# Speak to me only in Movie Quotes **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 20, 2012, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-movie-quotes/628882 "2012-07-20T20:16:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 562
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2016, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-movie-quotes/628882/11224 "2016-03-20T20:03:03Z")
A tiger…in Africa? ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2016, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-movie-quotes/628882/11225 "2016-03-21T02:08:30Z")
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I’ll never know. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2016, 11:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-movie-quotes/628882/11226 "2016-03-21T11:05:03Z")
Who’s in pajamas, Walter? ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2016, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-movie-quotes/628882/11227 "2016-03-21T13:43:57Z")
Shut the fuck up, Donny! ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2016, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-movie-quotes/628882/11228 "2016-03-21T23:36:11Z")
You know, everything is not an anecdote. You have to discriminate. You choose things that are funny, or mildly amusing, or interesting. You’re a miracle! Your stories have none of that. They’re not even amusing accidentally! _“Honey, I’d like you to meet Del Griffith, he’s got some amusing anecdotes for you. Oh, and here’s a gun so you can blow your brains out. You’ll thank me for it!”_ I could tolerate any insurance seminar. For days I could sit there and listen to them go on and on with a big smile on my face. They’d say, _“How can you stand it?”_ I’d say, _“'Cause I’ve been with Del Griffith. I can take ANYTHING.”_ You know what they’d say? They’d say, _“I know what you mean, the shower curtain ring guy. Woah.”_ It’s like going on a date with a Chatty Cathy doll. I expect you have a little string on your chest, you know, that I pull out and have to snap back. Except I wouldn’t pull it out and snap it back - YOU would. _Agh! Agh! Agh! Agh!_ And by the way, you know, when you’re telling these little stories? Here’s a good idea - HAVE A POINT. It makes it so much more interesting for the listener! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2016, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-movie-quotes/628882/11229 "2016-03-21T23:40:56Z")
I think it’s brilliant! What an idea! And I was there! He took the idea! He saw it ripe on the tree, he plucked it, and he put it in his pocket. It’s, it’s, dare I say… genius? Ah, no, no! But maybe, ooh! ah! maybe it is! Maybe I’m in the presence of greatness, maybe I just don’t know it. But I saw it… ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2016, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-movie-quotes/628882/11230 "2016-03-22T05:33:18Z")
I love this plan! I’m excited to be a part of it! ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2016, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-movie-quotes/628882/11231 "2016-03-22T11:00:54Z")
Doesn’t it give you, like, a shudder of electricity… to be in the same room with me? ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2016, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-movie-quotes/628882/11232 "2016-03-22T13:22:09Z")
Oh, right! To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people! I’ve known sheep that could outwit you. I’ve worn dresses with higher IQs. But you think you’re an intellectual, don’t you, ape? ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2016, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-movie-quotes/628882/11233 "2016-03-22T17:06:30Z")
Jane, do you know what he wants? What this ape wants? ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2016, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-movie-quotes/628882/11234 "2016-03-22T22:30:51Z")
I’m a fucking gorilla, you clown! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2016, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-movie-quotes/628882/11235 "2016-03-23T00:26:44Z")
Tell him about the Twinkie. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2016, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-movie-quotes/628882/11236 "2016-03-23T00:45:21Z")
You know what crazy is? Crazy is majority rules. Take germs, for example. Uh-huh. In the 18th century, no such thing, nada, nothing. No one ever imagined such a thing. No sane person, anyway. Along comes this doctor, uh, uh, uh, Semmelweis, Semmelweis. Semmelweis comes along. He’s trying to convince people, well, other doctors mainly, that’s there’s these teeny tiny invisible bad things called germs that get into your body and make you sick. Ah? He’s trying to get doctors to wash their hands. What is this guy, crazy? Teeny, tiny, invisible? What do you call it? Uh, uh, germs? Huh? What? Now, cut to the 20th century. Last week, as a matter of fact, before I got dragged into this hellhole - I go in to order a burger in this fast food joint, and the guy drops it on the floor. Jim, he picks it up, he wipes it off, he hands it to me like it’s all OK. “What about the germs?” I say. He says, “I don’t believe in germs. Germs is just a plot they made up so they can sell you disinfectants and soaps.” Now _he’s_ crazy, right? See? Ah! Ah! There’s no right, there’s no wrong, there’s only popular opinion! You… you… you believe in germs, right? ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2016, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-movie-quotes/628882/11237 "2016-03-23T01:56:54Z")
Ah, if there’s a steady paycheck in it, I’ll believe anything you say. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2016, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-movie-quotes/628882/11238 "2016-03-23T05:10:41Z")
I meant what I said, and I said what I meant: An elephant’s faithful one hundred percent. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2016, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-movie-quotes/628882/11239 "2016-03-23T11:58:10Z")
Mister, if you don’t shut up I’m gonna kick one hundred percent of your ass! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2016, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-movie-quotes/628882/11240 "2016-03-23T12:08:34Z")
Shut the fuck up, Donny! ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2016, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-movie-quotes/628882/11241 "2016-03-23T13:29:24Z")
Silence! ---
**Author:** ![ekedolphin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ekedolphin/32/10003_2.png) [@ekedolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ekedolphin)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2016, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-movie-quotes/628882/11242 "2016-03-23T16:41:02Z")
Traitor to the crown?! That crown belongs to King Richard. Long live King Richard!! ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2016, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-movie-quotes/628882/11243 "2016-03-23T17:08:49Z")
The Black Prince is dead! _ENGLAND IS YOURS!_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-movie-quotes/628882.md?page=561) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-movie-quotes/628882.md?page=563)