# Speak to Me Only in Really Stupid Movie Quotes **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [July 18, 2013, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-really-stupid-movie-quotes/663848 "2013-07-18T15:17:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Engineer\_Dude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9fc29f/32.png) [@Engineer\_Dude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Engineer_Dude)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-really-stupid-movie-quotes/663848/1 "2013-07-18T15:17:24Z")
The Fucking Catalina Wine Mixer! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-really-stupid-movie-quotes/663848/2 "2013-07-18T15:31:35Z")
Greetings, my friend. We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future. You are interested in the unknown… the mysterious. The unexplainable. That is why you are here. And now, for the first time, we are bringing to you, the full story of what happened on that fateful day. We are bringing you all the evidence, based only on the secret testimony, of the miserable souls, who survived this terrifying ordeal. The incidents, the places. My friend, we cannot keep this a secret any longer. Let us punish the guilty. Let us reward the innocent. My friend, can your heart stand the shocking facts of grave robbers from outer space? ---
**Author:** ![Engineer\_Dude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9fc29f/32.png) [@Engineer\_Dude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Engineer_Dude)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-really-stupid-movie-quotes/663848/3 "2013-07-18T16:45:44Z")
_points to a pond_ This is where the fish lives. ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-really-stupid-movie-quotes/663848/4 "2013-07-18T16:47:43Z")
It’s the hockey team from hell! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-really-stupid-movie-quotes/663848/5 "2013-07-18T16:48:48Z")
H-E-Double Hockey Sticks! ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-really-stupid-movie-quotes/663848/6 "2013-07-18T16:50:03Z")
Dude, we were lied to by our album covers. Hell sucks! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-really-stupid-movie-quotes/663848/7 "2013-07-18T16:53:40Z")
Pazuzu, king of the evil spirits of the air, help me to find Kokumo! ---
**Author:** ![Engineer\_Dude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9fc29f/32.png) [@Engineer\_Dude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Engineer_Dude)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-really-stupid-movie-quotes/663848/8 "2013-07-18T17:21:09Z")
I may be a bastard, but I’m not a fucking bastard. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-really-stupid-movie-quotes/663848/9 "2013-07-18T20:20:21Z")
But one thing’s sure. Inspector Clay is dead, murdered, and somebody’s responsible. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-really-stupid-movie-quotes/663848/10 "2013-07-18T20:20:59Z")
I’m a zit…get it? ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-really-stupid-movie-quotes/663848/11 "2013-07-18T20:29:55Z")
In a world gone mad, we will not spank the monkey, but the monkey will spank us. ---
**Author:** ![Suburban\_Plankton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suburban_plankton/32/219_2.png) [@Suburban\_Plankton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suburban_Plankton)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-really-stupid-movie-quotes/663848/12 "2013-07-19T00:49:02Z")
\ He molested, murdered and mutilated her. ---
**Author:** ![kevja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/aeb1de/32.png) [@kevja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kevja)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-really-stupid-movie-quotes/663848/13 "2013-07-19T00:59:37Z")
Picked up at the bus terminal, gang-raped, sodomized…and working the streets the next day. I don’t think she’s ready to face the cops. ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-really-stupid-movie-quotes/663848/14 "2013-07-19T01:35:52Z")
What if you mix the mayonnaise in the can, _with_ the tunafish? Or… hold it! Chuck! I got it! Take _live_ tuna fish, and _feed_ 'em mayonnaise! Oh this is great. ---
**Author:** ![Engineer\_Dude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9fc29f/32.png) [@Engineer\_Dude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Engineer_Dude)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-really-stupid-movie-quotes/663848/15 "2013-07-19T01:54:08Z")
Looks like Chuck’s taking the skin boat to tuna town! ---
**Author:** ![JLRogers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ce73a5/32.png) [@JLRogers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JLRogers)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-really-stupid-movie-quotes/663848/16 "2013-07-19T06:43:40Z")
This is my new mop. George, my friend, he gave me this mop. This is a pretty good mop. It’s not as good as my first mop. I miss my first mop, but this is still a good mop. Sometimes you just have to take what life gives you, 'cause life is like a mop, and sometimes life gets full of dirt and crud and bugs and hairballs and stuff. You, you, you gotta clean it out. You, you, you gotta put it in here and rinse it off and start all over again and, and sometimes, sometimes life sticks to the floor so bad you know a mop, a mop, it’s not good enough, it’s not good enough. You, you gotta get down there, like, with a toothbrush, you know, and you gotta, you gotta really scrub, 'cause you gotta get it off. You gotta really try to get it off. But if that doesn’t work. That doesn’t work. You can’t give up. You gotta, you gotta stand right up. You, you gotta run to a window and say, “Hey! These floors are dirty as hell, and I’m not gonna take it any more!” ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-really-stupid-movie-quotes/663848/17 "2013-07-19T11:54:02Z")
Anyway, like I was sayin’, shrimp is the fruit of the sea. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it. Dey’s uh, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There’s pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich. That- that’s about it. ---
**Author:** ![LawMonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@LawMonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LawMonkey)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-really-stupid-movie-quotes/663848/18 "2013-07-19T14:22:32Z")
Noooooooooooo!!! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-really-stupid-movie-quotes/663848/19 "2013-07-19T14:29:44Z")
Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-really-stupid-movie-quotes/663848/20 "2013-07-19T14:53:11Z")
A lot o’ people don’t realize what’s really going on. They view life as a bunch o’ unconnected incidents ‘n things. They don’t realize that there’s this, like, lattice o’ coincidence that lays on top o’ everything. Give you an example; show you what I mean: suppose you’re thinkin’ about a plate o’ shrimp. Suddenly someone’ll say, like, plate, or shrimp, or plate o’ shrimp out of the blue, no explanation. No point in lookin’ for one, either. It’s all part of a cosmic unconciousness. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-really-stupid-movie-quotes/663848.md?page=2)