# Speak to me in...TV quotes! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [November 17, 2022, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107 "2022-11-17T22:21:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 135
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2025, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2681 "2025-09-10T18:32:53Z")
Sheldon, don’t take this the wrong way, but, you’re insane. ---
**Author:** ![llikewise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llikewise/32/8522_2.png) [@llikewise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llikewise)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2025, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2682 "2025-09-11T00:09:19Z")
You can’t be serious? My daughter is marrying a gigolo who’s mother is a criminally insane drug trafficker. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2025, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2683 "2025-09-11T14:38:59Z")
Mrs. Cooper, this is certainly a most serious and sobering charge. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2025, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2684 "2025-09-11T15:03:20Z")
Color me impressed. A B&E with B&V. What would your Holy Roller mother say about this, Betty? ---
**Author:** ![llikewise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llikewise/32/8522_2.png) [@llikewise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llikewise)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2025, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2685 "2025-09-11T23:32:37Z")
- Gee, Mom, do you mean like God? - Mmm-hmm. And Beaver, if you do something bad, you’re gonna hurt Him. - I wouldn’t want to do anything to hurt God. He’s got enough trouble with the Russians and all. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2025, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2686 "2025-09-12T00:08:29Z")
Here, I am janitor. In former Soviet Union, I am physicist. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2025, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2687 "2025-09-12T14:56:43Z")
You being a physicist, I wouldn’t mind if you stayed. ---
**Author:** ![llikewise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llikewise/32/8522_2.png) [@llikewise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llikewise)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2025, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2688 "2025-09-12T23:31:37Z")
As nice as that offer sounds, uh, the alternative is to spend the night with a stewardess who’s offered to bump me up to first class. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2025, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2689 "2025-09-13T13:28:54Z")
- Our children will be both smart and beautiful. - Not to mention imaginary. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2025, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2690 "2025-09-13T14:45:40Z")
Mom knew everything I did before I did it. ---
**Author:** ![llikewise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llikewise/32/8522_2.png) [@llikewise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llikewise)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2025, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2691 "2025-09-13T16:37:20Z")
Mothers are like that, yeah they are. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2025, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2692 "2025-09-13T19:54:26Z")
That’s what parents do: they all lie to their kids for their own good. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2025, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2693 "2025-09-14T14:55:49Z")
I would never lie. I willfully participated in a campaign of misinformation. ---
**Author:** ![llikewise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llikewise/32/8522_2.png) [@llikewise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llikewise)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2025, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2694 "2025-09-15T23:01:29Z")
Never tell the truth when a good lie will do. ---
**Author:** ![Bayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bayaker/32/3454_2.png) [@Bayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bayaker)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2025, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2695 "2025-09-16T11:49:46Z")
I told him the truth, and strange enough, he believed me. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2025, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2696 "2025-09-16T18:21:42Z")
She’s about to learn that the truth can take many different forms, depending on how you look at it. ---
**Author:** ![ekedolphin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ekedolphin/32/10003_2.png) [@ekedolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ekedolphin)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2025, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2697 "2025-09-16T18:37:36Z")
“You enjoy losing?” “Not really, no. But then, I don’t have anything to compare it to.” ---
**Author:** ![llikewise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llikewise/32/8522_2.png) [@llikewise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llikewise)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2025, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2698 "2025-09-16T23:44:16Z")
Wait a minute. This is the dumbest thing I ever heard. Your team is winning and your team is winning, but you both figured out a way to lose money on it. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2025, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2699 "2025-09-17T03:28:15Z")
I hate to do it, Artie, but I think I’m gonna pass. If you don’t pay me back, I ain’t gonna be able to hurt you. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2025, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2700 "2025-09-17T12:05:32Z")
You owe me. You owe yourself. You owe the whole community. You even owe my mother. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107.md?page=134) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107.md?page=136)