# Speak to me in...TV quotes! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [November 17, 2022, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107 "2022-11-17T22:21:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 163
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2026, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3241 "2026-05-13T15:42:04Z")
Teddy, I know that’s your burger. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2026, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3242 "2026-05-13T19:08:22Z")
“Oh please, call me by my first name. Commissioner”. (Frank Reagan). ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2026, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3243 "2026-05-13T20:58:41Z")
“Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.” “Okay, Mr. Burns, what’s your first name?” “I don’t know.” ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2026, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3244 "2026-05-13T22:59:54Z")
My name is Kramer. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2026, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3245 "2026-05-14T02:21:03Z")
My name is Arnold Horshack. ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2026, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3246 "2026-05-14T07:03:45Z")
My name is Dick Whitman. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2026, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3247 "2026-05-14T12:12:28Z")
“Are you Arthur P. Dietrich?” “Yeah.” “What’s the P stand for?” “I was never told.” ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2026, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3248 "2026-05-14T12:51:23Z")
At school, everybody thinks “Only You” is like my first name. I almost didn’t graduate from Grammar School because they couldn’t fit “Only You Maynard G. Krebs” on my diploma. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2026, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3249 "2026-05-14T15:43:27Z")
Leonard has no business being involved with a waitress / actress who felt so insecure that she lied to him about finishing community college. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2026, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3250 "2026-05-14T18:57:24Z")
_Who cares if I’m pretty if I fail my finals?_ ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2026, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3251 "2026-05-14T19:39:59Z")
Ehhh, sit on it! ---
**Author:** ![llikewise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llikewise/32/8522_2.png) [@llikewise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llikewise)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2026, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3252 "2026-05-14T20:28:05Z")
The chair she was tied to. That’s what this whole thing has been about. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2026, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3253 "2026-05-15T02:05:33Z")
Honey… honey, wake up. You won’t believe the dream I just had. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2026, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3254 "2026-05-15T02:06:35Z")
_They say a dream takes only a second or so, and yet in that second a man can live a lifetime_ ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2026, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3255 "2026-05-15T06:24:23Z")
A madman got us into this, and it’s beginning to look like only a madman can get us out. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2026, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3256 "2026-05-15T11:39:31Z")
“About the kind of plan I’d expect a madman to devise.” “No, no, not madness, Mr. West. Just a man methodically balancing the scales of justice.” ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2026, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3257 "2026-05-15T14:53:53Z")
I’m not crazy. My mother had me tested. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2026, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3258 "2026-05-15T18:57:42Z")
_The best people are_ ---
**Author:** ![llikewise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llikewise/32/8522_2.png) [@llikewise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llikewise)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2026, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3259 "2026-05-16T15:38:08Z")
Okay, what does “VIP” stand for in your universe? [silence] Well, I know that the “P” is penis. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2026, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3260 "2026-05-17T18:55:16Z")
The universe is big. It’s vast and complicated and ridiculous. And sometimes, very rarely, impossible things just happen and we call them miracles. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107.md?page=162) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107.md?page=164)