# Speak to me in...TV quotes! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [November 17, 2022, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107 "2022-11-17T22:21:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 155
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2026, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3081 "2026-03-30T18:34:10Z")
Brought to you in living color ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2026, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3082 "2026-03-30T18:36:25Z")
You can do what you want to do In Living Color ---
**Author:** ![llikewise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llikewise/32/8522_2.png) [@llikewise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llikewise)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2026, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3083 "2026-03-30T19:23:22Z")
Congratulations. You have won a free 27-inch color TV." What is this, a scam? ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2026, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3084 "2026-03-31T13:29:35Z")
Oh, come on guys, give me a break, I’m a reformed man. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2026, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3085 "2026-03-31T17:12:41Z")
You are such a disappointing pair. I prayed so hard for you. It saddens and hurts me that the two young men whom I raised to believe in the Ten Commandments have returned to me as two thieves, with filthy mouths and bad attitudes. Get out, and don’t come back until you’ve redeemed yourselves ---
**Author:** ![llikewise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llikewise/32/8522_2.png) [@llikewise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llikewise)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2026, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3086 "2026-03-31T19:10:43Z")
Now I’ve got two sons working nights in a saloon. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2026, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3087 "2026-04-01T23:27:27Z")
I’ll close every saloon, gambling hall, and store in Dodge. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2026, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3088 "2026-04-02T02:28:29Z")
I’ve sold monorails to Brockway, Ogdenville, and North Haverbrook, and, by gum, it put them on the map! ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2026, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3089 "2026-04-02T03:35:45Z")
I took Grand Street till about Staples, then got on the 10 West to La Cienega and went north. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2026, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3090 "2026-04-02T11:49:02Z")
In those eastern newspapers, they write about the lawlessness of the West. But they don’t know what it really means to live that way. ---
**Author:** ![llikewise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llikewise/32/8522_2.png) [@llikewise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llikewise)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2026, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3091 "2026-04-02T20:17:32Z")
Well, enjoy that while it lasts. I had a pretty good hat run, but then I saw a photo of myself from the dude ranch. I looked like Reba at the Grammys. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2026, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3092 "2026-04-03T23:31:22Z")
You’ve got a hat box. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2026, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3093 "2026-04-04T00:45:18Z")
Something will come out, and it won’t be a jack in the box. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2026, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3094 "2026-04-04T11:55:31Z")
Not until the box is in my hands. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2026, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3095 "2026-04-04T12:51:06Z")
Is it bigger than a bread box? ---
**Author:** ![llikewise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llikewise/32/8522_2.png) [@llikewise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llikewise)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2026, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3096 "2026-04-04T14:04:04Z")
Small penis. You have a small penis. Oh, that’s super interesting, but you have a small penis. Damn it, Marshall! Okay. Okay. Think of any two words other than “small” or “penis.” Got it: small penis. Damn it! ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2026, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3097 "2026-04-05T02:02:33Z")
I need an orderly with a wheelchair. I got a robot hand grasping a man’s penis out here. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2026, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3098 "2026-04-05T02:44:04Z")
Jane, turn off this crazy thing! ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2026, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3099 "2026-04-05T12:08:57Z")
Jane. On a school team. That’s pathetic. Hey, if she’s the pathetic one, why am I talking to myself? ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2026, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3100 "2026-04-05T14:24:11Z")
These kids got me talking to myself like some kind of damn recluse or a loser. Or Janine. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107.md?page=154) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107.md?page=156)