so late, but I got a hankering for some-- That’s right. Don’t forget the applesauce. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2025, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2642 "2025-08-24T13:29:28Z")
Pizza? You would ask a Frenchman to cook a piece of cardboard with tomato sauce? ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2025, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2643 "2025-08-24T18:44:21Z")
No, no. You can’t put cucumbers on a pizza. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2025, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2644 "2025-08-24T18:57:28Z")
No soup for you! One year! ---
**Author:** ![llikewise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llikewise/32/8522_2.png) [@llikewise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llikewise)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2025, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2645 "2025-08-24T22:05:19Z")
Excuse me, sir, but, uh, how much is your soup? \*Eighty cents!\* How much is coffee? \*Holy mackerel.\* I mean, thank you, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2025, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2646 "2025-08-25T01:11:29Z")
The sea was angry that day, my friends. Like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2025, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2647 "2025-08-25T13:14:59Z")
The four Harpies of the sea: shipwreck, epidemic, mutiny, murder. So far, I’ve been spared with nothing more serious than a squall off of Antibes. And now this. ---
**Author:** ![llikewise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llikewise/32/8522_2.png) [@llikewise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llikewise)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2025, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2648 "2025-08-25T18:22:33Z")
- Wally, what’s an optimist? - Well, that’s the kind of a guy who, if he fell of a five-hundred-foot cliff, would keep saying to himself “Everything’s gonna be alright” all the way down. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2025, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2649 "2025-08-25T18:30:23Z")
- Anything else? - Yes. If you use my toothbrush I’ll jump out that window. Please do not come to my funeral. Have a good night. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2025, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2650 "2025-08-26T15:40:51Z")
You missed your grandfather’s funeral. He had everything planned to the last detail, and you missed it. The police send off. Daphne’s toast. Bulldog’s Ave Maria. What possible excuse could you have for not being there with your family? ---
**Author:** ![llikewise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llikewise/32/8522_2.png) [@llikewise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llikewise)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2025, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2651 "2025-08-28T19:55:11Z")
God, help your family. Because I think they actually love you. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2025, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2652 "2025-08-30T18:29:31Z")
I’ve heard that before, but then, the next thing you know I’m hiding in my bedroom, blaring a Richard Feinman lecture while my mom is shouting that Jesus would forgive her if she put ground glass in my dad’s meatloaf, and my dad’s on the roof skeet-shooting her Franklin Mint collectible plates. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2025, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2653 "2025-08-31T13:41:57Z")
Richard, I was on my way to the lodge meeting. What happened? ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2025, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2654 "2025-08-31T15:51:22Z")
In a minute we’re going to start an official Possum Lodge meeting, and we’re going to do the Possum Lodge salute, and the Possum Lodge open, and you’re gonna have to stand, but before we get that far, I’m gonna teach 'em to ya. ---
**Author:** ![llikewise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llikewise/32/8522_2.png) [@llikewise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llikewise)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2025, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2655 "2025-09-01T00:59:47Z")
Sorry. This is the rear entrance to the Water Buffalo convention hall. No ladies allowed. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2025, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2656 "2025-09-01T02:55:00Z")
I now call to order the first meeting… of the ancient, mystic society of… No Homers. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2025, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2657 "2025-09-01T15:22:42Z")
“Winning shows strength. Winning without fighting shows true skill.” “You are a student of ancient strategies.” ---
**Author:** ![llikewise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llikewise/32/8522_2.png) [@llikewise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llikewise)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2025, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2658 "2025-09-03T00:24:38Z")
[_encouraging Beaver to read Sir Walter Scott’s “Ivanhoe” for his school assignment_] There’s a lot of excitement in the book, Beaver. You see, these knights fought to defend their code of honor. And they, oh, they rode all over the countryside, avenging wrongs and protecting the weak. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2025, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2659 "2025-09-03T18:51:37Z")
I was wrong to think you could be a threat to the world. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2025, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2660 "2025-09-03T18:58:11Z")
The guy’s one lab accident away from being a super villain. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107.md?page=132) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107.md?page=134)