# Speak to me only in Science Fiction **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [June 12, 2014, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621 "2014-06-12T13:28:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2014, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/1 "2014-06-12T13:28:39Z")
Okay, by now we all know how this type of thread works. You can use any science fiction source, novels, TV, short stories, movies, etc. Posts can be up to one paragraph long. "You had a _jumpship_ and you _gave it away_?" ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2014, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/2 "2014-06-12T13:34:13Z")
_It is a period of civil war. Rebel spaceships, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil Galactic Empire. During the battle, rebel spies managed to steal secret plans to the Empire’s ultimate weapon, the Death Star, an armored space station with enough power to destroy an entire planet. Pursued by the Empire’s sinister agents, Princess Leia races home aboard her starship, custodian of the stolen plans that can save her people and restore freedom to the galaxy…_ ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2014, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/3 "2014-06-12T13:36:56Z")
Resistance is futile. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2014, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/4 "2014-06-12T13:53:52Z")
Never tell me the odds. ---
**Author:** ![campp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@campp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/campp)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2014, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/5 "2014-06-12T13:57:00Z")
Travel the Stars in Peace. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2014, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/6 "2014-06-12T14:17:24Z")
But leave in pieces! ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2014, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/7 "2014-06-12T14:33:51Z")
Space Herpes!! ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2014, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/8 "2014-06-12T14:58:44Z")
Game over, man! Game over! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2014, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/9 "2014-06-12T15:18:40Z")
A strange game. The only winning move is not to play. How about a nice game of chess? ---
**Author:** ![Toucanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3bc359/32.png) [@Toucanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toucanna)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2014, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/10 "2014-06-12T16:17:33Z")
No need to panic, my young friends. We all know there are no more living Cybermen. What you are seeing is a miracle. The 699[sup]th[/sup] wonder of the Universe. As displayed before the Imperial court and only here to destroy you at chess. Careful now! An empty shell and yet it moves. How? ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2014, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/11 "2014-06-12T16:38:56Z")
“You’re in a desert, walking along in the sand when…” “Is this the test now?” “Yes. You’re in a desert, walking along in the sand when all of a sudden you look down and see a…” “What one?” “What?” “What desert?” “Doesn’t make any difference what desert… it’s completely hypothetical.” “But how come I’d be there?” “Maybe you’re fed up, maybe you want to be by yourself…who knows. So you look down and see a tortoise. It’s crawling toward you…” “A tortoise. What’s that?” “Know what a turtle is?” “Of course.” “Same thing.” “I never seen a turtle.” ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2014, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/12 "2014-06-12T16:40:43Z")
I’m not in the business. I _am_ the business. ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2014, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/13 "2014-06-12T17:00:37Z")
I knew it! I’m surrounded by Assholes! ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2014, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/14 "2014-06-12T17:17:33Z")
Don’t mock me my friend. It’s a condition of mental divergence. I find myself on the planet Ogo, part of an intellectual elite, preparing to subjugate the barbarian hordes on Pluto. But even though this is a totally convincing reality for me in every way, nevertheless Ogo is actually a construct of my psyche. I am mentally divergent, in that I am escaping certain unnamed realities that plague my life here. When I stop going there, I will be well. Are you also divergent, friend? ---
**Author:** ![Satchmo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/satchmo/32/4223_2.png) [@Satchmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satchmo)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2014, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/15 "2014-06-12T18:01:20Z")
A zygote is a gamete’s way of producing more gamete’s. This may be the purpose of the universe. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2014, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/16 "2014-06-12T18:02:04Z")
What an amazing new smell you’ve discovered! ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2014, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/17 "2014-06-12T18:02:23Z")
“Ivan, one of these days somebody is going to pull out a weapon and plug you, and you’re going to die in bewilderment, crying, ‘What did I say? What did I say?’” ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2014, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/18 "2014-06-12T18:29:25Z")
“Sic transit mundus” ---
**Author:** ![Toucanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3bc359/32.png) [@Toucanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toucanna)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2014, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/19 "2014-06-12T18:39:10Z")
He’s right. There isn’t another way, there never was. Either I destroy my own people or let the universe burn. ---
**Author:** ![wedgehed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8edcca/32.png) [@wedgehed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wedgehed)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2014, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/20 "2014-06-12T19:01:41Z")
Are you classified as human? Negative, I am a meat popsicle. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621.md?page=2)