# Speak to me in...TV quotes! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [November 17, 2022, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107 "2022-11-17T22:21:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 184
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2026, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3661 "2026-10-30T17:41:54Z")
The mean Indian lady tried to make me eat lamb. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2026, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3662 "2026-10-30T20:54:51Z")
No soup for you! ---
**Author:** ![LavenderMagnolia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/2bfe46/32.png) [@LavenderMagnolia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderMagnolia)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2026, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3663 "2026-10-30T21:13:33Z")
“Have you noticed that every place has that tip jar on the counter? What is the service that this tip is for, anyway? I mean, isn’t the man basically just turning around? Isn’t that really all it is? I think we’re tipping people now just for the absence of outright hostility.” ---
**Author:** ![llikewise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llikewise/32/8522_2.png) [@llikewise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llikewise)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2026, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3664 "2026-10-31T14:34:30Z")
- Gee a whole nickel. Thanks a lot boy. - What’s the matter mister? Don’t they pay you for driving your cab around? - Sure, I get paid. - Then how come you wanna take free money away from a kid? ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2026, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3665 "2026-10-31T16:06:10Z")
Barney I’d offer you some dough only I know you’re too proud to take it. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2026, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3666 "2026-10-31T16:25:48Z")
Barney, divorce is like a horse with a broken leg. You can shoot the horse, but that don’t fix the leg. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2026, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3667 "2026-10-31T19:55:03Z")
I have three kids and no money. Why can’t I have no kids and three money?" ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2026, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3668 "2026-11-01T13:51:00Z")
I’m not going to spend my hard earned money so you and your buddy can sit around drinking beer all day. In, fact I already bought something more important. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2026, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3669 "2026-11-01T16:07:35Z")
I was thinking along the lines of “no TV and no beer make Homer something something.” ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2026, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3670 "2026-11-01T19:21:29Z")
Here’s to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.” ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2026, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3671 "2026-11-01T19:27:44Z")
And because it’s odorless, why, it’ll be our little secret! ---
**Author:** ![llikewise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llikewise/32/8522_2.png) [@llikewise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llikewise)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2026, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3672 "2026-11-01T20:22:23Z")
] You don’t know how to drink. Your whole generation, you drink for the wrong reasons. My generation, we drink because it’s good, because it feels better than unbuttoning your collar, because we deserve it. We drink because it’s what men do. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2026, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3673 "2026-11-01T21:08:29Z")
🎶 _A little touched, or so we’re told Killed his wife ‘cause she had a cold Might as well, she was gettin’ old! Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad!_ ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2026, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3674 "2026-11-03T19:26:57Z")
“It’s a cold. It’ll get better.” ---
**Author:** ![llikewise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llikewise/32/8522_2.png) [@llikewise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llikewise)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2026, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3675 "2026-11-03T21:18:39Z")
- When will the pain go away? - Never. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2026, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3676 "2026-11-04T01:17:12Z")
Oh, the pain, the pain… ---
**Author:** ![Bayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bayaker/32/3454_2.png) [@Bayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bayaker)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2026, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3677 "2026-11-04T13:15:57Z")
Walk it off. And remember, the next time stretch before you ovulate. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2026, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3678 "2026-11-04T21:21:12Z")
It was really nice to do a walk that wasn’t of shame, but still. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2026, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3679 "2026-11-04T21:24:34Z")
Maybe, just once, someone will call me ‘sir’ without adding, ‘you’re making a scene.’ ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2026, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/3680 "2026-11-04T21:25:16Z")
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