# Speak to me in...TV quotes! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [November 17, 2022, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107 "2022-11-17T22:21:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 37
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2023, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/721 "2023-04-29T11:51:23Z")
Barney, his wife has decided not to press charges, so I let him go after giving him that spiel you always give about “not losing one’s perspective.” ---
**Author:** ![llikewise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llikewise/32/8522_2.png) [@llikewise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llikewise)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2023, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/722 "2023-04-29T15:29:05Z")
Don’t exactly work that way, Big Rick, but if they try at the trial passing you off as the mastermind, you tell 'em what you just said. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2023, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/723 "2023-04-29T16:40:13Z")
You chose to come here, you chose to talk, to belittle my vocation, just as you chose to become a pickle. You are the master of your universe and yet you are dripping with rat blood and feces, your enormous mind literally vegetating by your own hand. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2023, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/724 "2023-04-29T18:08:36Z")
Let’s get to know each other. Let’s talk. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2023, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/725 "2023-04-29T18:12:58Z")
Are we going to talk? We could talk. . . I’ll go if I don’t have to talk. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2023, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/726 "2023-04-29T18:13:06Z")
I had to join one of those fancy-schmancy health clubs. You know, the ones where it’s real expensive to join but it’s worth it, ‘cause you get to see a lot o’ people that you don’t know naked! ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2023, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/727 "2023-04-29T18:17:53Z")
I’m not taking a soak in that human bacteria frappe you’ve got going there. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2023, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/728 "2023-04-30T20:32:55Z")
I shower twice a day and wash my hands as often as I can. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2023, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/729 "2023-04-30T21:13:49Z")
Trim that nose hair, soldier! ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2023, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/730 "2023-05-01T18:21:17Z")
The army ain’t asking, soldier. ---
**Author:** ![llikewise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llikewise/32/8522_2.png) [@llikewise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llikewise)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2023, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/731 "2023-05-01T19:19:07Z")
Commander, how would you and your men like two weeks with nothing to do but play gin rummy, go surfing, have luaus with steel drum bands, dancing girls, hmm? ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2023, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/732 "2023-05-01T20:43:55Z")
Helping these kids is very important to us. I want to stop every one of them from growing up to be a crummy, shaggy, no-good bum. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2023, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/733 "2023-05-02T00:38:10Z")
I would have succeeded, if it weren’t for those meddling kids! ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2023, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/734 "2023-05-02T15:14:44Z")
Wouldn’t you like to be a big brother to someone like me? ---
**Author:** ![llikewise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llikewise/32/8522_2.png) [@llikewise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llikewise)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2023, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/735 "2023-05-02T18:12:59Z")
They signed a pact: love of brother for brother. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2023, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/736 "2023-05-02T18:14:50Z")
Take me to my brother or I’ll do something Alfred Hitchcock never dreamed of. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2023, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/737 "2023-05-03T15:37:11Z")
Colonel Potter, Sir! Corporal Klinger. I’m section 8, head to toe. I’m wearing a Warner bra. I play with dolls. My last wish is to be buried in my mother’s wedding gown. I’m nuts. I should be out. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2023, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/738 "2023-05-03T16:26:27Z")
Oh, Frank, my lips are hot! Oh, kiss my hot lips! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2023, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/739 "2023-05-03T16:31:22Z")
We dated two years before we held hands. ---
**Author:** ![llikewise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llikewise/32/8522_2.png) [@llikewise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llikewise)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2023, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107/740 "2023-05-03T19:17:29Z")
Is that your hand on my ass? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107.md?page=36) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-in-tv-quotes/975107.md?page=38)