# Speak to me in...TV quotes! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [November 17, 2022, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107 "2022-11-17T22:21:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 143
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2025, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2841 "2025-12-10T15:42:21Z")
Gloria, where’s my good underwear? ---
**Author:** ![llikewise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llikewise/32/8522_2.png) [@llikewise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llikewise)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2025, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2842 "2025-12-10T19:02:04Z")
Men hang on to underwear until… until each individual underwear molecule is so strained it can barely retain the properties of a solid. It actually becomes underwear vapor. W- We don’t even throw it out, we just open a window and it goes out like dandelion spoors. That’s how men throw out underwear we just go… [blows] and it’s gone. That’s it. It’s just… ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2025, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2843 "2025-12-10T23:23:09Z")
I saw it in the window and I couldn’t resist. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2025, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2844 "2025-12-13T16:28:41Z")
Lois, who else knocks on your third floor window? ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2025, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2845 "2025-12-13T16:43:24Z")
(knock-knock-knock) Penny! (knock-knock-knock) Penny! (knock-knock-knock) Penny! ---
**Author:** ![llikewise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llikewise/32/8522_2.png) [@llikewise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llikewise)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2025, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2846 "2025-12-13T17:51:57Z")
[_everybody is hitting up Beaver to vote for them for Junior Fire Chief when Penny “accidentally” bumps into him in the hallway_] Why, Beaver Cleaver, it’s \*you\*. Why, you’re getting so big and tall that I didn’t recognize you! ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2025, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2847 "2025-12-14T15:14:25Z")
The whole world is short! ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2025, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2848 "2025-12-14T16:26:59Z")
Short jokes? Really? You’re like a quarter of an inch taller than me. ---
**Author:** ![llikewise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llikewise/32/8522_2.png) [@llikewise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llikewise)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2025, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2849 "2025-12-14T20:39:05Z")
How come there’s guys like Lumpy, who pick on littler guys? ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2025, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2850 "2025-12-15T15:17:12Z")
Why don’t I have to stand in line to bully you? ---
**Author:** ![llikewise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llikewise/32/8522_2.png) [@llikewise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llikewise)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2025, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2851 "2025-12-17T23:41:46Z")
I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2025, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2852 "2025-12-18T01:51:20Z")
Geez, Tina, what are you, Narcy Narc and the Narcy Bunch? ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2025, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2853 "2025-12-18T16:56:00Z")
Oh, I see! A bunch of stuff gets bent, so it must be the robot designed for bending! ---
**Author:** ![llikewise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llikewise/32/8522_2.png) [@llikewise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llikewise)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2025, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2854 "2025-12-19T20:33:18Z")
- Hello, random patient. You have cancer. Press 1 for a reassuring pep talk. Press 2 to give up. You pressed 1 for a reassuring pep talk. You are strong. You can beat this. Beat this, beat this, beat this, beat this. [explodes] **-** Stupid robot - Ow ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2025, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2855 "2025-12-19T23:04:07Z")
- Internet’s been down for half an hour. - Also Sheldon might be a robot. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2025, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2856 "2025-12-19T23:28:25Z")
Is Malcolm a robot? ---
**Author:** ![llikewise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llikewise/32/8522_2.png) [@llikewise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llikewise)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2025, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2857 "2025-12-23T17:22:21Z")
I swear on my mother’s rechargable batteries. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2025, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2858 "2025-12-23T21:43:42Z")
My battery is going dead, my circuits have shorted, and my cooling system has broken down. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2025, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2859 "2025-12-23T22:21:54Z")
Yeah, see, that’s the code red! It’s kind of like a jack in the box. No one knows exactly when, but at some point, something way worse than a puppet is gonna pop out of that box. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2025, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/2860 "2025-12-24T16:19:32Z")
Oh, yes, I laughed too when I first heard it. So, later, I got up and I ran down that mountain and I found that the rocks weren’t grey at all. They were red, brown, purple and gold. And those pathetic little patches of sludgy snow, they were shining white. Shining white in the sunlight. You still frightened, Jo? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107.md?page=142) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107.md?page=144)