# Speak to me only in Science Fiction **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [June 12, 2014, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621 "2014-06-12T13:28:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 23
**Author:** ![CheshireKat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheshirekat/32/1207_2.png) [@CheshireKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheshireKat)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2014, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/441 "2014-07-24T17:20:38Z")
You know I’d like to thank you for the time and trouble in bringing this to my attention. Before you go, I would like to present you with one of my souvenir pens. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2014, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/442 "2014-07-24T18:56:54Z")
nm ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2014, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/443 "2014-07-24T21:45:29Z")
What’s on your mind, boys? Time is money. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2014, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/444 "2014-07-24T22:09:54Z")
My name is H.G. Wells. I came here in a time machine of my own construction. I am pursuing Jack the Ripper, who escaped into the future in my machine. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2014, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/445 "2014-07-24T23:18:20Z")
Ooh! Morlocks. C.H.U.D.s. Mole people! ---
**Author:** ![CheshireKat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheshirekat/32/1207_2.png) [@CheshireKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheshireKat)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2014, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/446 "2014-07-25T00:30:47Z")
Trumpy, I told you to stay outside. Nobody must see you. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2014, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/447 "2014-07-25T01:48:02Z")
Power, I said! Power to walk into the gold vaults of the nations, into the secrets of kings, into the Holy of Holies; power to make multitudes run squealing in terror at the touch of my little invisible finger. Even the moon’s frightened of me, frightened to death! The whole world’s frightened to death! ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2014, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/448 "2014-07-25T03:55:37Z")
That’s no moon… ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2014, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/449 "2014-07-25T11:32:18Z")
I know there is free speech on the Moon: I wrote it into the charter myself. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2014, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/450 "2014-07-25T13:54:57Z")
The Moon is a harsh mistress. ---
**Author:** ![Eleanor\_of\_Aquitaine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Eleanor\_of\_Aquitaine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eleanor_of_Aquitaine)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2014, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/451 "2014-07-25T14:11:50Z")
He tasks me. He tasks me and I shall have him! I’ll chase him round the moons of Nibia and round the Antares Maelstrom and round perdition’s flames before I give him up! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2014, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/452 "2014-07-25T14:31:31Z")
Come on you two, let’s go, we’re headed for the mountains! ---
**Author:** ![CheshireKat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheshirekat/32/1207_2.png) [@CheshireKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheshireKat)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2014, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/453 "2014-07-25T14:41:14Z")
So you just figured you’d come here, to the most hostile environment known to men, with no training of any kind, and see how it went? What was going through your head? ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2014, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/454 "2014-07-25T22:49:19Z")
The first thing I was supposed to do when I met you was try to kill you. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2014, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/455 "2014-07-26T01:51:21Z")
Are you familiar with Asimov’s Laws of Robotics? ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2014, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/456 "2014-07-26T02:29:58Z")
Crush, kill, destroy! ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2014, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/457 "2014-07-26T02:41:28Z")
First, may we destroy you a beverage of some sort? ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2014, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/458 "2014-07-26T02:43:38Z")
The best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, the effect of which is like having your brains smashed out with a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick. ---
**Author:** ![CheshireKat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheshirekat/32/1207_2.png) [@CheshireKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheshireKat)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2014, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/459 "2014-07-26T02:56:00Z")
You’re quite fit you know? Have you got a boyfriend? ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2014, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/460 "2014-07-26T03:18:59Z")
Do you want to come and play with me? For someone like you I charge nothing. You’re very pretty, Pretty-Pretty. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621.md?page=22) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621.md?page=24)